Annietown

D.C. and also Service Areas, a Review

The reading at Olsson’s was fun and in addition very fun, so thanks to everyone who came out and showed their support. Special thanks to Alston, Tim, Ralphie, and Mimsy for letting me crash at their apartment. Olsson’s is a kick ass bookstore so if you live in our nation’s capital or the environs you should buy your bound goods from them. They have a killer stock and they’re hosting some ninja writers this month. DO IT. What is even more awesomulent is that I read there and they are not going out of business, so that is a plus.

I think that the service areas in Maryland are rather nice. Conversely, the service areas in Delaware are NOWHERE TO BE FOUND. Instead of gas stations, Delaware decided everyone should pay tolls just to drive across their state. Also New Jersey, it’s big. Also they do not let you pump your own gas so if you want to feel like a real celebrity, go to New Jersey. Anyway I don’t mean to harsh on Delaware, it is after all the “First State.” That’s much better than “Taxation without representation.” I do have a friend from Delaware, so apparently people do live there. They also have tax free shopping, that is what the billboards promised me anyway.

Annietown + Beantown

Thanks to everyone who came out to Barnes and Noble in Boston despite the Red Sox game messing it up for the people on the streets. And thanks especially to Andy who let me crash at his place and eat all of his Cheerios. Seriously. Why is cereal so delicious? Cereal, I love you. Why must you be so expensive? Why won’t you love me back?

On Monday I head out to the District of Columbia for a reading at 7:00. Please, if you know anyone in the D.C. area, force them to go to Olsson’s. I promise delicious and warm, pleasing vittles (i.e. MY KNOWLEDGE).

I love L.A. (We love it!)

Last night I read at Barnes and Noble in Santa Monica and it kicked some monster ass, which is fitting since I am on my MONSTERS OF MEMOIR SOLD OUT 2007 TOUR. Thanks to Guns n’ Roses and Usher for opening. I have to admit it harshed my nerves a bit to read in front of my family, and I tried to choose a piece that they weren’t in too much, which is actually impossible since the book is about them, so I read from “Period Piece” which is, uh, about my period and pretty embarrassing and while I was reading it I was thinking OH MY GOD WHY AM I READING THIS WHY NOT SOMETHING ELSE, MAYBE SOMETHING BETTER, MAYBE SOMETHING BY DAVE EGGERS PEOPLE REALLY LIKE HIM. Anyway, thanks to everyone who came out. Also note to self: Do not drink coffee right before you read. I could feel the caffeine in my blood. In fact my blood was asking for some half and half and two sugars.

I got some good news: I just saved money on my car insurance. No wait, there’s other news too. We did a second printing of 1,500 yesterday, bringing the grand total up to 15,700. Basically, my parents bought 1,500 of them last night. They were all 20% off so they were very pleased. Everyone likes a good sale, right? Come on, it’s 20% off. Now there’s no excuse for you not to buy it. So thanks to everyone who bought a book. And to those who didn’t: I hate you. No wait, I am just totes kidding as the kids say.

A Sad Honor

Thanks to all who came out to Cody’s last night. They’re closing on April 20, so everyone go and buy something and say farewell and make peace with the store. Cody’s is a solid bookstore and when the one on Telegraph closed, I think a little piece of me died. And then it was replaced by RAGE AND FURY. Now the San Francisco store is going under. It hasn’t been there that long which makes it even more depressing. Like it never had a shot to begin with. There’s a Border’s around the corner. Anyway, it was a great reading and Cody’s has this cool tradition where the readers/authors write book recommendations in this notebook. I wanted to flip through it and see what people had suggested. I kind of think people might have really bad taste or something, but you know if they had bad taste they’d just recommend someone everyone would agree with, like Mark Twain. Who doesn’t like Mark Twain? I hate him, he was such a jackass. JK JK JK JK

Last night after the reading I hung out with a high school classmate I haven’t seen in a hundred years, plus or minus a few years. Anyway her nickname was the Deerslayer because she hit a deer with her car. There was blood and tufts of hair and everything. Kind of awesome, right? No? I’ve never actually hit a deer, but once I hit a rabbit and I knew it was probably suffering, so I turned the car around and psyched myself up so I could “finish the job” but I couldn’t find it. I also ran over a rattlesnake. California man, it’s a jungle.

Oh yeah, Oakland

Thanks to everyone who came out to Oakland last night! I saw some people I haven’t seen in like, oh maybe TEN YEARS, including some high school friends and old Berkeley housemates. Sarah Baig who is now Sarah Stevenson because she married some guy whose last name I presume is Stevenson, funny how that works, gave me some pictures from when we were in college. Holy crap. I’m going to BURN THESE RIGHT NOW before they get into the hands of some evildoers. If anyone’s doing evil, I rather it be me, thanks. Anyway she has green (blue?) hair and I have purple hair. Look how edgy we are! So alternative! Look at me! Look at how special I am! I made bad choices with my hair! Heather, a college roommate, had an architect license exam the next day and she still made it out because she is so hardcore and in addition awesome. And tall.

Tonight I’m reading at Cody’s in San Francisco. FYI: Cody’s is closing its doors next week. Reading in a store that’s about to go under belongs in the “Wow that sucks” department. Other things from the “Wow that sucks” department: my mother called me at 7:51 am this morning and wondered why I was still sleeping. And something from the “Wow that sucks or maybe it’s awesome” department: Hall and Oates. Jared just put on every Hall and Oates song back to back. How do I feel about this? Conflicted. Very conflicted.

Thanks, New York!

Thanks to everyone who came down to Barnes & Noble Astor Place last night. It kicked major ass to see everyone there and all I could think while I was reading was OH MY GOD THIS PIECE IS SO BORING I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M READING THIS even though my mouth was shaping all the words on the page. In my head was ABORT MISSION ANNIE ABORT! ATTENTION THIS ESSAY SUCKS AND WHY ARE YOU STILL READING IT? WHY DIDN’T YOU PICK A DIFFERENT ONE? I can blame that on Mr. John Morrison. That’s the last time I let him make a decision for me. The Croc Lounge was fun too–so much free pizza. The whole ironic part is that I go there all the time and can’t really eat pizza because I’m a lactard, but I enjoy others enjoy free pizza. I mean come on! It’s free! Very few things are free. Sometimes toothpicks are free, I guess.

My friend Erin is opening a new store on the lower east side, called Clarabella and I visited a few days ago and bought a SWEET bracelet. I mean it’s one of those things that you see and you are like OK I guess I’m buying it, it’s not really a choice. Anyway I looked at a necklace that I was sweet on and decided it was too expensive and didn’t get it. Erin, of course, being the horrible person that she is, gave me the necklace as a gift. AND THEN I PROCEEDED TO LOSE IT. I am such a dick, seriously. I looked everywhere and it pretty much harshed my mellow because I felt like such a jackass. Like hey Erin, thanks, your gift is so awesome I’m going to lose it now.

But then wait, WHAT’S THIS? I FOUND IT ON THE FLOOR AT THE BAR. So, guess what? I am a winner. winner = me. I am very happy now.

I’m headed off to the Bay Area to read in Oakland and in San Francisco. If you’re reading and you live in the area, stop by, say hi.