Thanks, all
Thanks for all the well wishes and emails and IMs and texts and hugs and burritos. I have amazing friends and for this, I am very grateful. So thanks you guys, seriously. It makes the whole thing go down a lot easier.
Anyway, before she passed away, my grandma knitted me the ugliest vest I have ever seen. A sweater vest. It’s purple. Very purple. OK think of a muscle tank. And now make it purple and wool. And now give it a small boatneck collar. It’s very, uh, unflattering. I put it on and it looks like I got beatdown by Barney and Grimace. I don’t know how to knit, but I’d like to somehow reknit it into something else that I can use all the time, which would be kind of nice. She also knit a hat so big I can pull it down over my entire face. Hahaha I could like rob a bank. But I won’t, not because it’s illegal, but because who has time to rob a bank? I mean you go in there and you have to wait in line forever, it’s just not worth it.
In other family news: one of my younger cousins, 19, wants to BE A RAPPER!!!!!!! DUDE!!!!!!! He has a big fat diamond earring and everything. Cap turned to the side. I want to die. I’m like really? A rapper? I mean, I’m not saying you should be a doctor or a lawyer, but this is definitely one of those things where you should have a fallback career. Just saying. He was wandering around my grandma’s apartment with his iPod on and rapping and doing that rapper thing with the hands you know that karate chop thing. Dude. A rapper. FROM THE VALLEY. I mean the VALLEY. Look at this place. There are malls everywhere. Panda Express. CPK. You know what I mean? But, he apparently recorded a demo!!!! Dude, WTF is right! A RAPPER. Good times.
One of my cousins flew in from Seoul, and he’s the oldest. He’s awesome, one of my favorite people in the family. Anyway he has a ponytail now. A PONYTAIL. The man is like pushing 40. And he’s like yeah I just hadn’t had time to cut it. I’m like really? You didn’t have time in the past, oh I dunno, TWO YEARS it took to grow that beast? He said he’d cut his ponytail off and make soup out of it just for me. Speaking of food, his favorite game is this: “If I gave you a hundred bucks, would you eat that piece of beef?” “What if you ate that piece of pork right now? What would happen?” “OK how about TWO hundred. U.S. dollars.” And then everyone at the table shouts do it, do it, do it (including my parents). Seriously does this joke ever get old? Probably not. Anyway yesterday we went to INSANE KOREAN BBQ place. They brought out like gigantic platters of meat. Like a big meat pile. It doesn’t bother me I mean come on, it’s beef I have SEEN BEEF BEFORE OMG, but then everyone does the joke where when ever I’m about to eat something they say oh be careful, there’s beef in that and I actually stop to look because I can’t tell you how many times they’ve actually sneaked beef into my food, it’s ridiculous. And then they all laugh, like ha ha ha, made you look. It’s like being in junior high. I’m going to shove everyone in a locker.
I’m sure your 19 year old cousin will get tired of 50-Won jokes too.
nobody said that being vegetarian was easy. So jokes go with the job.
Annie, I’m so glad that you can be with your family and laugh during this time. Even if they try to make you eat animal products.
Warmest wishes your way…..
Hey, well at least it’s a little cooler out here here right now for you! You wouldn’t want the smuggled beef im sure you’re hoarding to turn. Oh, and I bet if your “cuz” makes it in the biz, you wont be complaining when he buys you like a yacht or something. Screw fallback plans, they’re for bitches.
hey Ms. Annie –
meant to comment before and offer my condolences … I had a death in the family a few weeks ago too. ugh.
that being said, I’m glad to see you’re keeping your chin up.
take care, toots. and don’t let the meat eaters (myself included) get ya down.
Good luck to Parappa the Rappa.
Keep all those gems knitted by your Grams for a collage, or an installation piece. It could work.
I am glad to see you are laughing with (and/or at) your family. The best medicine, IMHO.
there is so much to cover in this post, I’m not even sure where to begin… on a yay grandma and knitting note, I officially volunteer to help you make your grandma loves you sweater barney into something lovely and exciting like a very small throw blanket to fit in your very small apartment. It will be perfect. Then when you sleep, you’ll have a little bit of grandma there to protect you from scary night beasts like caterpillars and things of the sort. awwwww.
Also, my childhood was filled with ’sneak the meat’ and meat bets. My sisters would come out with it ALL the time… and yes they thought it was hilarious and no I never took the bet. I do think that maybe my stepmom used to put hamburger in the pasta sauce. My dad (a long time veggie) never seemed to notice, but I was on to her. Booooooy was I on to her. Also, a friend of mine from college swears that I ate a few slices of pepperoni pizza one late drunken night. I will deny it to my dying day, but dangit if he wasn’t just a little too sure of himself!
애니야 !
잘 도착 했지 ?
고맙다.
쪽지 보거든 이-메일 보내거라 …
잘 있어라 !!!
hey annie - sorry about your gran by the way. why do awesome people die? why can’t some scientologists die instead?
when i was a vegetarian (bacon sandwiches undid me in the end) i remember someone in a bakery trying to sell me a non-vegetarian savoury pastry on the basis that it ‘didn’t have much meat in it’. she must have thought i was one of those vegetarians who only eats a little bit of meat (?).
here is an idea for what to re-knit your vest into. it will be very handy at pre-natal classes should you ever decide to take to grandma’s advice and marry, then procreate (the napping will give you energy for this). The colour should work:
http://www.acegraphics.com.au/product/model/ta011.html
you can read korean?!
Steve: Oh I am sure he will never, ever get sick of 50-won jokes. Ever.
Pedro: It’s true. People make it harder on purpose.
Melissa: Aw thanks.
Ramon: He will never buy me a yacht. I doubt he’ll even buy his parents one.
Courtney: Thanks.
Ms. Biz: Yeah it was like laughter and then bawling. WTF.
Hez: Yeah I once ordered something in Seoul and I said no meat and they gave me ham. And I was like there’s ham in this and they said, yeah but there’s no meat. Hahaha
Fly: Yeah, don’t ask me to speak it in front of a studio audience though. Korean school came through like 50% of the way.