SORRY also I’VE BEEN BUSY
So it’s been over a month since I’ve last blogged. I know, I know, you hate me. Listen, I get it. I know how you feel. Sometimes I’m looking at a blog and I’m refreshing and refreshing and nothing is updating and I’m like DUDE WHY ISN’T THERE MORE FUNNY SHIT ON HERE FOR ME TO READ. And of course I’m reading Annietown when this is happening so it shouldn’t be surprising and YET IT IS.
But the good news is that I’ve been busy working on Book 2. I wanted to title it Number Two (as in poop, get it? Get it? No wait, I don’t think you get it) but everyone except me said it was a bad idea. So now it’s titled Letters to You and All Your Friends: [Subtitle goes here]. The manuscript is due in ERMAGERD THREE WEEKS WHY AM I EVEN ALIVE. Book comes out next summer! So I’ve been hitting it hard, the way Gary Busey hits the sauce. True story: I once saw the Buse in the ‘Bu (Malibu) and he was sitting there at the Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf with these ridiculous orange wrap-around glasses and white cargo pants (Srsly!). And someone went up to him and was like, Yo Gary Busey, how you been? And he was all, “busy, man, real busy.” And I’m like O RLY?
Also cargo pants: I do not trust pants with that many pockets. Why not just carry a purse and get it over with? I promise you will not be less of a man, only a man with less pockets.
At that same Coffee Bean & Tea Leaf I almost ran over Pierce Brosnan. I was in high school. So one could say that I almost killed James Bond.
So my friends, I am alive and if you are reading this, you are alive too. In that sense we have a lot in common. I’ve been busy but wanted to tell you all that I miss you. And I will leave you with this, from our friend Bob. He took it on Imja Island where there are tulips and this: