The Final Frontier
I DID NOT KNOW THIS:
Uranus, seventh planet from the Sun, (INSERT YOUR ANUS JOKE) actually ROTATES ON ITS SIDE. On it’s side!!! So the other planets spin like a top, but Uranus spins like a rolling ball. That means its poles are where other planets have their equators. DUDE. MIND EXPLOSION. How have I lived this long without knowing that? Did everyone know this? I am totally late to this party. And now I show up and everyone’s dressed up like Karl Lagerfeld except me. Like I just totally missed something. DUDE. ROLLS LIKE A BALL. I hate myself.
Scientists think a planet hit “your anus” when it was just starting to form and knocked it on its side.
Listen, I want to LIVE THERE. Except for the fact that it would suck royally, it would be really nice to live on a planet that rolls but I would get really tired of the anus jokes.
Relax lady. I think Stephen Hawking has been keeping this one in his back pocket, just in case people start to think he’s only kinda’-sorta’ smart.
Please reconsider your relocation. Nasa tells me that winter is 20 years long there and the average temp is -357 degrees. That would be quite the crap sandwich.
Yeah, that’s what Nasa wants you to believe. They don’t want you to know about the ancient ruins, like on Mars, like on the Moon. Damn 20th century fox is the illuminati, nasa’s just the puppet.
“Get to Know Uranustown”or blog formally known as Annietown. Note: Those darn “Uranus” jokes almost write themselves don’t they.
With a name like “Uranus” I guess you don’t need to brag that you rotate on your side. When you think about it, how else could it rotate and still be visible from Earth?
So, if one were to take up residency on uranus would one then be obliged to refer to it as maianus?
VK: Total crap sandwich but YOU WOULD SPIN LIKE A BOWLING BALL.
Ramon: I could never get into the X Files. But now Agent Mulder is in rehab for too much sexing.
Jon: Yeah I tried to not fall into the usual Uranus tropes, but it is hard when you are writing about Uranus.
Bryan: Haha I guess so. Not a bad name really.
Get yourself a nice down coat with a hood and one of those arctic tents, and a sackful of peanut butter sammiches, and you’d be all set to set up house on Ur-anus. I hear the mails are slow, though.