I went to the dentist YET AGAIN yesterday. This time to get a permanent filling. My final appointment. So I’m sitting in the chair and the dentist comes in and asks, how are you? And I say, pretty good, and sorta you know, do a half smile. Like how good could one possibly be at the dentist finishing up a root canal? OH YEAH I’M FANTASTIC, I HOPE IT HURTS SO BAD IT MAKES MY GUMS BLEED FOR WEEKS AND THIS TIME I WOULD REALLY LIKE TO PAY AN EXTRA $500 JUST BECAUSE I FEEL SO GREAT RIGHT NOW HEY LET’S BE BROS AND GET BEERS. Anyway, I’m not rude, I’m just reserved. I am not what people would “bubbly” and “effervescent” or “chipper”. And he just kind of stares at me and says “How come you’re never happy?”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That is SO unbelievably rude, even if he meant it as a joke. We are not “girlfriends” here. He can’t ask me that kind of shit until we’re friends first. And we are not friends. I wanted to take the suction tube and strangle him for being such a toolkit.

Then he got snippy with his dental assistants for not getting the cementy filling stuff prepared in time. And he gets all flustered with them and says, I’ll just do it myself. No. NO. I’ll just do it myself.

You know how your parents never yelled at you in front of guests? Or, if your my mother, not yell at you as bad. Like they are on better behavior? It was awkward. I felt as though my dentist should’ve been on better behavior with me sitting there with toobz in my mouf. But I guess not. Sure, the assistants probably should’ve had everything ready and all that, but like, be nice in front of guests. I dunno, I know I am not “BFFs 4 eva” with this dentist so I’m hypercritical. But come on, dude. PLAY NICE.

Anyway, this makes me realize how much I love my regular dentist, who is awesome and professional and his office is from the future and also he is from Pasadena and his dental assistants make fun of him for saying “awesome” and “fabulous” too much. If you guys want a fierce dentist (who sadly does not do root canals), go to mine. I would marry him if he wasn’t gay. I would love to have his gay dentist babies with perfect teeth.

So, it’s over now. I am going to eat potato chips because they are crunchy. I’m very excited about crunchy foods right now. Crunchayyyyy.

Oh my god, I’m going to eat a gigantic pile of carrots too.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, April 22nd, 2009 at 12:10 pm and is filed under lessons learned, rage. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.