Economic Crisis: Mouth Edition
Today I’m going to the dentist, where he will ask me to open my facehole so he can install a crown on my toof. This crown happens to cost eight hundred United States dollars. In addition, while he is “there,” he would like to replace an old silver filling that is more or less the same age as myself. This will cost fifty United States dollars even.
It occurred to me today that the crown is the most expensive thing I own, except for my computer and my keyboard (musical, not USB with the coffee on it). Actually the crown is worth more than my computer since that beast is about three years old. So the second most expensive thing I own is this stupid crown. EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS! I must part with EIGHT HUNDRED AND FIFTY DOLLARS during this economic meltdown! I feel like it should come with a free toaster. A few years ago if you opened an account at a Commerce Bank in Chinatown they gave you a free rice cooker. A FREE RICE COOKER. All I get is a toothbrush, but I have to ask for it because during these tough economic times, the dentist is being stingy with the toothbrushes.
When I had to get a gold filling, my dentist presented it to me in a jewelery box -like he was proposing to me. Ask for that.
At that price, Dr. Crook should give you a toothbrush that cooks the damn rice too…DEMAND SATISFACTION Annie, even if in a Novocain medicated rage you are only able to mumble the words.
Damn-it, as good as you are at stuff you should own a lot more expensive shit. U could raise funz by adding a “Donate Here” button to Annietown website….I’m sure you would come up with a lot of ridiculaously awesome ideas on what people can donate for. For example:
Send Annie $30 bucks and she will send you a T-shirt with “I Got Crowned Orally in NYC” on the front.
Debora: I am not my dentist’s type. And by that I mean I have a vagina. He is not interested in that.
Jon: I had to ask for the toothbrush and then they threw in a small tube of Sensodyne to “sweeten” the deal.