A few nights ago I was walking in Chinatown/Lower East Side and passed by this sweet shop.

It is the Romantic Hair Art Center, Inc. If you want romantic hair, then this is where you would go. But wait, Annie, what is romantic hair?

Close your eyes. Now picture this, which will be difficult because you are reading this and cannot actually read this if your eyes are closed. So, uh, open your eyes, read this, and then close them, GOD do I have to tell you how to do everything? WTF. Now, think about the crystal clear, impossibly blue waters of the Caribbean. You are riding on a horse, galloping across the beach, with your hair being all romantic n’ shit. Maybe it’s trailing behind you in the wind or it’s piled on top of your head and little tendrils are falling down in that perfect way to frame your face and accent your high chiseled cheekbones. Sure, you might be a dude with short hair, but for this imagine you have really nice Fabio locks or something. Work with me here, people. Now the horse’s hair is being all romantic n’ shit too, it’s all waving around and silky smooth. I don’t know if you guys have ever touched a horse’s mane, but that shit is not silky. But let’s pretend it is. Later James Franco brings you cocktails, writes me a fat check to pay off my student loans, and then you shoot up because obviously you are Amy Winehouse rocking some serious romantic hair art.

I was very excited about perhaps going to this Romantic Hair Art Center, Inc. but then upon further observations, I read the fine print.

The fine print says that the Supreme Court of the State of New York has issued a restraining order to the Romantic Hair Art Center for practicing unlicensed massages AND PROSTITUTION.

Romantic indeed.

The real issue is why do all the good places shut down before I get to ‘check it out’?

This entry was posted on Monday, May 3rd, 2010 at 2:50 pm and is filed under NYC. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.