New thing that is happening from inside my human body: When I walk, my left knee clicks. CLICKS. Loudly. Like it sounds like I’m wearing heels, except I am not and instead of it being from a heel, it is from a knee. Dude. Like click, click, click. It is SO annoying. Click, click, click. Can you imagine that sound following you wherever you go? I want to rip my knee out. And I can feel it too. Like some tendon or something ‘catches’ on a piece of bone and then I feel pressure build up and then it clicks. I will spare you the details. The point is, my body is making noises and it’s not coming from my mouth, nose, or butt, where is in general where all the noises should come from a human body. OK I guess I could add hands because you can clap and snap. You guys all know how fond I am of clapping and snapping. Hah. You know, no one ever says that. I LOVE clapping! It is not one of those things adults like to do. I cannot wait to go to the rock show so I can CLAP!

Speaking of rock show, my friend Luke Top opened for Peter Bjorn and John this weekend. Three SOLD-OUT ROCK shows, two in NY and one in Philly. Shows were great. Two other friends are in his band, Micah Calabrese (of Giant Drag, ex-Giant Drag, and now Giant Drag again) and Kangmin who is a man of few words but then when he talks it always blows your mind or makes you laugh. That is the opposite of what I do. I am one of many words, and only few blow your mind. My strategy is to machine gun an area and hope I hit the target, but in the process, I end up killing a lot of old ladies and children and the occasional seal pup. Anyway, I was trying to convince them to do rock squats and guitar solo back bends but they weren’t having it. I hate them. If YOU CAN’T DO A ROCK SQUAT ON STAGE WHAT IS THE POINT OF LIVING?

This is what I know: If I did a rock squat, my knee would probably give out.

I think, maybe just maybe, I am getting old. But it is hard to say.

For all you Bay Area Brawlaz–I will be interviewed on Upfront: Dispatches from the New Majorities on 91.7 KALW on your FM dial. The show will be on at 2:30 this Sunday. You can however listen to it LIVE on your computing device if you do not A) live in the Bay Area or B) own a radio. You may need to download a player of some kind, like RealAudio. I do believe they’ll have a podcast but it’s not up yet. I’ll hitch a link when it comes out. I’m about 3/4 way into the program, so grab a snack and pull up a chair.

I can tell you right now, I sound funny on the radio. It’s kind of weird to hear yourself. All I can think is, oh my GOD do I really sound like that? How do I even have friends with a voice like that? Seriously. It makes me rethink the whole talking thing.

And in other news: Come to KGB Bar on May 1 Tuesday at 7:20 to hear me read in person. KGB is located in the Village of the East in the fair City of New York, on Fourth Street between Avenue the Second and Avenue the Third. It’s on the second floor. There will be many kinds of adult beverages available. I’ll be reading with David Silverman and Darcey Steinke.

I plan on recording the show and putting it up on Annietown so if you plan on going, please bring friends and also LAUGH REALLY LOUDLY. Preferably in inappropriate moments.

At Barnes and Noble in Chelsea, I am on the shelf above Joan Didion, therefore, I am better than Joan Didion. I’m so glad everyone agrees with that.

This week’s Entertainment Weekly ran a review of my book - under the “New in Chick Lit” section. I don’t really feel that my book is chick lit at all, but that is where they put it. I got a B, which is a little disappointing because I am Asian and I really like getting A’s. I don’t know whether or not to tell my mother about the B because she’ll probably be like “B???? You not study hard enough!” But check this, A.M. Homes also got a B, so I’m at least as good as A.M. Homes. Not that this is a competition or anything, but JOAN AND A.M. IN YOUR FACE, NATCH!

JK JK JK JK

I will try to scan both the EW review and the Korea Daily profile so you can peep it and be knowledgeable in all things Annie. See? I work hard to keep the troops informed.

I did an interview today with Korea Daily News, which will be written in Korean, though I gave the interview in English because my Korean is embarrassing. Seriously, I’m only comfortable speaking in it with my family because they know exactly what I mean, even if I’m just spouting off nonsensical words.

“Fire on the table tennis! Three branches and a moth!”
“You hungry, Anne?”

See what I mean? It’s like I’M SPEAKING IN SECRET LANGUAGE.

Anyway the piece should run either Wed, April 4th or April 6th. Lots of choices there. Sukie Park is the name of the reporter, and she’s really awesome. She’s got gumption and integrity, I like that. You know what I don’t like? Gatorade. It tastes like sweat.

In other news: The book comes out tomorrow officially! Apparently it’s available in some bookstores, and a person named Anne who is actually NOT ME emailed to tell me she had purchased the book last week. Whatever. I am going to go to Barnes and Noble tomorrow and ask the clerk, HEY DO YOU HAVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY OR WHATEVER BECAUSE I HEAR IT’S LIKE A REALLY REALLY GOOD BOOK. WHOEVER WROTE IT IS A GENIUS. SOMEONE SHOULD GIVE HER A BUCKET OF CASH. AND A PONY.

Also reminder: Barnes and Noble Astor Place reading/Q&A/signing goes down on April 10 at 7:00 PM and there’s a party at Crocodile Lounge on 14th St between 1st and 2nd Ave. There will be FREE PIZZA.

I gave an interview with the literary journal + website Small Spiral Notebook and now you can peep it here. Do I sound like a douche? I can’t tell. Probably. It’s hard to talk about writing without sounding douchey. Also my author’s photo is really kind of awful. In the rest of the photo I am actually RIDING A HORSE. One of those cheesy ones outside of supermarkets. But they had to cut it all off so I could fit in a square and now it’s just my silly face without the silly horse. Trapped in a square.