Aura started a Facebook page for ME, that’s Annie Choi if you’re not paying attention. If you are on Facebook, click here to take a look and join. I am my own greatest fan. I’m glad I’m the greatest at something.

Check out the discussion section: “Do you love Annie Choi more than puppies?” The answer better be yes, natch! If not, you can suck it.

Also, my computer is sick. Just a little advice, do not feed computers tomatoes and raw pork.

Also, I just learned that wombats have a backward-facing pouch. I have to say that is like the coolest thing ever but also awkward. So the baby wombat looks like it’s coming out of the poop chute. But it doesn’t matter because look how DANGEROUSLY STUNNINGLY CUTE THIS IS. I am sad I do not have one to snuggle and spoon and cherish. I mean I love my stuffed wombat but it doesn’t have a fucking POUCH. Marsupials are the best. .

But then there’s this guy. Hello, new friend.

Anyway, yeah, pouches. Go!

Nathan saved Annietown from looking like Anniecrap! ——-> Sidebar is back, huzzah. Thanks Nathan, one day I will make it up to you, but I am not sure how.

Speaking of Annietown, I remember when I was trying to find a domain for the bloggorrhea I went through a dozen names including, Annieland (which was taken), Annieville, Annieland, Annienation, Annieopolis, Anniepants (which seemed too porno at the time even though that is my nickname), Anniecity, and some other stuff. Basically I wanted Annie plus some sort of locale though I am not quite sure why. Oh I also thought of RepublicofAnnie but that made me sound like some kind of commie, which my brother calls me anyway. It is kind of funny to call someone a commie, no one does it anymore. Maybe I will bring it back. When I was in college everyone was calling each other fascist. For, like, doing nothing. Pass me the soy milk, you freedom-hating fascist, etc. Kind of funny. Maybe.

Ravi!!! You are too busy making clarified butter. Come back here and help me. What happened to my sidebar? —–>

And why is it over here? <——–

And what’s with the “See It” “Hear It” stuff at the bottom? That was in the links section. That is the strangest shit ever. Looks buggy. And not like the kind you put a baby in. But the other kind that fills me with unearthly rage so much that I can lift a minivan, but not to save a trapped orphan underneath, but rather to move it on top of you.

Shit man, if I paid you, I would totally demand my money back. Damn you, Ravi!

As for everyone else who is not Ravi, hello and you are still my friend.

I don’t know what’s going on down there in the bottom lefthand corner, but it appears that there’s some kind of…database error. I don’t know how to fix it. I didn’t do anything, I swear. I think my categories are broken. Wordpress is angry. Probably because they like Aerosmith.

Hello.

Annietown was down. I don’t know why.

But now it’s up.

I’m not sure what happened but it could be that my domain expired. It could also be that the server that hosts Annietown reset or went down for maintenance or maybe a new server was put in or maybe trolls got in there and did some damage, which happens more often than you think. Goddamn trolls, they are worse than the roaches. But as the saying goes, you pay for what you get. In other words, I don’t pay anything. My pal Ravi hosts Annietown out of the kindness of his own heart and this is not what he does for a living. He has another living he has to do before he can make sure my living is in fact living and living well. So, what I’m trying to say is that shit happens all the time, so I apologize, but it looks like I am back. Hello!

You know I had all these grand plans for Annietown. The banner up there was done in Flash and upon roll over everything caught on fire. Like EVERYTHING. Which I thought was totally sweet. I kept on telling Mika, who drew all the cute animals, I WANT MORE FIRE. MORE MORE FIRE. EVERYTHING HAS TO BE ON FIRE. And she was like, you’re being ridiculous, it’ll look stupid, and I was like SHUT UP, I SAID MORE GODDAMN FIRE! There were also these cute little icons that were supposed to pop up whenever you rolled over the links over there <———-. But you know what? All that stuff is not up. Because I am lazy. And also because I don’t know how to do that stuff and must rely on Nathan to help me out but he too has another living he does before he can make my living totally awesome. So the whole point of this is that Annietown is alive. It needs a renovation. I would like a bigger kitchen, which would go really well with a bigger apartment. But hey, listen, I’m not complaining. I’ve got my health, friends, family, and air conditioning.

