Star-Studded Birthday or Whatever
My good friend Chris celebrated a birthday over the weekend. We surprised him at a Japanese restaurant in midtown and then proceeded to get very, very drunk, which is a very, very downtown thing to do in midtown.
Perhaps the biggest surprise of the evening was the BEVY/PLETHORA/MYRIAD/GRIP of celebrities that showed up for Chris’s birthday!
This includes Karl! Lagerfeld! ZOMG!
I know everyone thinks Karl Lagerfeld is kind of a dick and a total megalomaniac and a diva and an old coot. And guess what? Everyone is right. Karl spent most of the night yawning and saying Japanese cuisine was “played out” and that “dee only people who do da Japanese right iz das French.” His words, not mine.
You know who else was there? Jay-Z. OMG WHO WANTS TO EFFING TOUCH ME?
He’s got 99 problems but a bitch ain’t one. Beyonce was not there. She apparently had better things to do, though I can’t really imagine what that could be. I mean come on. It’s Chris’s birthday. It comes once a year. Sometimes twice if you’re lucky and a little confused.
Karl and Jay-Z were a little embarrassed and perhaps a bit annoyed that they wore the same thing to dinner.
Actually a lot of people were there. Here let me show you:
From left to right we have: Grover, a bear wearing sunglasses, the HOVA, Karl, and Zidane.
You cannot see in the picture, but Zidane has a “blemish” on his lip. He says it was from head butting someone, but actually, upon closer inspection, it is a herpe. I know usually herpes travel in groups, therefore the use of the plural, herpes, but Zidane only had one herpe. I tried not to stare at it all night, but it’s hard. I mean he’s talking to you and the only thing coming out of his mouth is “Herpe herpe herpe, herpe! Herpe, herpe…herpe.”
Fact: Grover and Bunsen Honeydew were my favorite characters on Sesame Street. I was convinced that Bunsen was Asian, which is why I liked him. Yellowish, glasses, scientist. I mean come on. He’s a brother. My favorite Muppet was Waldorf and Statler, the crotchedy old dudes on the balcony who loved and then hated everything. I still relate to them.
Happy birthday, Chris!
OY! Have you read the book Hide and Seek with Grover?
It is quite a good read. So captivating. I loved him too, but I’ve always wanted to give Big Bird a big hug. Toss up between Big Bird and Grover. Although Grover’s name outdoes Big Bird’s. Hm. If you could have chosen your own name, what would it have been?
Hi “nameless”! Hrm I’m not sure what name I’d choose. Something exotic like Anastasia or something. Anastasia Choi sounds really horrible though. Like a fake name.
“They got a character on there named Oscar. They treat this guy like shit the entire show. They judge him right to his face. Oscar, you are so mean. Isn’t he kids? Yeah, Oscar you’re a grouch. He’s like bitch I live in a fucking trash can. I’m the poorest mother fucker on Sesame Street, nobody’s helping me.”
-Dave Chappelle