The Beast
I am here blogging live from Aura’s apartment where I am beast-sitting. The Beast is stirring. Look at this thing. You might think awww what a cute kitty, who’s my wittle pritty witty kitty cat? But don’t be fooled, this is no cat. It is a Beast. Also it keeps sitting in my motherfucking chair you better step off, Beast I will turn you into shoes. I’m not afraid of you, butt licker.
Annie you are such a good friend to do such dangerous duty as Beast-Sitter. By all means careful where you sit……Cats Like It Doggy Style.
& Who Knew Satan has Whiskers? Certainly Not Me!
The only match for the beast is the “puppy.”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2aWebLmxKvc
I don’t think Satan has whiskers. I think Satan is red with a tail and horns and if he met my cat he would be terrified and hand over his infernal kingdom without a fight, intuitively sensing her superior diabolicalness. Secondly, my cat would tear that “puppy” to shreds. I brought over my friend’s 80lb flat coated retriever, she tried to tear him to shreds and I had to pull her off him. She scared him so much that I had to put her in the garden until we left. Basically, what I’m saying is that if I was small enough – or maybe even if I wasn’t – I think my cat might eat me, and the only reason she hasn’t is that she can’t go to the store to buy fancy feast and she can’t open the cans by herself and she doesn’t want to be bothered with scooping her own litter. And, I think it is important to note that Annie is the only human being my cat has ever met besides me who she does not attack for no reason at all. She seems to like Annie, a fact she makes clear by not eating her in her sleep or biting her ears off or sitting on her face and suffocating her. And finally, Annie is most definitely a VERY VERY good friend. For many, many reasons, of which this is just one. That’s why she wears the other half of the heart shaped the BFF necklace we bought together.
@ Aura: Yeah, that being said, the puppy doesn’t stand a chance.