Liquids are my enemy.
Ever since I spilled coffee on my USB keyboard, it has not been the same. Mostly stuff sticks. But then sometimes my “e” key says, you know what? Not today. You are out of luck. If you want an “e” then you should just go to “hll” because in hll thr is no ” ” ky. So why don’t I use the laptop kyboard? Bcaus it maks my fingrs hurt, OK? SAD FAC.
This brings me to another larger issue, which is the liquid state of matter. When matter is not contained, it spreads out. Because there is no container, you see. The molecules just run away, they ran so far away to get away. It’s science. You can ask Dr. Michelle, she knows all about it. She is a doctor. In science. But when matter is not contained, it gets all over my keyboard. Or all over the floor. Everyday, I spill something. Which is funny because everyday I am aware that I spill things and with this knowledge, I try to prevent spilling, and yet, it happens. I keep paper towels on my desk. Look, I’m not proud of this. I just thought you should know. I need to pass by the liquid state of matter. It is not working out for me.
Is mayonnaise a liquid? Because I hate that shit.
Wait, I think it’s a plasma.
Now, I don’t want to get branded sexist or anything, and heaven knows I spill my share, but it has been my long experience that women are GENERALLY more prone to spillage than men. This includes dipping sweater cuffs into the guacamole or dripping doppio cioccolato gelato on their new white blouses.
They also are more likely to run into things with their bodies. This explains a higher-than-average bruise rate in the hip and thigh area due to collisions with countertops and table edges. Scientists say this is due to a slightly less well-developed sense of proprioception than that found in men. I dunno. Only science can tell for sure.
Personally, though, I find it to be extremely endearing.
Spill on, Annie Choi.
Perhapsee’s you should post yourself a sign say’n…”Don’t Spill”
apparently you can clean keyboards in the dishwasher….I’ve never tried it myself though.