From the Guesthouse: On Rain and “Keeping It In the Pants”
Annie is “going hiking” in a part of Canada that I’ve never visited, and likely will never visit. It is a place of cottages and Easterners. I get itchy just thinking of the mosquito bites. Lucky for me, Annie will be collecting the mosquito bites while I enjoy my West coast summer, which is like winter, except with less rain.
Anyhow, I spent all night wondering how I would “keep it in the pants,” yet write about Rain, the Justin Timberlake of Korea, not Vancouver’s main form of weather. I figured I’d get my mandatory Rain post out of the way on my first day in Annietown. Why? I want to win the love and affection of Anne-Mommy, whose adoration of Rain is greater than mine. And I want to stick to Annie’s Rules, because I like the way my neck works and really don’t need Annie to punch me when I next visit her.
So yeah. I’m writing about Rain…but I must “keep it in the pants.” This is hard. Things keep trying to leap out of my pants. I mean, look at him:
How am I supposed to “keep it in the pants”? I really don’t want to be punched in the neck or impeached or have loyal Annietown readers rip the special Annietown sash off me. I’m in a bind. Should I just comment on his dancing skills? Or on his much-improved wardrobe choices over the years?
I get it. This was a test from Annie. It was Annietown-style hazing. I think I passed. I kept it in my pants.
P.S. A big thank you to Nathan for fixing my tech issue! Otherwise, Annietown would have been a ghosttown all week and Annie would have punched me in the neck.
Dude, the only thing you need to know about Rain is the huge movie he is going to be in: Ninja Assassin. A pic:
http://movies.about.com/library/weekly/blninjaassassinpicsb.htm
Ramon, you’re making it really hard for me to “keep it in the pants” with pictures of Rain looking like that.
Doretta, so far you are doing great, but I think you need a healthy dose of self confidence. Luckily, I know someone who can help: Jack Daniels. Just do a shot or two and then stumble over to the keyboard… You will be writing awesome posts in no time!
Listen: Annie is gone to Canada or Heaven or wherever. She won’t be able to see what you’ve written until she gets back - giving you plenty of time to buy an iron collar to protect you against any neck punching that might occur, so let loose!!
And thanks for getting this weird Asian kid out of the way first thing. The only thing I hate more than other cultures is the pop culture of other cultures. Fuck this kid and his soulless eyes. I hope he gets caught in a fire.
Aaron, I do like the Jack Daniels, but I find that I end up writing posts that look like this if I drink and type:
ak;sdfkj l;ar jlkfadsjkl fasd a fds jlal jkafds lj asdf ljdf aeriubvn
Also, your talk about Rain: blasphemy! Blasphemy I tell you. The boy suffers to be hot–what else can a girl ask for?
doretta: Sometimes, you just gotta go through the pants.
Hey, it’s Annie’s birthday, or whatever!
D,
Rain reminds me of Dee Snyder with more honest effeminacy. I do so hope he rocks your pants off with a “We’re not gonna take it” cover.
Mr. Rain, if you’re reading this blog, and you see that Annietowners are somehow able “Keep In Their Pants” it is either because they don’t want to get punched in the neck, or they don’t care as much about your appearance as you do.
Ramon: Good advice. I will remember this for the future.
Steve: Ooh, Annie’s birthday! We must channel “whatever” to her.
VK: If I’m old enough to know who Dee Snyder is, I probably shouldn’t love Rain.
Jon: This morning I did one thousand sit-ups and brushed my hair one hundred times, all to keep up with Rain.
Doretta: Keep it up. No Pain…No Rain.
Many happy returns of the day, Choi.
WhateverWhateverWhateverWhatever…
Stephen Colbert is WAY hotter than Rain: http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1
Sorry- don’t know why that link didn’t quite make it. Try one more time:
http://www.nofactzone.net/?p=1530
Aigoo!