You without me is like cornflakes without the milk.
You should watch this. You should watch the whole thing because you have to watch the whole thing.
Lessons learned here:
1. Oran Juice Jones can rock a pair of pleated slacks like a boss. But no one knows what he is wearing under his (silk/poly blend) trenchcoat.
2. If you are Oran Juice, a trio of doo-woppers follow you around and act out the song with their hands, like how a kindergartener would do in music class.
3. Lynx stolls cost $3700! Fucking lynx! I’m pretty sure there are like three left. The fourth is in my mom’s closet. Truth: My mother has a lynx coat from Way Back When, but she doesn’t wear it because SHE LIVES IN LOS ANGELES where it’s like 80 everyday. We’re not sure what to do with it.
4. I find that using your foot to shove clothes into a suitcase is highly effective and also shows that You Do Not Give a Shit ™.
5. You should cut a girl’s credit cards if she has wronged you. It will teach her to manage her finances better.
6. Oran Juice is a man who takes cereal very seriously and I respect that. Cereal is hard. Oran Juice is harder. And of course it goes without saying that both cereal and Oran Juice are part of a balanced breakfast.
7. If you are poor, you wear t-shirts and leggings. LOOK HOW POOR SHE IS OMG IS THAT A T-SHIRT??? And look at that, she’s WALKING on a STREET like some kind of asshole. Oh the indignity! The real shame is that she’s wearing leggings as pants.
8. I would like a black silk robe. But I would like to change into it all of the sudden just like Oran Juice.
9. If you are Oran Juice, you can actually just do a dramatic skit at the end and never go back to the music video. BECAUSE YOU CAN. YOU ARE ORAN JUICE FUCK YOU, WORLD. TAKE IT.
10. “It’s my world. You’re just a squirrel trying to get a nut.” I’m like 40% sure “nut” is code for his testicles, either the left or right one. Both are extremely large and volatile.
11. SPOILER ALERT: HE DOES NOT BEAT THE GIRL. I guess I am OK with that.
Thanks Mike Watanabe for showing me that the juice is indeed loose, on my face.