Hey Steve Jobs, Let’s Make Love
I got a new iMac at work! It’s ENORMOUS. Oh my god. The screen takes up my entire peripheral vision. Dude, ALL I SEE is screen. I want to live in it. Roll around in it. Frolic. I also want to eat it. I was working on some BULLSHIT screen before. And at home I have a stupid 15 inch laptop (which after dropping it, only works if it’s plugged in so now it’s a 15 inch desktop). So I have this SWEET iMac with this IMAX screen that makes me so happy to do work, which seems wrong. But here are things that I’ve learned:
1. You can run two programs at once. Maybe even three! Oh my god! Four! I’m running four programs at once! Dude! I can browse the tubez AND edit some copy. This may seem so simple, but my last computer gave me a big finger whenever I wanted to do two things at once. It wasn’t just giving the finger too, it’d be super obnoxious about it, hey Annie I have a gift for you, and it reaches in it’s pocket and busts out with a middle finger. Then it laughs, shakes a beer and opens it in my face, and goes to a frat party to bag some hot chix. Well guess what, old computer? Suck it.
2. I can have two Word documents open side by side. SIDE BY SIDE, people. They both FIT on this SCREEN. Do you understand this? WTF is wrong with you? Why aren’t you happier for me? SIDE BY SIDE. I have MULTIPLE windows open. Mind explosion!
3. It takes less than a minute to start up. My last computer? Over ten minutes. I’d come in, turn it on, and then go make myself coffee and you know, make instant oatmeal, talk to co-workers, and then come back to my desk and STILL wait for my shit to boot. It was offensive. Sometimes I could eat my entire oatmeal before I even saw my desktop. It’s important to note that I eat oatmeal very slowly. It’s like eating drywall paste. With raisins.
4. This thing makes me want to do it with Steve Jobs all night long except he’s really not my type but I’d do it anyway because sometimes you have to take one for the team and be a soldier about it.
5. I am very much enjoying kale. I have been eating a lot of kale. I really enjoy kale. This has nothing to do with my iMac, but something I feel like you should know and understand. Kale.
6. I want to deliver a savage beatdown on my old computer like that scene in Office Space, but I can’t even stand to look at it. It’s doing a timeout in the corner.
7. I used to have a labelmaker when I was little. Those plastic labels that get punched with white letters. You know what I’m talking about. Anyway I was TOTALLY INTO IT. Labeled everything. EVERYTHING. My mom made me take off labels from my dresser drawers. (“Just look inside instead of label.”) Anyway I was a big fan. I was very organized. I went to my friend’s office last night and there was a labelmaker and I labeled everything in their office with “suck.”
8. That is all! New computer dudes! I’m so stoked!
Welcome to the 21st century and a very exclusive club of Mac artists who loathe and spew bile onto PCs.
Annie is definately a computer “user”
She don’t lie, she don’t lie, she don’t lie…..cocaine.
have you ever tasted or imagined 2 of those screens put together for you in one computer? dude, two 20″inch screens, and you actually can play with them, portrait, landscape, one protrait-one landscape…. you still have some way to go…
my former office is giving away those flat screens, oh I truly miss my 2 screens.. at once 3. sadly I cannot take them with me
Ms. Biz: My ancient g4 laptop at home is about to die, it can barely surf the tubez. So I might need to throw down and get a new laptop but I can’t deal w/ the monies. I hate parting with my monies.
Jon: I always want to sing that song, and then go into “Cream” by Prince. THey sound nothing alike, and the only connection is Cream, but it’s still a good medly.
Pedro: Dude 2 20″ screens is a total MIND BLOW. My brain would explode from multiple windows. I dunno if I could hang with that much real estate.