Things got a little sad for the past two weeks or so, but now I am back and better. For those of you who do not know: a friend from college passed away and then a co-worker also passed away. Two separate incidences that happened more or less within 48 hours of each other. It’s been sad. But, things are better. For the record, I am glad February is over because it is truly a bullshit stupid month.
The last time I saw Peter was at my friend’s wedding. He showed up in Rhode Island without a hotel, because why would he bother with a hotel? Classic Peter. Just show up and it will work out. People will take care of you. It is like 50% sweet and 50% pure annoyance because I am more or less the opposite. I had my hotel reservation for like…six months. I am all organized n’ shit. So he and my friend Don (who also did not bother with a hotel because, let’s face it, only one person in a group needs to be organized, everyone else can just chill and hit the bong or whatever) crashed with me and Rosalyne and Peter spent all night snoring something FIERCE (like fierce in a bad way, not fierce in a fabulous, Lady Gaga in a camel-toe-leotard way) and in the middle of the night, Don punches him and says PETE YOU ARE FUCKING SNORING and Pete says, “What? What do you want me to do about it?” All indignant. And guess what? He was right. What the fuck is he supposed to do about it? It was a golden moment. But, in addition, I wanted to kill him because seriously, he snored SO LOUD it is like a pile driver in your earholes. I should also mention that Rosalyne snores too so it was like snoring in STEREO. I had to roll Rosalyne over on her side at one point. Like an infant. Then Pete woke up and made himself a bloody mary. Again, classic Peter. He was like, do you want some, and I was like uh I just brushed my teeth, dude.
Also, I should mention that Peter’s favorite book was HAWAII by James Michener. It is probably the worst book ever written. Seriously. You read the first paragraph and you are like WTF this is pure CRAP. I can shit a better book than this. I don’t even know how many times he read it. He would finish the last page, and then start right back at the first page, cigarette dangling form his lips, with an ash about an inch long. Worst. Book. Ever. At first I thought he loved it ironically. But then I realized he actually truly, madly, deeply loved the book. I want to say it’s about indigenous Hawaiians and maybe some white people come along and fall in love with some kind of Hawaiian and maybe there’s some kind of war with the natives? I don’t even know. All I know is that the book is about Hawaii and does not feature Magnum P.I. so I was not interested. But now I feel like I should read it. He would be so proud of me if I read it. But I would also hate him for it. Which, knowing Peter, he would also like.
So thank you Peter. It was truly an honor, and there are many people who will miss you. You should know that. I’m sure you do not give a shit, because that is your nature, but you know, people miss you. No, no, no! YOU shut up! My love to Eunice and his family. I’m not sure how a family recovers from something like this, honestly, but it will happen. It has to.
As for my co-worker, Naomi, she was battling cancer for a long time. What’s surprising was how strong she was. She just was always together. Like hey, this thing I have, whatever. I will beat it maybe, or maybe I won’t. But I’m just going to live a normal life and meet deadlines, checking email while getting her treatments. It’s crazy. If I were in her position, I probably would’ve bawled my eyes out and then really hammed it up so people would bring me ice cream. That is how I roll, sue me. Naomi and her husband have one of those relationships that make you realize that relationships can actually work. Truly one of those ‘love of my life’ connections and you are surprised because it’s so rare to see that now. But, she laid out what she wanted, and everyone carried it out. She made things easy. I missed the funeral service because I was in California for Peter’s. There’s nothing like missing one funeral because of another. But, I heard it was beautiful and fitting for someone so beautiful. So thank you, Naomi, it has been an honor. Tell Peter I said hi and to shut up.
So friends, I thank you for all your support.
And, in other news, my neighbors are still naked. I am now leaving my curtains OPEN in the hope that they will SEE ME and realize OH SHIT SHE CAN SEE ME and then get curtains that actually work. But so far this plan has severely backfired. The other night, the girl was BUTT NAKED and sitting on her futon and she was FIGHTING with her boyfriend, who was fully clothed. I am not entirely sure how you even get into a fight with a naked girl. Like you must have done something really, really wrong for that to happen. I was confused. But also, she does not know how to use her indoor voice. So she was just yelling and quite frankly, it was kind of shrill. Too shrill to make out separate words. I can only imagine what it is like inside their apartment.
Then she storms out, and soon after the dude drops his trousers, scratches his nuts and talks on the phone.
That is when I decided to close my curtains.
I guess officially I am spying on them, but DUDES THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU DO NOT HAVE CURTAINS.