Cup of the World
World Cup begins this week. I do not know anything about soccer. I don’t. Seriously. I know that the ball is black and white. I know that people chase this ball and that other people chase the people with the ball. I know there’s a net with someone in front of it. I know at some point, a bunch of bros line up in front of this net and cover their testicles with their hands. I don’t know why they do this because from what I understand, people are aiming the ball at the net, not at testicles. But what do I know? I don’t know anything about soccer. Oh, but I do know that many of these players are rather good looking gentlemen who are much younger than I am, not that there’s a problem with that. Nope, no problem at all.
Here is something else I know: I love to bet money on sports I know nothing about. Interestingly, I love to bet money, and yet I hate to lose money. And I often lose money because I don’t know anything about sports. This creates a situation. A situation in which I lose money and have complicated feelings of anger, confusion, loss, regret, despair among others. I should also mention that I hate losing. Maybe somewhere there are people who lose and think “It’s not about winning or losing, it’s about how you play the game.” You know what? Good for them. They are better than I am. I’m sure they floss every night and use ethical traps to capture and release mice. Listen, I’m not a good person. I like to WIN. I hate to LOSE. I want to DESTROY mice.
The point is, I have joined my friend’s World Cup pool. During the March Madness pool, I believe I came in second to last. It was truly madness. I was pretty mad, in fact. Mad that I WAS NOT A WINNER. DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM? I AM A WINNER. EVERYONE TELLS ME I AM A WINNER, LIKE FOR EXAMPLE, MY PARENTS. Actually that is a lie. My parents do not think I am a winner. Mostly because I have not produced human offspring and also because I am not a doctor.
So yes, World Cup soccer. Very exciting. I cannot wait to watch some games and HAVE NO IDEA what is going on. Sure, I could read about it on Wikipedia, or have one of you cats out there explain it to me. But, you know what? I’m ok this way. I love mystery. It’s tasty.
Sidenote: If there is an award for best username/handle, then I should win it. Because mine is Clam Scene Investigation.
If you want to see my picks and follow along at home, you can do so here. Send me your picks too!
are there pools where the person who comes in dead last win money? i think they should win too because that is just as unlikely to happen as coming in dead first. i am sure someone has thought of that already because it’s not like i’m an idea originator but no one i know has offered me that pool yet but i think it would be a good idea. just sayin’.
Weirdo: Ok I am down for that too. We can do a cheap pool to, for like $5. That’s USD! Let’s wait to see if others want to join. We can give dead last winner a dollar.
OR we could do dead last World Cup Pool.
Predictions: italy, argentina, brazil, england, germany = good. dark horse = ghana.
want to come in dead last in your pool, pick= south africa, although host fans promise to show up and blow annoying plastic vuvuzela horns thru final round of tournament.
BTW when did annietown become a sport book blog? Maybe always wuz one?….i just noticed.
You love Portugal. I knew it. And I like the way you have USA beating England and Slovenia but losing to Algeria. Positive thinking always. Saying Ghana are dark horses is a bit racist. Almost as bad as saying both Koreas are underdogs.
I am in for the pool, when, where and what I have to send you. I mean, the picks are only for the groups phase,right? like the ones you’ve made.
back again.
Jon: This is so NOT a sports blog. It is more like a person who knows nothing about sports happens to be blogging.
Renato: Of course I love Portugal. I only picked it because I know someone who lives there. If I didn’t, I’d probably just make them be in last place. Do you want to do this pool? I’ts only $5 USD which is like 1 euro.
Pedro: Yay! OK details to follow!
How does it work? And 5$ is more like 3€. Soon to be 30€.
How can you not give the Koreans the respect they deserve? Two different flavors of Korean and you only have them beating the Greeks?
Also, there’s a steak dinner between ambassadors riding on the UK/US match.
So if I want in, how can I get it on this hopeless gambling lark?
Renato, Dave, check out my latest post. You’ll find directions there. It was very very hard to gamble against my own people. But because I am Korean, I am also a jaded realist.
Also…the players are hawt.
B2: So totally hot.