OMG It’s been so long I’ve missed you and you and you…but not you.
Dudes. It’s been at least a year since my last blog post. I apologize. I cannot say what I’ve been doing these past few weeks. Not because I’m working on a supersecret project, but because I honestly don’t remember. In fact, if you read my Twats I haven’t been doing much of anything. Look, I lead a boring life. I am a boring person. I eat, I read, and then I fall asleep while I read. Somewhere in there I write something, drink something, and wake up feeling bad about myself and other people. Occasionally I feel bad about children, good god think of the children! There’s not much to talk about. I shot a bear. No that was a lie. I just lied. Sorry.
Tonight there is rock practice. Starting now, each of our practices have a theme. Tonight’s theme is “no pants.” This means that no one is allowed to wear pants. No pants. Quite simple. Pants are not allowed. I realize in British English, pants means underpants. This theme could stand if we were in British England. I do not care. British, American, Canadian. Whatever you call it, no pants.
Thank you.
Welcome back. I am not taking off my pants unless *I* want to take them off.
so, to get back your readers you go straight to the sex card with “no pants.” This is like may sweeps for blogs…
And while there’s always room for improvement, No pants rock practice. I have to say, it might be better to stick with something you are already pretty good at.
Since the fourth post is mine, can I be the one you didn’t miss?
You need to work on your lying skills. You’re not ever suppose to admit to lying. So, for example, “I shot a bear”…and then “It’s at the processor right now, but does anybody want a bear skin handbag or manbag? Write a 5-page essay on why you deserve this marvelous piece of natural style, and I will select as many winners as there are bear skin bags.” Spring is a great time to work on your lying.
JimBob
Does this mean you rocked a skirt?
omg annie, the reason you don’t blog anymore is cuz you twitter. people who twitter stop emailing blogging and phone calling…it’s a scientifically proven factoid!
Ms. Biz: I hope your pants came off and then went back on.
Ramon:I will win the ratings war. More people read this than watch that guy with the guyliner not win on American Idol.
Jon: I went to practice and Andy was actually not wearing any pants. He’s a briefs man.
Mr. Pony: You are here in NYC and yet, you still SUCK IT. Hugs!
JimBob: I will try to be better at lying, my apologies, they didn’t teach me that in statistics class in college.
Doretta: I rocked knickerbockers!!!!
Weirdo: I totally effing got ruined by Twitter you are right. I twat more than I blog it is a sad, sad place I am in right now.