Swedish Roll

When you get a full sized mattress from IKEA, cialis it comes like this. Seriously how is this going to be a mattress?

Related note IKEA meatballs have horse in them but I guess you still liked them anyway.

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LA Weekly Calls Me The Asian American Tina Fey So Now I Can Finally Die

LA Weekly ran a fantastic review of Shut Up, You’re Welcome!

“Don’t the networks have room for an Asian-American Tina Fey?”

HOLY WHAT THE WHAT?! I guess I can go die now because no one will ever say anything nicer to me than that. Folks, that was it. Game over. Now I will go eat this entire bag of Extreme Doritos and stop exercising because fuck it, there’s nothing left to live for.

This is how I feel right now.

pigicecream

Yes, that is a mini-pig eating a mini-ice cream. It is the only time a mini-ice cream is acceptable. (Thanks to Laura for texting me that.)

Also, blogging is apparently not a thing I do much. Instead, I’ve been posting photos and snarky shit over on the Annietown Facebook and Twitter. If you “like” my stupid shit then you will be able to enjoy pictures of llamas and a sign that says “Clothing Optional.”

True story: A chiropractor asked me how I chose “Annietown” and I said it’s because “Annie Choi” was taken. The moral of the story is that sometimes true stories are fucking boring.

People Are Being Nice and Saying Nice Things

People are saying nice things about SHUT UP, YOU’RE WELCOME! Yay!

First, Meg Cabot has been recommending my book all over town, including the official publication of hotels everywhere, USA Today. This is kiiinnnnnndddd of like getting a personal hug and a giant chocolate cake (without frosting because fuck that shit) from a hero. I love Meg Cabot, she is one part workhorse and two parts dreamboat, topped off with a tiara. HOW can one woman do all this?

SHUT UP also got a supremely kick ass review in this month’s BUST Magazine. It got a four boob review! Four boobs! Who doesn’t love boobs, amirite?

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“It’s as if a friend with great comedic timing was telling you a very animated story about losing her luggage.”

The great Patricia O’Toole once told me “Bad for life, good for writing.” This is how I approach Virgin America now.

And finally there’s a really great writeup in Paste Magazine.

“I found sprightly anecdotes galore and prose technique to rival the best humorists now working in this style.”

High praise! High praise! I am high, on praise! Now I will operate heavy machinery.

Thanks for all your support, everyone. I am super stoked about this book and grateful that it’s out in the wild, doing it’s thing. Meanwhile a mouse is living under my stove and doing mousey things like being a dick and pooping on the floor I just vacuumed and mopped. I know it’s weird that humans poop in a can of water (when you think about it, it’s really bizarre) but mice just poop wherever. Like they literally shit where they eat. It’s gross. My current mood is “keeping it real.”

Dear Musical Theater

Here’s another book trailer for Shut Up, You’re Welcome! Hear me rage against musical theater. I really do hate it.

San Francisco: See you tonight!

Hey Bay Area peeps! I’ll be reading, signing, and giving away stickers that smell like “never gonna give you up” and “never gonna let you down.” If you’re not sure what that smells like, then you should come tonight and smell for yourself. It smells pretty gnarly. Books will be for sale of course!

Books Inc – Laurel Village
3515 California Street
7 pm

See you there!

Hey Hey LA!

Angelenos!

I’ll be reading tonight at Book Soup at 7pm! I hear parking can get suckwad, so I recommend carpooling with your posse and rolling four deep (or however many your car can hold).

I will have stank-ass stickers and fairy stickers that promote unrealistic body image and unicorn rainbow stickers that promote, uh, unicorns.

I can’t wait to see you all tonight!

Book Soup
8818 W Sunset Blvd
7pm

Here’s another alpaca for you. Just because.

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Quick Alpaca Break

Fuckin alpacas, AMIRITE????

alpaca-haircuts

Top row is Cate Blanchett, an alpaca doing a sloth impression, and Justin Bieber after he’s been pushed out of a plane.

Bottom row from left to right:
Samuel L. Jackson, Ziggy Stardust, Steve Buscemi.

See You Tonight, Brooklyn!

Hey friends! The Powerhouse Arena reading is TONIGHT at 7pm! There’ll be wine and also STICKERS. Specifically scratch n’ sniff and some crazy rainbow puke ones by LISA FRANK. This is your chance to get a sticker of three dogs sitting on a sundae. The dogs are wearing sunglasses. There are also unicorns sitting on a sundae and kittens sitting on a sundae. Lisa Frank likes to draw animals sitting on sundaes.

Please RSVP if you can. It gives us a headcount.

See you tonight!

See You Friday, Austin

I’m kicking off the Shut Up and Read This Tour in Austin! See you Friday at 7 pm at BookPeople! Tell your friends!

This is my name up in lights!!!! I’m actually more excited about this marquee than the actual book itself.

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Photo via Joseph A. Ziemba

Shut Up, You’re Welcome is Out! No no, YOU Shut Up!

The book is out! I am excited because now I don’t have to write it! It’s just out there, in the wild, doing things that books do. Which is getting read and pulling double duty as a coaster and a mousepad. When you read this book, ask yourself, shit, is this the GREATEST second book Annie’s ever written? Hint: the answer is YES.

Please come say hi at one of my readings. I’m very friendly. I have scratch n’ sniff stickers for you and all your friends. They smell totally insane. My desk drawer smells like a perfect score on a spelling test.

Austin, Tx
July 12th – Friday – 7:00
BookPeople (603 North Lamar)

Brooklyn, NY
July 15 – Monday – 7:00
Powerhouse Arena (37 Main St. DUMBO)

Los Angeles, CA
July 18 – Thursday – 7:00
Book Soup (8818 W Sunset Blvd)

San Francisco, CA
July 23 – Tuesday – 7:00
Books Inc. – Laurel Village (3515 California St.)