Salad o’ Eggs
So I’ve had these eggs in my fridge for awhile, and I noticed that they expired yesterday. My friend was like, dude, just throw them away, but I felt bad. Because, you know, they are eggs. Chickens worked hard to give me these eggs. They said, hey, you, Annie, take my eggs. My unfertilized, unborn children. I buy the fancy, cage-free, organic eggs, but you know, an egg is still an egg. It’d be like a slap in the beak to throw them away, right? Like here, I knit you this sweater, and you are like oh yeah this sucks, I’m going to toss it because sweaters are for losers.
So I decided I would boil them. Hard-boiled eggs, or as some people call it “hard-cooked eggs,” which sounds funny to me. Cooking an egg isn’t hard. And like, you aren’t really cooking are you? You are boiling water. That’s not cooking, that’s boiling water. Anyway I do this so they’d keep. So I boil them all and then I realize that I actually do not like hard-boiled eggs. So there you go. I make egg salad, which I don’t particularly like, and then I eat an egg-salad sammich, which I don’t particularly like. And now I have leftover egg salad. Mayo-less. Because while I tolerate but kind of don’t like eggs, I really, really do not like mayo. So there. If you guys want some egg salad, I have, like, a lot. I would feed it to chickens if I could. I wonder if eggs taste like chicken to chickens.
Do you include “Miracle Whip” in your category of mayo? Cuz it’s not mayo. It’s Miracle Whip. We always had Miracle Whip when I was growing up, so I don’t like mayo. I prefer Miracle Whip.
Mayonnaise is for people who can’t make spit. It’s fucking disgusting.
Feed chickens their embryos? That is fucked up. I guess cage-free-dom really isn’t free.
As for mayo I’m a fan. It’s one of the two things the French actually contributed to the world.
I think that’s how mad cow started. Don’t let Annietown start mad chicken.
annie; Hell hath no fury like a sammich o’ expired eggs + mayonnaise. Hell no doubt hath other fury’s too, but optimistically speaking that may be the only one now incubating in your fridge.
I’d have some. Can you mail it to Portugal?
My live-in-the-cage-and-do-
sterioids chicken eggs last way beyond the expiration date. Must be all the drugs those chickens get… I have eaten them weeks after they “expired”, and I am still here to talk about it. With these nuclear chickens, I think the expiration date is just a ploy to get you to discard your eggs and buy more. And if they do go bad, then Halloween will be here before you know it, and rotten eggs are the best kind to throw.
Eggs are fine for a few weeks past the sell-by date, and supposedly the ones that are not-so-fresh (there’s a “your mom” joke there that’s just too easy) are actually better for making hard-boiled eggs out of than the really fresh ones — something about either making them easier to peel or less likely for the yolks to turn black. Then again, my hard-boiled eggs fall apart when I peel them and have black yolks no matter what kind of egg I use.
Place eggs in a pot of cold water. Turn the heat on. Bring to boil. Turn off the heat and let the eggs sit (10-20 minutes depending on the size) with the lid on. Run under cool water. Easy to peel, no black yolk.
Cageless organic eggs have high Omega 3 fatty acid content. Higher than caged ones. Despite the way their name sounds (do Omega 3 fatty acids always travel in packs or can you have an omega 3 fatty acid?), Omega 3 fatty acids are evidently good for you, so I hear.
You should have made deviled eggs — so much sin, no mayo. OMG. I just wrote a slogan for the deviled egg company of America people. Or something.
Deviled eggs are the best.
Mayo is the worst.
I hate it when restaurants sneak mayo into a perfectly good burger.
Eggs freak me out. I mean, I love omelettes and scrambled eggs and deviled eggs but I simply can’t eat hardboiled eggs. The yolk by itself is gross on so many levels.
When my husband cooks scrambled eggs for our weekend breakfasts, he has a tendency to undercook them. The first time he did, my eggs kind of oozed off my fork and I kind of gagged a little so, now, whenever he cooks eggs, I tell him to make sure mine are done, dry, and a little crispy.
He, of course, pokes at the gooey mess not long after putting them into the frying pan and jokes, “They’re done!”
Every. Time.
Let’s see how he feels when I undercook his bacon next weekend. (Like, wave it over the stove and serve it.)
give them to me. it’s ramadan (fasting) month in the middle east & i’ve got nothing to eat.
I REALLY … REALLY, lost my time reading this. is so stupid. WHAT IS THIS SH·$%?.
Heidi: Then don’t read it. No one is forcing you to read anything.
Heidi: learn how to navigate away from things you don’t want to read. Contrary to what you apparently believe, the internet is not like homework and you are not required to read things you don’t enjoy. moron.