FEVER!!!!
Just because I do not feel “connected” enough, I joined Twitter. (Or, I should say more accurately, Nathan and Micah pressured me into joining.) I think Twitter is for people who are too lazy even to blog. Like, god, screw blogging with all those SENTENCES and, good gravy, PARAGRAPHS, why don’t I just blog one line at a time? Anyway it’s a micro-blog which sounds silly. I prefer mini-blog because, as we all know, if it’s mini, it’s adorable. Like a donut, mmm ok that might be tasty, but a donette? HOLY CRAP ADORABLY DELICIOUS I WILL EAT A HUNDRED OF THESE BECAUSE THEY ARE SO PRECIOUS. So find my blogette on Twitter. Let’s be friends, etc.
I saw Battles this weekend at SummerStage in Central Park. They were rocking, but what struck me was that they all appeared to have day jobs and seemed like responsible guys that show up on time and, like, hold doors open for old ladies. Like the drummer was wearing khakis and the bassist had tucked IN his plaid shirt. They were so regular “I shop at the Gap” but then they played and it’ s like your earholes explode and bleed rock all over your face. It’s so nice to see a band that just looks normal but shreds. No guyliner, no nuthugging jeans, no attitude. They were gracious and down to business. Thank you, Battles. For being not-assholes. But you know what? Maybe they are total dicks. Hard to say, really.
So my good friends Marco and Lizzie totally have Olympic Fever. EXTREME OLYMPIC FEVER, they need to be medicated. I showed up at their apartment over the weekend and Marco opened the door wearing nylon sweats and a dirty white t-shirt and flip flops. I was like whoa, don’t get dressed up for me by any means, and then I walk into their place and they have digital cable and a projector TV going. Olympic swimming is covering the entire wall of their apartment. Marco plops down on the couch and is like MICHAEL PHELPS!!!! They had just gotten digital cable just for the Olympics. So, boys and girls, that is an important lesson. When you get cable, you really let yourself go. Seriously. I watched so much Olympic coverage on shit I don’t even CARE about. Beach volleyball? I mean really? It’s only on TV because they are wearing bikinis, it’s totally retarded. Plus the announcers totally had a boner for one of the girls, it was irritating. And then I think Bob Costas was weeping when Phelps won and all I could think was, dude, there are THREE OTHER GUYS ON HIS TEAM LET’S TALK ABOUT THEM FOR LIKE TWO SECONDS. And then I found myself rooting for Tunisia because I decided I didn’t like the Australian swimmer because he was a germophobe and didn’t touch handrails and stuff and kept on whining about his physical ailments. Even my grandma didn’t do that when she dropped a pot of boiling oil on her foot. I was like omg, get a grip. Go Tunisia. See? This is what happens when you catch the fever. Anyway, I want to see the sports where people shoot stuff. I want to see like kung fu, etc. OK fine kung fu isn’t a sport, but you see where I’m going with this.
You’ll be disappointed by the sports where people shoot stuff. They use these ridiculous “sport pistols” and “rifles” looking like long pens with a handle and a sight. They should use Magnum revolvers and shotguns. Or cannons. That would make for excellent TV programming.
Zzzzz. Twitter is so five minutes ago. Tumblr.com is where it’s at, yo! It’s somewhere between micro and mini… It’s Microni? Oh yeah. And it’s delicious.
Just having returned from once in while visit to the Empire State and Big App I totally understand why Battles were tucked and un-asshole like in NYC. The City of Excesses was excessively polite and almost always friendly this trip…WTF? My only excessive dissapointment was in the arena of eye contact. NYC, you need to work on your eye contact!
I TOTALLY agree about the beach volleyball. It pisses me off every time I tune in and that’s what’s on (which seems like always). I have to stay up until 2 a.m. to watch the women’s all around gymnastics but beach volleyball is on all frickin’ day.
I am excited for Tae Kwon Do, which starts Wednesday.
I was in tears for the Jamaican woman who won the 100m sprint. She was awesome the way she jumped around afterwards like a little kid, wrapped in her country’s flag, even falling down and kicking her feet up because she was so happy.
a band that dresses normal and is nice? say it ain’t so annie!
Renato: I want to be an Olympian in the cannon shooting event. I”d own that shit.
Aaron: I can’t keep up. I can haz cheezeburger.
Jon: Dude you don’t make eye contact in NYC or else you’ll be asked for change, asked to sign a petition, or get mugged depending on where you are.
Ms. Biz: Dude I am going to have to break into my friends’ apartment so I can watch tae kwon do and watch people kick some ass. I wanted to see fencing too but that is apparently not popular. Because they do not wear biknis, etc.
Ian: Hah.
annie: OK, i checked out your Twitter microblog action. your insane (good). damn girl! you should figure out ways to spend more time do’n da stuff you love.
While watching trampoline the other day, yes that was trampoline, I really need to find the remote, I thought up what could possibly be the greatest olympic event ever, Team Bouncy Castle Battle Royale. Add bikinis if so inclined.
All true except for the flip-flop part. You don’t high-five I don’t flip-flop.
GO FOR THE GOLD!
I’m going to have to disagree and profess my love for beach volleyball. Chicks or dudes, I like it both, but I do like the chicks a little better. Ok a lot better.
Are you twittering from your computer or from your phone?
Bryan: I would lurve me a trampoline. It woudl be pretty fun. I laugh so hard I feel like I will lose bladder control.
Marco: OK they were like slippers of some kind. Soccer sandals? I dunno you were like the most casual I think I have ever ever seen you.
FlatGreg: Ladies won the gold! FEVER! I am twittering from pooter,my phone is from the fucking dark ages, man. It barely works. It runs on hugs and good will.