150 Watts!
Monday, March 28th, 2011My friend and bandmate Andy and his wifelady have purchased a home. It is a nice home in a nice neighborhood where everyone has a dog. We’re talking the kind of dogs that don’t fit inside purses. They are beefy dogs that could take down a squirrel if they weren’t so busy getting their bellies scratched by me (Who’s a good buddy? You are! You are!) In my neighborhood, the dogs are all wee and you see people with these rats strapped to their chests in a Baby Bjorn. Or you see people pushing their dogs in a stroller. That whole thing disgusts me. Fills me with rage. I know I’ve harped on this before, but until this problem goes away, I’m going to keep talking about it. I’d apologize but I wouldn’t mean it.
Anyway, Casa BuMu has a basement. The real kind of basement that has no windows. This is what Andy calls the “man cave.” This is where Andy and I will do manly things like shred on guitars and keys and bass and then do some karate kicks in the air and maybe throw some ninja stars to really meet our full badass potentials. This is where I will turn the amps to FULL ROCK and wail and do guitar solo backbends until I throw my back out because, let’s face it, I’m getting old. Sometimes my ass gets sore from sitting. From sitting, dude. It’s exactly what your ass is built for, and it can’t even do that anymore.
So in order for us to shred, I needed a new amp. We go on Craigslist and find a MONSTER amp for a reasonable price. It is 150 watts of melt-your-face power. This amp is in Bay Ridge, which is deep, deep in Brooklyn. When I think Bay Ridge, I think of thick accents and aluminum siding and, for some reason, awnings. Turns out, all these things are true. The man who sells it to us has to be the greatest man alive. NO, I mean that. No one is greater. This is because he is wearing a Van Halen cap. The year is 2011 and he is still wearing a Van Halen cap. He is keeping it alive and he is keeping it real. Also, his apartment smelled like weed and air freshener, but I suppose that is obvious. I asked to try out the amp and he hooks it up his behemoth keyboard and starts playing some savage rock riffs. Think of the band Yes. And not like “Owner of a Lonely Heart” Yes. Think, like, “Roundabout” Yes. NOTE: In order to watch this, you will need
1. a cape
2. a sexy o-face
3. a high tolerance for ‘jamming’
4. another cape because you may or may not rock the first one off
OH MY GOD YOU’RE WELCOME.



