I was mentioned in this month’s Wallpaper! It’s actually a story about Emeco, the chair people, and their bench with Gehry. The bench was being auctioned at Sotheby’s, which I twatted about, but I guess I didn’t blog about it, woops. It’s hard for me, you know. If you’re wondering what a Sotheby’s auction looks like, here it is:

You can see the Gehry bench there. It’s pretty funny. Those people in the middle are like bidding on Eames tables and Hermes valets that cost more than I’ll probably ever make in an entire lifetime. Like who are you people? Is there not a recession? But the auction was pretty rad, it’s like Ebay on steroids with a lot nicer stuff. I mean you can bid on Tiffany lamps at Sotheby’s, and on Ebay you bid on lamps like this:

I’m not knocking this deer leg lamp or anything. It’s certainly a conversation starter. “Do you like my lamp? Wait to you see what I did with the genitals!”

Anyway, the Wallpaper article mentions yours truly, and my favorite line is “She now contributes to conceptual projects.” Seriously, I have NO idea what that means, I don’t really contribute much to anything. But it’s great to see Pecha Kucha and Pidgin get a shout-out, holla. The next PKNY is in September. It will be solar-powered, and, I suppose, human-powered.

You can read the article here (Thanks Lizzie for scanning it!). Keep in mind that it’ll start downloading IMMEDIATELY, so check your download thingy.

Last night Dan from Emeco, the chair people, gave a talk at Design Within Reach about 10 years, 10 collaborations of fancy chairs with even fancier designers/architects/whatever. You may or may not know that I blog on their behalf. I blog about chairs. Fancy fucking chairs made out of recycled Bud Light with Lime cans. They really are nice, I’m not just saying that. Anyway at the end of the night they had a drawing for two chairs, one by Sir Norman Foster and one by Not-Sir-Just-Regular-Mr. Frank Gehry.

They pulled a name out, some dude name Rodrigo, and he wasn’t there. So they were like, OK we’ll call Rodrigo, and then some guy in the audience yells out NO YOU HAVE TO BE HERE, COME ON. So they pull another one out. The someone says OH SHE WENT HOME DAMN SHE’S GONNA BE PISSED. So they pull another name out and it’s my good friend Marc McQuade! He immediately sprouts a gigantic boner on his face. He wins the Norman Foster 20-06 chair.

How dope is that? So pretty. When you sit in it, you feel like you can take over the world in a comfortable and very stylish way. Like, I SHALL CONQUER YOU, WORLD, BUT FIRST, LOOK AT MY ASS. LOOK AT HOW NICE IT LOOKS IN THIS BOSS CHAIR.

So then they start the drawing for the Gehry chair. They pull a name, it’s Rodrigo again. Padding the pot. Rodrigo, if you’re reading this, shame on you, loser. So then they pull out a name again and IT’S ME OMFG. I win the Superlight by Frank Gehry.

OMFGGGG! I SWEAR it was not rigged. I was like I really shouldn’t take this since I do stuff with Emeco and a nice gentleman in the audience says oh whatever, you deserve it honey!And I’m like, you’re right. I DO deserve it. Is there also a drawing for a yacht? Because I deserve a yacht. I can’t even drive one, but I’d like to say, oh yeah, I was hanging out on my yacht this weekend. This is because I want to sound like a complete douchetard.

So Marc and I took them home. Like take-out. I’ll have the Buddha’s delight, the low mein, and oh I’ll take that Superlight. Thanks. Oh what’s that? The chair is free? Well that is very nice of you. Oh? And I get a fortune cookie too? Does my fortune say that I’m a WINNER?

I’m not sure what to do with my chair. I’m out of space, that much is clear. I have more chairs than ass cheeks right now. I’m thinking of mounting it on the wall, which would be absolutely hilarious.

In OTHER news, I got the motherfucking SODA CLUB. It is a SELTZER MAKER. Holy crap. Do you guys know about this? It’s a little carbonating device. You fill a bottle with water, inject it with bubbles, and then YOU HAVE SELTZER. You might think hmm, I really don’t drink a lot of seltzer. BUT GUESS WHAT? You will if you have this. I can’t even drink flat water anymore. Like water without bubbles? Why even bother living?

So now I will start making my own sodas. Like sparkling juices n’ stuff. OH YEAH. DON’T BE JEALOUS. It’s also a greener alternative, but really, you don’t buy it to be BFFs with Mother Earth. You buy it because YOU ENJOY WATER WITH BUBBLES. Who doesn’t like bubbles? Assholes, that’s who. Just kidding. Well, not really. Anyway I got mine on Ebay for cheaper. It’s already paid for itself. So crisp and refreshing.

Fact: Humans have more than five senses.

Fact: Balance is a sense.

Not fact: Bees taste good.

Leave yours here.

I did not know.

I often ask myself, hey Annie? and I answer yeah, Annie? I’ve been doing some thinking. Oh yeah, what you been thinking about? And then I answer, well I was thinking that I’m not edgy. Then I answer, oh Annie, you are so totally edgy, what are you talking about? And then I guffaw–which is kind of like a scoff and a sneer and a pooh pooh–and I say, dude I’m so not edgy. Look at me, or, uh, you. I am not edgy. I am not wearing drop-crotch pants. Made of leather. And then I’m all, omg wtf hfs, etc. And then I have to break it down for myself.

Point 1:
I have a baritone ukulele. Edgy people have regular ukuleles. Made out of orphans.

Point 2:
I have very low blood pressure so when I stand up I sometimes get really light headed. This makes rock squats really really difficult to pull off when I am at the grocery store.

Point 3:
My fridge reeks of cauliflower. I mean really really reeks. It smells like garbage stuffed inside a rotting carcass.

Point 4:
I love toast.

Point 5:
If I drink any beverage that contains alcohol, I turn bright red and then eventually lean on a surface so I can fall asleep.

Point 6:
I would like to have a Soda Club seltzer maker. It makes seltzer. It is a seltzer maker. SELTZER MAKER. Oh my god, it is like the headgear of home appliances.

Point 7:
See Point 4, above.

Point 8:
See Point 7, above.

Point 9:
My friend Kim taught me how to drive stick shift in the Von’s parking lot one summer, and then I pulled up a street and stalled right in front of a party of 10 year old boys who then proceeded to make fun of me because I kept on stalling. Eventually I got out of the driver’s seat and made Kim drive us home. Later, I was driving stick shift in Europe and wondered why the car handled so poorly and then I was at a border, and the border patrol dude pointed to my parking break, which was on. I must’ve been driving with that thing on for miles.

Point 10:
Cheese kind of gives me gas. And when I mean “kind of” I mean like it totally does.

So after making these points to myself, I agreed with myself that I was not edgy. And in order to make myself edgy I needed a nap. The end.