Fancy Pants
My deepest thoughts, in a numbered list, below.
1. My co-worker and friend Brian Levinson was on Jeopardy and WON. Oh yes. We all watched it at Pete’s Candy Store in Willy, which is NOT a candy store, NO IT’S NOT A CANDY STORE STOP HOUNDING ME. Anyway congratulations to Brian! Bring home more cash monies and maybe your ass can finally buy me a cup of coffee you cheap bastard. I hate your guts. All of them. Even the bits of gut that everyone is like, what part is THAT from? WTF? Yeah, I hate that part too.
2. After Jeopardy was a quiz pub, also hosted by Brian, also at Pete’s Candy Store. We always lose so I’m not sure why I bother ever going, but I only go when Mike is in town from Hawaii, because that is how he rolls. Anyway I did NOT drink because the last time I got too drunk and left before 7. Oh yes, so this time I learned my lesson. Anyway I contributed to ONE answer and that was El Debarge. (The topic was “bands that have -bar in their names). It was the audio round. I was like El Debarge, holla. I hate myself.
3. I went to some fancypants writing/literati event last night at the new Enrique Norten building which is down the street from me. They say it’s on York but you and I both know it’s on Canal. You can’t give some other street name to a building that is SO CLEARLY on Canal, at the anus, if you will, of the Holland Tunnel. Anyway the building is meh, and I can’t say I’m a big fan of the colored LED lights in the lobby. It’s like being transported to an 80s disco. WHERE ARE MY FEATHERED BANGS? Anyway, that is NOT THE POINT. I am not a literati, but Aidan F-C is and works for a hoity toity (sp) “literary magazine.” I didn’t quite understand the event, but they asked famous/scenester writers to write a piece of flash fiction (Lewis Lapham, Jonathan Ames, Jonathan Lethem, Paul Haggis, AM Homes etc. and even Ernest Hemingway but he, unfortunately, was not at the party last night). Then they posted them on little boards and projected them against the building, which is nice. I dunno if it’s still up tonight, but it’s worth a look. Diesel and North vodka sponsored the event. i was so very very confused. I think it’s one big PR thing for Diesel and North and Norten. It made me a little nauseous. Anyway the pieces of fiction were great. And on the way up the elevator, I was standing next to AM Homes and the elevator ‘host’ was like well the bar is to your left and the flash fiction is to the right but I won’t tell anyone if you go straight to the left and I said, oh I’ll tell. I’ll totally tell. And then AM Homes said the same thing. So we are clearly the same person. Except she’s like waaay more successful. AM Homes if you are reading this, don’t you ever, ever steal my joke again or I’ll beat your little literati fancypants right up. JK JK JK, let’s be Facebook friendz LOLZ!
3. Marco is organizing speakers for a Nokia internal conference and asked me to speak. It’s in the Pecha Kucha style (20 slides, 20 seconds each slide) and I’ll be talking about what I’d do with the million dollars Nokia saves if the employees carpooled. I was thinking I’d buy 1 million 99 cent bags of Frito’s and then I’d have one million cents leftover so it’s like I’d be making money on the deal.
4. Uh, I need to go to the grocery store.
Fancy Pants is/are:
Fancy Pants: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mu71EAdnjQ0
Fancy Pants: 1950’s movie.
Fancy Pants: stereotypically snobbish and dandified
Fancy Pants: a better writer than me.
Fancy Pants: La-Dee-Da
Fancy Pants: a prosthetic, rubber ass worn under yo slacks
Fancy Pants: http://www.lanceandeskimo.com/paul/fancypants.shtml
Fancy Pants: dazes and confuses Annie (even though she cleans up real nice).
Fancy Pants: a good look on you.
Fancy Pants: dry cleaner’s forte
Fancy Pants: narcissistic mix of fashion and intellect
Fancy Pants: a stylishly dressed smarty pants
Marmotton!!! I demand the marmotton post ASAP and STAT. or I will call you in the middle of the night and sing the accordion song to you so that you can never ever escape it.
also, are you trying to tell us that you’re becoming a literati? because if so we need to talk, because I might have to fire you as a friend if that is the case.
To the beat of the rhythm of the night. Nice. Memories of pleated tapered chinos with rad suspenders.
and generra hypercolor shirts. which are apparently coming back this season. sweet.
Aura: Mine was orange. Crew dudes in silohette. Worn over a turtleneck. With hockey hair. uff dah
I saw your friend Brian on Jeopardy and I love him! If he is ever in Texas, I will take him out for a drink!
Jon: Fancypants is pants that have glitter.
Aura: Yes yes I will do it next time I go into office and remember my camera. Dude my coworkers were playing that shit and now they hate me. HATE ME. It’s infectious.
Bryan: Yeah it’s embarrassing. So, so embarrassing.
Aura: You can get them at American Apparel. Gross. The worst is that they show how you are all sweaty on yoru back and in yoru armpits. Like, I don’t need to see it. Or show it.
Bryan: I had one that was pink and I tied a knot at the bottom cuz itw as extra long (or I was extra short, hard to say).
Tara: I’ll let Brian know, I’m sure he’ll be thrilled. He loves free drinks.
Annie: As a freshmen you could’ve waled on me, 5′-0″ buck o’ five. Me trying to look cool in that was like Prince (he’s back to that now, right?) trying to act all cowboy up in “Purple Rain.”
I watched Brian on Jeopardy last night and was thinking he’d probably be a riot to go out drinking with. And here I read that he is your freind, so I can assume this is indeed a fact.
He totally killed it! Yeah, Brian!
Buy tomatoes.
These are the things that I had never heard of before I read your post:
1. El Debarge
2. AM Homes
3. Pecha Kucha
4. Pants
Okay. I don’t know you, thus this is awkward, but I heart your friend Brian a bit, and I just had to tell someone.
Bryan: I was also a 5 foot freshman (in college). Prince I think is shorter! Let’s go beat him up. With love.
Salty: I just missed Monday’s episode! Sad face. But his second grade teacher contacted me and was like OMG I used to teach Brian! Crazy small world.
Renato: I bought lentils.
Aaron: You so totally know El Debarge. Youtube it. Be knowing. Pants, on the other hand, is a strange mystery.
Soda Seven: I will let him know. He just got new pants and showed them to me. LOOK ANNIE NEW PANTS.
Annie: Maybe we should just share him as a pet. Neutering, of course,is a must.
Hi Annie:
If you’re willing, pass a message for me! Tell Brian that I knew him back when he was “Flowbee,” and imagine my surprise when I was randomly Googling for old friends this morning and I came across his Jeopardy videos on YouTube!
Also tell him to drop me a line. We haven’t spoken since we were like 15.