I spent Friday night at the Apple Store trying to get my keyboard fixed. My Apple Care expired about two weeks ago, so, of course, nothing was covered. Luckily it was just the keyboard that had the issue and not anything else. So somehow my computer was spared from actual water damage to the hard drive. I don’t think i could’ve survived another hard drive failure. Anyway the replacement keyboard cost only $40. I’m like sweet, I can totally pay that. I am very happy and pleased even though the genius helping me is kind of smug. They are always smug. You know those PC vs Apple commercials? The PC guy is John Hodgman and the Apple guy is some snarky know-it-all hipster douchebucket? Well I happen to like the PC guy way better. John Hodgman is the shit. I’d buy a PC if they didn’t suck more than Macs.

So anyway the keyboard was only $40 which might be the cheapest thing Apple actually makes. Like even the iPod cozies are more expensive. But then the labor charges…were $85. DUDE!!!!! $85! I was like, why can’t I just BUY the keyboard from you and install it myself for $0. I mean seriously you do not have to be an APPLE GENIUS wearing a shirt that says “Not all superheroes wear capes” (that is actually what they wear by the way) to install a stupid keyboard. You literally take it off, and then plug the new one in. But they don’t do that. You can’t just buy the part and walk away. No. They want to do it themselves because they are “geniuses.” I’m like listen, an idiot can do this. An idiot like me. I don’t think I should pay anyone $85 for something a monkey could do. I mean I could even get a monkey to do it FOR FREE and in five minutes or less. The genius says they run “tests” to make sure it’s working properly. I’m like, what tests could you possibly run on a keyboard? Yo mean like TYPING? Gasp! And maybe opening up a document and typing? Oh that is really advanced genius-level crap. Please let me pay you $100 for all your trouble and your genius skills. So then with the powers of my CHARMS they agreed to not charge for the labor only because my Apple Care had expired two weeks before. Oh how gracious of them.

But then it took them THREE HOURS. I got there at 7:30 and they were closed by the time they finished it. Ugh. I’m like JUST GIVE ME THE GODDAMN PART I WILL DO IT.

So I have a new keyboard. I am never drinking water again.

You know how earlier today I posted about how I spilled water on my computer but MIRACULOUSLY things were ok?

Well. They’re not.

The keyboard is totally messed up, as is the touch pad I think. The bottom keys don’t work at all (I’m using an external keyboard right now). So now I have to go to the APPLE STORE and get a new keyboard. But that means I have to schedule an appointment with a “genius” because I think I still have Apple Care on this assbag but I’m not sure. I really really hate Macs. But I also really really hate PCs. People hear me whine about this all the time. If you can get SIXTEEN kinds of sugar from the store and all of it comes from the same stupid plant, why can’t we have 16 options for computers? Anyway this isn’t nearly as bad as the HARD DRIVE failure from a few months ago. I am backing up now. I suggest you all do the same.

So there you go. Sadness everywhere. It surrounds me. I should never ever drink water again.

In other news, RT, an old classmate who now lives in Minneapolis, is a very crafty kind of lady, in addition to being a kick-ass writer. I believe when I first met her I thought to myself, Oh my god she is totally student class president. Not the popular annoying one, but the ambitious one that wants to change things for the better and you are like oh man you are making us look bad please go away. But the she did go away, to stupid Minneapolis. God I hate her.

Anyway, as I was saying, the lady is crafty, which means she makes things with her hands. Like things involving needles and I don’t mean like shooting up or anything. She has created a bag NAMED AFTER ME! Sweet! I am going to buy it because it’s literally my bag. But for those girls who like a good tote, this is it.

