You can read my words, which have all been collected and organized into a bound volume called Shut Up, You’re Welcome. Oh hey, look at that, there’s a link over there. ————>

Topics covered:

  • A letter to Virgin America about losing my underwear
  • Why sandwiches make me so, so sad. Sniff.
  • My father’s love for the World’s Ugliest Table

If you want MOAR, you can read the best first book I’ve ever written Happy Birthday or Whatever (HarperCollins). And oh look at that, there’s another link over there, this place sure is organized! —————>

Topics covered:

  • how my mother forgot my birthday and then tried to convince me it was actually in September and not in August
  • my father’s uncanny resemblance to the letter p
  • a clock of The Last Supper on petrified wood

Do you want to read it in Korean? Of course you do! Go here.

I have also written other things. Wait, what?!

Bleeding Skull
I review movies for Bleeding Skull, a website that uncovers and celebrates obscure, trash-horror films. They are action-packed, sleazed-out fun fests that have risen from the gutters of cinema. Some are truly amazing. Some are diapers.

Urban Omnibus
An online project of the Architectural League of New York. You can read my essay that was awarded runner-up in a competition whose theme was New York City’s grid as “paradigm, rubric or muse for urban life. Warning: There is no nudity.

White Zinfandel
A food/art/culture magazine based in NYC. I’m a regular contributor. In Issue 1, I explain why I hate wrap sandwiches and in Issue 2, I address people who take photos of their food.

The Waiting Room Project
A creative collaboration exploring women’s health and health care issues. I wrote an essay for the anthology accompanying the art installation. It’s about urine, specifically, why it is all over my office’s bathroom. Download the PDF.

New Museum’s The Last Newspaper
A publication in conjunction with an exhibit about the history, use, and ideology of newspapers. I contributed “fauxbituaries” of famous architects. Download the PDF.

Pidgin Magazine
A journal edited and designed by graduate students at the Princeton University School of Architecture. I wrote an open letter called “Dear Architects, I am sick of your shit.” Download the PDF.

111 Chairs Project for Design Within Reach
The project profiles 111 people about Emeco’s 111 Navy Chair. I am one of the 111.

Publisher’s Weekly
An essay about having a literary bat mitzvah at Cody’s in San Francisco three days before it closed.

I hate my toaster oven.