Attention NYC area peeps: Tonight it’s Pecha Kucha from 4-7 at Cooper Union (in the Great Hall). It benefits Architecture for Humanity’s efforts in Haiti. $15, but suggested donation of $20.

What is Pecha Kucha? Each speaker presents 20 slides but gets only 20 seconds to present each slide–the slides move on with or without him or her. It’s fun and awesome and if the presenter sucks, it’s guaranteed to be short anyway, so no big deal.

Tonight’s line-up is JAM PACKED WITH ARCHITECTS. This may scare you. That is, SCARE YOU WITH AWESOMENESS! The program is full of heavy hitters: Stan Allen, Jesse Reiser, Steven Holl, Gregg Pasquarelli, Paul Lewis etc. There’ll be black sweaters and expensive eyewear and good times. This is a great chance to see what people are working on. For example, Paul Lewis is working on his double McTwist 1280. Stomp it!

Check it here:

http://pecha-kucha.org/night/new-york/9

Come tonight! I’m helping out in some capacity, working the door maybe? Come say hi. It’s for a great cause.

I hope that the next Pecha Kucha benefits a cure for OLYMPIC FEVER.

Thanks to Marco for organizing the event!

I just had a very sad day of flying. It snowed A FOOT in Dallas/Fort Worth, which messed up the airports. Plus Texans are like what is this white stuff y’all and it’s like yo, buddy, it’s SNOW but you don’t have to DRIVE THREE MILES PER HOUR IN IT. I mean seriously, Texas. It’s snow. It’s not like small Chinese orphans lining the street. You can actually drive on TOP of it and no one will die. However, I have to say Texans are like the nicest people. Everyone was saying hi and thank you and it was just totally off putting. I was like no one has told me to fuck off in two days I feel a little lost. I need a hug. And a swift kick in the nads.

It also snowed a thousand feet in NYC, so it messed up those airports. I happened to be flying through Dallas to go to NYC so I was double punched. Pow! Pow! So what that means is that I spent a lot of quality time at the airport and then spent quality time on the runway. And then we spent quality time in the plane while it was getting de-iced. And then I spent quality time in a cab sitting in traffic. So much quality, you guys. It was restaurant quality, in fact.

The cabbie was UNREAL though. We were sitting in traffic because, hello, it’s rush hour and before a three-day weekend, and I was trying my best to direct him around according to the Google Maps traffic fairies and the dude just blows up. Laying on his horn, yelling at people, yelling at ME because it’s obviously my fault that everyone wants to leave NYC over Prez Day weekend. And then, we’re on the streets and there’s this fire engine trying to back up into its garage and the cabbie flips out and is laying on the horn. AT THE FIRE ENGINE. I was like dude, it’s a fire engine! And it’s like one of those firehouses where half the guys died in the towers on 9/11 too so there’s always flowers and candles and photosin front of the firehouse so the cabbie is looking like an even bigger monster prick. I was totally embarrassed. So I was like come on, just let the dudes park their truck, it’ll take five minutes, tops, and then he totally ignored me and kept on laying on the horn. What I mean to say is that the cabbie was not projecting a very positive image.

So now I’m home.

What a better way to relax than watch some shiba inu puppies! Warning: You may squeal.

For Christmas this year, I got a soprano ukulele. This brings my total ukulele count up to TWO. Which is probably TWO MORE than what the average person has. My ukes are SHRED TASTIC. Sometimes I play it with my FACE because it adds this extra layer of shredly metal.

Anyway, reader Karl just sent me this! I’ve watched it, like, four times already. Not even joking. It is combination of sweet, sweet puppets, ukes, a melodica (which I also have, actually), and a random beach setting in Japan. All things lead to SWEET SWEET SHREDDING OF THE EARHOLES:

My acupuncturist is Japanese and said something very funny awhile ago: “You know the Japanese, we see people having fun and we want to have fun too. But we’re Japanese so we want to have MORE fun.” Haha I love her, she just says it like it is. Then, she stabbed me with the needle. (Speaking of which, NYC peeps in need of a really awesome acupuncturist, email me. And ladies: This will do wonders on the lady-bits. I’m telling you, I’m not really into this hippie-dippie shit, but the lady-bits are in a fine state these days. Even I cannot deny it. I’m for serious! No, no, no you shut up!)

OK, I bring this up because my friend Stephanie Choi (no relation, but is the other half of our “band,” Choi Division) sent me something very, very righteous. It is the Japanese version of the SNUGGLIE and here it is:

It is like EXTREME SNUGGLIE. An EXTREME Snugglie that makes a bold, bold statement: “Hi America, It’s, me Japan, and I TOTALLY PWND YOU.” This makes other Snugglies look like a regular blanket without sleeves. It might even make other Snugglies look like a stupid cloth napkin. I’m foreseeing some serious Snugglie proliferation. Like…a Snugglie Cold War, if you will. Now America has to step up and find the next generation of Snugglie.

Canada will try to get in on the action, but no one will care. Everyone will be like, get out of our sandbox Canada! Go be polite and enjoy your national health care somewhere else. This is for big kids!

The Europeans will, as usual, laugh at this but secretly want it. I mean look at that thing! It’s a COCOON of AWEZOME.

I can’t wait for the Snugglie with wifi.

Hello, friends. It is very very cold here. I know there is some place that is colder and someone will say oh yeah? I live in Anarctica and it’s a lot colder here, quit complaining you rancid whore, you have it so good. But that still doesn’t change the fact that it’s cold here. It “feels like 12F” if you believe the rancid whore that is the Weather Channel.

The bad part is that my landlord turns off the heat at night for several hours because he, too, is a rancid whore. And also cheap. A cheap, rancid whore. But apparently this is legal, which means somewhere someone is responsible for making these wack laws and when I find this person I am going to deliver a very severe and savage beatdown. I would like this person to live in my apartment. I would also like my neighbors to have really loud and obnoxious sex without using their curtains just so this person can truly understand what it is like to be me in my apartment. It is a sorry state of affiars in cold windy Annietown.

I actually wrote to my public advocate regarding the heating laws and the rent stabilization laws last year and all I got back was a form letter saying hey, we received your letter, sweet bro. And that was it. But now like every other week I get re-election flyers. They don’t have time to look into every request or letter, sure, but it’s a little insulting to get re-election stuff saying shit like “we care about you and your community and your rights blah blah issues blah blah concerns blah blah let’s make our communities better one block at a time blah”. Like, how about you shut up ans get us some heat, narch! I am not so sure my public advocate is even doing anything other than trying to get re-elected.

It’s kind of like when I finished graduate school. I got my first loan payment notice the same day I got a letter asking me to donate to the school. Like, dudes. I owe you over $50k. I am not going to just GIVE you more money just to be nice. I’m not that nice. I am, in fact, poor. Go away.

The good news is that I still owe a lot of money! Yay!