Feta Shitball Tree is Back!
The Feta Shitball Tree is back in full force and it stinks. There are little shitberries everywhere and now it’s really windy which means the shitballs are blowing everywhere. Totally disgusting. It smells just like a sheep climbed a tree, shat in it, and then died. If you guys are curious about what that smells like then I suggest you come here OR take a poop in a tub of feta, feed it to a sheep and wait to see what comes out. Listen, it’s disgusting, I don’t recommend you do that. Please, don’t do it. I just had a thought, do you think feta cheese, which is made of sheep’s milk, tastes like chicken to sheep? Interesting. Anyway, I do believe it’s a ginkgo tree, that is what the locals are saying. Locals meaning Skinny Old Rocker Guy with Big Fro, the Local Coffee Guy who Guest Appears on Law and Order Every Week and Either Plays Bad Guy or the Dead Guy in the Beginning, and the Ancient Italian Man who Does the Crosswords on the Bench Covered by Shitberries. There’s also Unmarried Slightly Lonely Middle Aged Man with Extremely Spoiled Pug. (I’ve seen the pug actually eat directly out of Slight Lonely Middle Aged Man with Extremely Spoiled Pug’s mouth, gag me.) Anyway they are all talking about the Feta Tree. It is very exciting in my neighborhood. A lot of commotion. Also, another local sighting, Mike D of the Beastie Boys! He was heading to AdRock’s house who lives on my street. Sometimes I see him watch TV from the street. He is a big fan of America’s Next Top Model (who isn’t). When you combine all these details it makes my neighborhood sound totally glamorous but remember, it smells like shitberries and my apartment is the size of a shoebox. Nature, FTW!
Enquiring minds want to know – who’s TV is AdRock watching from the street….?? He must have 20/20 vision…Hmmm?
If it’s a ginkgo tree, you can’t say it smells bad. You must be thankful for all its wonderful medicinal properties (including the foul smell, which probably clears your nasal passages or something). If you don’t follow this advice, be ready for a mob of new age freaks waiting at your door and playing pan pipes.
Miss P: Damnit, misplaced prepositional phrase, OK Miss Grammar you WIN. AdRock has a very large flatscreen TV which you can see from the street cuz he is on the second floor (I think he owns the entire building though).
Renato: Ah, I love panpipes. So…soothing. Bleah. You know what’s worse? Didgeridoos.
Just Say No to Ginkgo!
Besides America’s Next Top Model, I am also a sucker for Ugly Betty (ok again who isn’t). In the episode “Betty Suarez Land” there is some pretty FUNee bits about “stinky” stuff. Betty, goes about finding sandwich cart Gio this really special cheese from Italy and has it flown in to surprise him, which led attention whore receptionist Amanda to hold up two ji-normas globes of cheese-on-a-rope and say to Betty: “A pair of smelly, sweaty balls arrived for you.”
I’m telling you, if you see it on AdRock’s flat screen! It’s LOL
1.I am not into America’s Next Top Model, neither to Ugly Betty, so not everybody.
Besides, Annie, you are supposed not to have a TV, right?
2.Your neightbourhood is glamorouns, that is why you live in a shoebox, bigger apartments are for rich people. i.e. not you
3. Who the hell is AdRock?
off subject…backup material for your architectural theory
http://www.eyje.com/pictures/architecture/Architectural_Fail_PIC_
too make it even worse, part of the smell is gingko sperm! they are ancient plants and still have motile sperm…
the feta shitball tree is in fact jizzing all over you and your neighbourhood!! get out!!! or take an umbrella and some contraceptive pills.
Just add Biloba…