Shut Up, Watch This, You’re Welcome

I made a POWERPOINT for Shut Up, You’re Welcome. Warning: Contains sandwiches. Featuring guests Tom Selleck (duh) and pancakes (obviously).

This could be the only Powerpoint you ever enjoy ever. Somewhere there’s a new employee orientation going on and people are sad because they are watching a Powerpoint that isn’t this one. I happen to love Powerpoint. Fucking love it. All the default text swooshes and spins and boomerangs and “reveals” are totally hilarious, and as I made this I thought, Who actually uses this shit? I mean except for me? But then I realized that tons of people do, just because they can. Then that made me really sad. The “helpful tips” guide in Powerpoint advises you to not “over-animate” texts and images because it can be distracting. So then I thought THEN WHY DID YOU PROVIDE THE OPTION TO DISTRACT PEOPLE? Oh Microsoft.

The sad part about this is that it took me FOREVER. Because Microsoft. One would think you could just export a Powerpoint to a video. BUT YOU WOULD BE MISTAKEN. Because Microsoft. No joke, this took me 4 programs to create. But the good news is that if you have questions about Powerpoint, I can answer it and basically tell you it can’t do the thing you want it to do.

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