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Is 09-09-09 over because I am over it. Listen. It’s going to happen once a year until 12-12-12. We’ve been doing it since 01-01-01. And by “doing it” I mean doing the sex making act haha jk jk jk. But not jk about the 090909 part.
I’m now in San Francisco. In the airport. My flight arrived an hour early so I’m now waiting for my ride, Dr. Jared, to pick me up and feed me Mexican food. Dudes. I’ve been in SF for like ten minutes and I haven’t had any Mexican yet. Like WTF PEOPLE. I need to get it on. And by “get it on” I mean the sex making act haha jk jk jk. MEXXICCAANNN. In the belly of this beast, narch!
I’m going to a wedding. But I swear this is the last wedding I’ll ever go to…until the one I have in October…and the one the weekend right after that one. Also in California. Ugh. I have no money. The last cent will be spent on A BURRITO. My needs are so small, surely they can be met? Yes? Yes!
Anyway I am excited to be here. I almost missed my flight. You know how there is always one jerk who gets on the plane super late, all sweaty and discombobulated, and the doors close right after they get their sad out-of-breath asses onto the plane? That wasn’t me. I was the one in front of that person. Also sweaty and panting.
I rescued the tiniest little horned lizard today! He was over near where all the construction is going on which was WAY too dangerous for his tinyness to withstand. So, I picked him up and took him over near the arroyo and put him down next to a red ant colony. He was so CUTE! I wish I could send you his picture! So tiny, almost as small as the ants! He wanted to eat them. But he was scared of them! He chased them and just as he was about to snap one up, he got scared of how big they were and ran away! I don’t think I’ve ever seen any animal run away from an ANT! Finally, though, he found a bunch of ants that were more his size…like, maybe a sixteenth of an inch long,,,those he could handle! Mmmmm! Ants!
A burrito is a sleeping bag for ground beef.