Deja Vu
I’m here blogging live again from San Francisco International Airport. My plane isn’t here and I’m supposed to be in the air right now, but a lady has told me we will still make it to NYC on time. She is OBVIOUSLY A LIAR. That is what SFO is filled with: lies and tears. There’s also a Starbucks. There’s also a couple seriously necking in the corner. Pretty gross. Like dudes. Come on. I think he’s going to swallow her face, I’m a little worried.
In other news, I ate a burrito yesterday. I remember it like it was yesterday.
The wedding was great and now there’s one more to go and then I AM NEVER GOING TO ONE EVER AGAIN. Ok fine. I’m lying. But that’s what happens when you are at San Francisco International Airport. Lies. So many lies. I can’t take it anymore.
I am really looking forward to sitting on a plane riding in the bitch seat. For six hours.
Hint: that was another LIE!! I’m out of control!!! Oh dear god no!!!
“That is what SFO is filled with: lies and tears.”
WTF? Not Ghirardelli Chocolate and Boudin Sourdough Bread?
Constant striving for improvement;it’s the way you are; it’s the way you were made.
Take this afternoon, for example: Randall, the Twin Pines Trailer Ranch manager, comes by unexpectedly just as you’re arriving home with supplies from the Piggly Wiggly. “What’s with all the noise coming from Linda’s trailer? he asks pointedly. “They can hear that racket from way over there in Trailer Number 4. What in the world are you doing in there all day and night?”
Of course, you have no intention of telling him that you’ve spent the last 3 days dismembering your girlfriend, Linda and forcing her piecewise down the Insinkerator. That would be giving away too much. “Linda’s dog has the mumps. It makes him howl real bad”, you explain, still cradling a grocery bag in each arm.
Later, in the back of the patrol car, you learn that you’d made a grievous error with your explanation. Turns out that the Twin Pines Trailer Ranch Lease Agreement specifically prohibits the keeping of dogs anywhere within the limits of the park. Naturally, Linda had signed the lease long before you drifted into town and the Manager had insisted on inspecting the trailer, immediately, just like it says he can in the lease.
It’s a bummer and you’re mad, sure, but you quickly forgive yourself. How could you have known? Yet, being the type that learns from his mistakes, as soon as you can get your hands free, you’ll insert a “Review Miscellaneous Contracts” line in your checklist.
“Better ev’ry day in ev’ry way”, is your motto!