All day I’ve had to answer this annoying question, “So, what did you do over the weekend?” Listen, everyone. Stop asking me this question. Just because everyone gets a holiday, doesn’t mean everyone has to do something. Really, this question only reminds me that I didn’t actually do anything over the weekend. Nothing at all. Literally, I did nothing. But it wasn’t a good kind of nothing. It was the kind of nothing you feel guilty about because you should be doing SOMETHING because hey, it’s a three-day weekend, what a great opportunity to do something. Go out of town. Go grill something. Go to the park. See some people. Go see some art n’ shit. Get some writing done. But instead I did nothing but think about doing many things and then totally did not do them.

“So, what did you do over the weekend?”

The answer is nothing.

Let’s see, after I did nothing…I did more of nothing. Then later, I did nothing. I was very busy with nothing.

Meanwhile everyone else did many things. People went all over the place, what is that about? My friend’s brother proposed to his ladyfriend. People went to Fire Island. There was some rooftop parties involving champagne. Moyer went to Mexico. I was here. I can’t even say I was sitting on my ass doing nothing. Because that’s actually doing something. I just sort of floated maybe.

At some point over the weekend, I got two mosquito bites on my arms. No idea how that even happened. Mosquitoes decided to punish me. Very curious.

You know how sloths remain so still that algae grows in their fur and there are like entire little ecosystems going on in there with bugs and all that stuff? And how their internal organs are shifted because they hang upside down all day and don’t move? I like sloths. I understand them. I see a sloth and I’m like hey man, I dig your style. And the sloth looks at me and is like, word. But you know, says it really really slowly. Wooorrrdddddd. And somewhere in the middle while saying that it falls asleep. Now how can sloth be one of the seven deadly sins? I mean they are so cute. They are like children wearing a suit of hair.

Speaking of hair, this week is Beast Week. I am going to take care of the beast for a week and a half. This is the same beast I had to take to the vet’s office a few months ago, for those who remember. For some reason, Aura asked me to cat sit again and for some reason, I said yes. I think we were both surprised by the answer. Aura says if the beast dies on my watch it’s OK because she really wants a dog. That made me feel better. She also told me that while in Florida over the weekend (she is one of the many that did something), she ended up in some pet store and they were selling doggie shirts that said “I miss my balls.” I thought that was funny. It would be extra funny if a guy were wearing it. Just saying.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, May 27th, 2008 at 10:17 pm and is filed under not raging. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.