I am a nice person.
You know how when people say “I’m a nice person, but . . .” then they say something that makes them clearly not a nice person, and maybe more like a dick. But since they preceded it with “I’m a nice person . . .” it is like suddenly they have a free pass to be a dick, just this once since clearly they have never, ever, ever been a dick before and are always nice. Anyway I am a nice person because I gave the huge silver yoga ball that JoMo stole from the Beaux Arts Ball to the yoga studio I go to and they were very excited because they don’t really have the funds to buy their own yoga balls because only five people go there. So I have done my good deed for the day to show that I can actually be a nice person. But I guess that means normally I am a dick. So in this case I should say, “I’m a dick, but I donated the yoga ball to the yoga people.” But of course I am not being that nice since I didn’t actually pay for the ball and in fact it was stolen, though not by me. So I guess that brings us back to the original point, which is that I am a dick but not the biggest dick ever since I didn’t steal, which means that JoMo is the biggest dick ever, which he is anyway since he doesn’t read this blog and therefore got a Shoutdown in some previous post where I gave the Shoutdowns. God this is all so terribly confusing.
So in conclusion: I am a dick, but I am occasionally nice. Also, JoMo is a dick. I think that covers it up and I really should’ve written that to begin with. Now you are there scratching your heads being like, dude, this doesn’t even make sense. And then I would have to agree with you because in addition to being a dick, I am also agreeable, which seems at odds with each other, but if jumbo shrimp can exist, so can agreeable dicks, right? I like Fig Newtons.
“I’m a nice person, but…” goes hand in hand with the ubiquitous “It’s not you it’s me.” When in fact it is completely you and not really that much me at all. Except when I heard it, it was much more like “It’s not you(me), it’s me(you).” Now i’m(me) confused! Anyways, a stolen yoga ball then donated actually makes you(you) Robin Hood, and her(the nameless ex who said the whole you/me thing) a dick. I like Chips Ahoy.
Everyone has a dick-ness in them. ‘Nuff said
Balls, dicks, flaming islands, gayest place in the world. I am busy a couple of days and suddenly all gets really confusing here.
Then Annie says she is nice, oh lady, I am so sorry for you. I’ve always thought that the dark side is funnier and much more interesting.
But I think you just say you’re nice to avoid comments but inside yourself you are…. (no I promise myself not to say anything about balls or dick), you are… una de los nuestros. Mala leche con dosis de fina ironia.
That was the spanish part of today. I’ll wait for a while for the translation
oh, i so need to learn spanish
@ fly: You don’t need to learn spanish, it’s all blah, blah, deep fried, blah, well done, blah, blah, futbol, blah, bull fights, anyways! (i’m half spanish so shut up)
well, i went to the States a few weeks back and like, everyone speaks Spanish there.
¡Yo comprendo, este muy importante! I prob mispelled some of that
Ramon: Chips Ahoy? NEIN!
Fly: Agreed. You are a dick, too.
Pedro: I dunno what that means exactly, but something about bad milk?
Yeah, literally “mala leche” is bad milk, but when you say to someone that he/she has “mala leche” it means that that person it’s being nasty, or mean.
So the translation of..
“you are… una de los nuestros. Mala leche con dosis de fina ironia”
should be something like.
You are one of us,a smart ironic and funny nasty person.
Basically that you love kidding and teasing people, half serious, half joking.
i give up. spanish is just too complicated for me. lol.