Analog Mechanical Internet
I just got back from Governor’s Island.
First of all, a shoutout:
Erin, if you are reading this OMG I LOVE YOU AND I MEAN THAT IN THE GAYEST WAY POSSIBLE. Without Erin and her appendages I would not have been able to lug two tons of shit to Governor’s Island. So Erin, thank you. You have lovely arms and they are especially lovelier when they are toting my shit.
Anyway, I ended up using three typewriters instead of four, because the fourth was stowed away in a car and the owner of said typewriter and car was very, very drunk last night and we were unable to meet up (WHAT? WHAT DID YOU SAY? OH? TYPEWRITER? OH IS THAT NOW? YOU NEED IT NOW? WAIT, HOLD ON ANNIE JUST A SECOND, YO DUDE, ORDER ME ANOTHER SHOT! WOOOOO YEAAAH CHIICKKSSS). At first I was panicky (which is not a word, but guess what, it is today) because that means I would only have THREE TYPEWRITERS. Originally this project had ten. And then five. And then four. And now three! Three! Three is for losers! Three is for people who cannot do four, five, or ten! But then I realized, hey, it would be OK. I just felt bad that JoMo had to build four tables, when in fact, all we needed was three. Three or four, no one will care unless they are a real asshole who likes even numbers.
So then Erin and I hauled three tables, three typewriters, three 25-foot long pieces of paper, a drill, screws. I should mention here that one of the typewriters is about 20 pounds. My arms are about to fall off as I type this. The table legs were separated, all I had to do was drill them into the tables at the site.
Right. Drill them in. So easy, right?
My drill bit was stripped. It looked like a piece of gum. No good. I have NO IDEA how one would strip a drill bit, but I did it and I am sad for it. I did not bring another drill bit. Because, like, who strips a bit? Annie strips a bit, that is who (whom). So then Erin ran all over the island looking for an organizer to come and save my ass.
Then came the hero with the Greatest Drill in the world and a drill bit that does not suck. I thanked him many times and would’ve you know, tickled his balls and whatnot had he asked. That is how grateful I was. He put the tables together. The guy was a rock star. Seriously. If any of you guys go, he was the one who designed the dollar mini-golf course.
Anyway, the event organizers gave me a sweet, sweet indoor space, and if any of you guys go, check it out. You’ll find the analog, mechanical internet in the Admiral’s House.
I want to live in this house. If I lived there I would make everyone call me Admiral because that is a sweet nickname. Much better than “chief” or “boss” or “asswipe.” The inside of the house is just as sick as the outside. I put the typewriters throughout the house and tried not to interrupt the (real and totally legitimate) art that was on the walls.
Here is a Royal from the 30s given to me by Pony.
I put that in the green room.
Here is a Royal Portable, from the late 30s/early 40s, donated graciously by Cosmo Apale, a gentleman who responded to my Freecycle post. His generosity made this project possible.
I put that in the purple room.
I also had a blue 60s Sears Tutor.
I put that in the yellow room.
Note that the AC unit was part of the original house. Ha ha ha. Admirals need air conditioning too you know. Anyway people already started typing on them as I was leaving, which is cool.
Speaking of houses, Erin and I rented bikes and rolled around the island and then came across a large mechanical dinosaur eating a house.
Very curious. If you want to visit the Island of Governors, I highly recommend watching out for house-eating monsters. The Parks Service is letting them roam free there. Beware.
Actually, “panicky” is a word. I’s an English teacher, I should know.
Sounds like everything came together in the end - sweet!
So cool! Great placement of typewriters. I’d say something profound about the meaning behind it, but I’m just not that smart.
I’ve heard of this program, the park service feels the housing population is growing too big and with a new scarcity of food (no mortgage market) they are afraid many homes will starve so they’ve introduced the giant mechanical house-eating monster dinosaur to help weed out the population. They do the same thing out in CA but with fire.
Thanks 4 sharing sweet pic’s + stories. No mention of what is written on those labels next to Twriters though. Maybe they say “Vote 4 Annie - Next Admiral of Governor’s Isle” or perhaps “Donated Drill Bits Glady Accepted. Send c/o Annie.”
Really supa cool! Job welldone, You always seem to suprise me with the crazy ass shit you’re involved in. (in a good way )
wtf with that house eating monster thingy.
they should just rename it “annie’s island”
alas, like rhena i have nothing profound to say about the meaning. but I would love to know if there was some deep and meaningful meaning behind the coupling of each writing machine with its room color. Annie, knowing you it was probably something you got from Wittgenstein or Schopenhauer. Or Hegel?
Ms. Biz: Yeah it was good, and it’s nice to know that not all New Yorkers are total asswipes and will help you be a winner.
RT: Connecting mechanical machines using ideas is more or less the ‘point.’ But the real story is I wanted to see what people would write. It was a lot like a ‘real life’ Twitter, which is kind of cool.
Bryan: This is what happens when you cut the Parks service budget. Monsters run free and take over everything. WTF.
Jon: I had told the dude I could drill the whole thing myself if he lent me his drill and he was not having it, which was probably a good thing.
Ramon: Yeah who knows, I just think oh I’ll do this and then dont’ really realize WHAT A FUCKING PAIN IN THE ASS it is. Holy shit. Taking down was miserable.
Fly: Yeah they are demolishing a house. Asbestos probably.
Ian: No they should just give me the goddamn island already. No one lives there. I would make it so sweet.
Aura: Hegel is the vagina exercises right? As for the room color/ typewriter, there wasn’t much really. Just oh, I like blue and yellow together because it’s pretty. Etc. Hello. How are you?
As a Singaporean would say, “So powderful!”