The elephants who live upstairs (specifically, on top of my head) had an elephant party where they invited other elephants to come and practice Irish river dance and also Dutch clogging and Spanish flamenco. These elephants happen to be very international. It is like a United Colors of Benetton, except with elephants. This jolly festival of dance (pronounced dahnse) was accompanied by shouts of OH MY GOD I’M SO DRUNK AND I HAVE TO GO TO WORK TOMORROW TEE HEE HA HA HA, which was also accompanied by a steady stream of WOOO HOOOs. No doubt it was a celebration of all things great including, but not limited to, tits, ass, and X-box 360. This fiesta was brought to you by Bud Light Platinum–how that is different from regular Bud Light I don’t know. Urine tastes like urine, am I right? It’s not like you taste urine and go OH YEAH THIS IS SOME BALLER URINE RIGHT HERE, VERY PLATINUM IN FLAVOR AND PERSONALITY. I hate Bud Light. It makes no sense to me. Actually I hate any food or beverage that ends in “Light.” Like Crystal Light.