It is with great sadness that I report SCandynavian, our mildly loved Scandinavian candy store has closed. I walked past it today and noticed that the lights were off and all the candy had been removed from the bins. There was no techno, no strawberry race cars that taste like plastic, no sour apple frogs that do not taste like frogs. There was no sign saying that they had moved locations. So I bid them adjö and uh, however you say “good luck” in Swedish. I think it’s buena suerte. Yeah pretty sure it’s that.

But fret not NYC friends, if you want Scandinavian candy, might I suggest heading to Sockerbit (located in the Village of the West), which is another Swedish candy store. Yeah I know, right? Why there was more than one Scandinavian candy store in NYC, I don’t even know. Of course, you can go to IKEA and get candy there.

Speaking of IKEA, I totally went there yesterday and bought $100 of crap that I obviously needed so badly, like the hand towel with the ping pong paddles on them. I mean how am I not gonna buy that? I don’t even like ping pong, but I definitely needed it or else the the hand towel with the wacky puffer fish on it would feel so lonely. Hand towels always travel in pairs because if you’re lucky, you have two hands, so obviously you need two hand towels. I also totally needed the bath mat that is too big for my bathroom floor. And needed the salt grinder because salt’s not gonna grind itself, you guys.

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