I saw Transformers on Tuesday night and I have to say, it really fulfilled every need. If you

A) like robots
B) like cars
C) like planes
D) like robots turning into cars and planes
E) like things that go boom and catch on fire

then you won’t be disappointed. I am totes serious as the kids say. If you are expecting some kind of earth-shattering statement on politics and technology and the human race, you will also not be disappointed. Meaning that the Earth actually shatters in the movie so that is kind of cool. And there is also some kind of statement on politics and technology and the human race but I don’t know what that was because I was too busy FOCUSING ON THE CARS TRANSFORMING INTO REALLY SWEET ROBOTS THAT BLOW SHIT UP. I kind of wish they had lasers but I mean they are only cars, that’d just be too extreme. (AS IN EXTREMELY COOL, DAMN YOU TRANSFORMERS.)

The editing was kind of crappy, not that I cared. I mean things were blowing up why am I even going there. Also the director recycles the same shot over and over from like all of his own movies, but whatever. Why am I even talking about that? THERE IS A ROBOT THAT TURNS INTO A TANK, WHO CARES. What really bummed me out was that the transformations didn’t really make mechanical sense like in the toys. It just looked like a big Rubik’s Cube and then ta-daaa robot! In the toys it was all cool to see that the wheels become the joints on Optimus Prime’s legs. Oh man I am totally geeking out here. But let me geek out some more:

I’m sad they didn’t get the actual voice actor for Starscream who was also the voice of the Cobra Commander in G.I. Joe. He didn’t really talk in the movie so there was no cheeky Deceptocon humor. They focused on the humans as if you know we care about them. DUDE ROBOTS COME ON.

Tonight I’m seeing I’m a Cyborg but That’s OK starring Rain, also known as the Justin Timberlake of Korea. The guy is unstoppable, I think he is out King of Popping the actual King of Pop in Asia. Anyway it’s directed by Park Chan Wook, so a romantic comedy seems a little off but probably pretty cool. But I am told there are no robots despite the title, which kind of bummed me out. But Rain is nice to look at. Rain if you are reading this I think we should go out because I bet my mom would be like totes into you.

My friend Aaron just got a new computer. It is FROM THE FUTURE, and by the looks of things I’d say that the FUTURE KICKS ASS and I cannot wait to get there. Seriously. I am waiting for it to happen but it’s all happening very slowly. This future thing can use a little speeding up. Note to future: HURRY UP. NEVER KEEP A LADY WAITING.

1. Aaron’s computer has drain holes.
If you spill coffee, it will drain nstead of frying up your hot jam. This is something that was designed with me in mind. IBM experts and engineers (from the future) actually sat down and thought, What would Annie need? How does she mess shit up everyday and how can we prevent her from messing shit up everyday? And the answer is DRAIN HOLES. If there is water or coffee or any other kind of liquid near me, it will wind up inside my computer. Or my keyboard. Or my mouse. I started drinking out of bottles instead of cups so I can limit the amount of equipment I destroy, but it still doesn’t do me any good. I need a sippy cup but that looks…really stupid at work.

2. Aaron’s computer has a roll bar.
This is like the SUV of laptops. There’s a roll bar and when the computer is falling it apparently KNOWS that it’s falling and locks up the harddrive. It knows! Like it’s thinking: Hey I’m falling, I better lock up my hot jam. Totally ridiculous, right? It’s also made with titanium so you can throw it out of a window or at a co-worker if it pisses you off. Apparently in the future, computers protect you from yourself. But also protects you from others.

3. Aaron’s computer would have the fingerprint reader if he spent a measly extra $30, but he decided to be cheap and now he is full of sorrow and regret.
You can get a fingerprint reader to log on to everything. So let’s say you want to log in to your mail or to MySpace or to a cool website like www.give-annie-a-bucket-o-cash-and-a-cookie.org. You can just swipe your finger on the mousepad. DUDE! It’s the future! Aaron, if you are reading this, you are a dork. Why are you scared of the future?

Of course, the future has some disadvantages. Aaron tells me his computer locks up once a day and yells at him and makes him feel bad about himself. Like it says “System Error! You are worthless and nobody loves you.” or “Contact your Administrator: You can stand to lose a few pounds.” or “Error: You are ugly. I hate you.” or “Fatal Error: No one respects you.” That’s tough. I guess in the future no one minces words. They just lay it all down. In the future, computers do not tolerate losers. Fair but strict.