Houdini
My good friend Karina lives in Brooklyn and has this backyard where feral cats just roam where they please. Totally not a problem. Karina traps them and then gets them spayed/neutered and then either tries to find homes for them if they can live alongside human mammals or ‘releases them back in the wild.’ The Wilds of Brooklyn.
So the other day she started seeing this cat that had a rope tied around its middle. Pretty tightly. So tight, in fact, that the beast had a big gash from it. The cat was not in good shape. So, Karina trapped the beast, and took it to the vet. He sewed her up and said the cat was most likely PITBULL BAIT.
DUDES. PEOPLE. STOP BEING ASSHOLES.
I know we raise cows and all that to eat. Yes, it’s cruel. It’s horrible. But to go through the trouble of training dogs to be complete killing machines because you can exploit their ability to follow orders and please their owners is a real dick move. Most of those dogs die, and probably not from wounds, but from infections. Which is a horrible way to go. I much rather get shot then die slowly of gangrene. But then to use a cat to tie it to a stake somewhere to get your pooch all riled up is like adding another layer of assholery I don’t even get. A lot of cultures have some kind of cruel animal fighting thing. But a lot of cultures also have that folktale where a kid kills a little bird and the dad is all, dude, you killed a bird, why would you do that? It can’t feed a family, you are a dick, etc. One of those harsh life lessons about mortality and precious life blah blah blah. There’s no Native American folktale where the kid trains dogs to fight and dad is like GREAT JOB KID HIGH FIVE.
Anyway this cat escaped, probably by chewing through the rope. The vet’s office made Karina name it, so she called it Houdini. While at the vet, Houdini got spayed. So now it’s recovering.
She is pretty cute. Looks like she got ink on her face. Karina can’t keep Houdini because her husband is more or less deathly allergic. He is in my top five most unhealthiest friends. Seriously. He might be number two, after my friend Doug who’s allergic to anything made up of atoms. Neither here nor there.
Right now, Houdini’s in a cage at Karina and John’s, shaking and cowering. Karina can pet her head and touch her nose and the cat appears to sniff her. The choices now are to release her back into the wild after she recovers or find a home. But it’s not clear whether she’s a domestic cat that just got Admiral Shaft or if she is feral. She’s not hissing or snapping, but she’s also in some kind of strange comatose state of fear. Anyway, the ideal situation is to find a home, if the cat seems domesticated. But she wouldn’t be a very cat-like cat. I mean she could eventually, hopefully. But she probably needs a home with patient and sensitive owners.
I’d take her but if you saw my apartment you’d think she was better off living in a cage. So there you go.
If you’re interested, email me.
So the cat was tethered to coach ferocity, yet miraculously escaped. Her wiles could only take her so far. Although she lived, she always felt bound by forces outside of her control. A kind and gentle lady took pity on the little Houdidi, showing her concern by removing some of Houdini’s lady parts, then placing her in a cell just narrower than the length of her tiny body and filling the the voids with stories of drug rings, surging wars, and apparent pictures of Billy Idol. We all hope that Houdini will soon be locked in a much larger cluster of cells with glass panels, so she may watch as the free go about their daily processes and bat her paws hopelessly upon the glass. It is a fine line between sympathy and empathy, and we are a strange breed to walk it.
It’s hard not to be impressed with a cat that reads wall Street Journal. Seriously Houdini. Should we be trading Purina One stock?
I can’t take her (I live in DC, and also have the most dickish cat ever), but is Karina taking donations or does she have a favorite animal-related charity? I’d love to do something for that poor cat, even if only indirectly.
Also people are tools, what the hell?
Little Houdini is still healing, but still needs to have limited mobility. Because of her infection, she has to stay indoors and on antibiotics for the next few weeks. She may a slight limp from her wounds after she recovers. Other than that, she’s young and healthy and I’m hoping she’ll be adoptable. So far all signs point to her being friendly, but she’s too doped up to really tell.(It’s better if she is adopted. Feral cats around here have rough, sad lives and many are being displaced or sent to the shelter as all the new condos go up in my neighborhood: Williamsburg. Boo,gentrification.)
I’ve trapped a lot of feral cats and usually only the kittens are adoptable. The older cats prefer to live outside, so they are trapped-neutered-released (TNR). It’s a much better alternative than them spending the rest of their life in a cage since they’re usually too feral adopted. Here’s some information about TNR if you’re interested: http://bit.ly/do9ry Neighborhood Cats is a great organization and worthy of any donations.
Also, when Houdini isn’t busy reading the Wall Street Journal, she enjoys listening to classical music and brushing up on her French.
Sometimes when I think you are hard as nails, Annie Choi, you post something like this and I know that you are really a big softie, trapped in a sarcastic state of play.:) Either way I dig you. Not in a girl-on-girl way, but still. You did a nice thing for this pretty cat.
Thanks Karina. I’ll definitely be looking into Neighborhood Cats!
What a sweet baby! If I didn’t already have two of my own I’d take her.
Trapped-Neutered-Released sounds like my friend Brad’s first marriage.
Aww……poor little thing.
People are amazing, and people are horrible. I hope this kitty only encounters the amazing kind from now on.
As of today, Houdini purrs and rolls over on her back so you can pet her all over. She really, really likes to be scratched around the ears even though she’s still a little gun-shy.
Hopefully, if she passes all of her blood tests, she’ll be adopted this weekend and go onto a fabulous new life with an awesome dude who has 3 other cats and a sweet indoor/outdoor setup on Long Island. I think Houdini just won the lottery.
Thanks to everybody who sent positive vibes and a big thanks to Dr. Annie Choi who makes cats’ dreams come true when she’s not curing world hunger.
Mutherfukking assholes. How can people do these things? How can anyone look at that and think it’s okay?
I am happy to hear that Houdini is healing, warming up to peoples, and has a new home to soak up the love. Yay for happy endings. Um. You know.
A terrible situation. Sometimes people astound and shock me but I do believe there are more good people than bad in this world. Houdini certainly deserves a good home.