The Island of Fuego
I am headed out this afternoon to the Fire Island. Do you know this place? It is an island actually made of fire. Everything. The plants, animals, beaches, houses, people. They are all MADE OF FIRE. It will actually BLOW YOUR MIND if you could only withstand the awesome heat of the things made of fire. OK fine, nothing is made of fire. I was lying. It’s just called Fire Island probably because someone made a campfire on it once and they were like, damn what should we call this totally sweet place we discovered and someone was like, how about Campfire Island and people were like, that sounds really lame and like summer campy you are a total douchebag why don’t we just call it Fairy Princess Island? So then the person was like hey, first of all, there is nothing wrong with fairy princesses, they are ROYALTY. Second of all let’s just call it Fire Island then. And everyone was like ok fine. Now many people think of it as the “second gayest place on Earth.” The first would be Provincetown, MA, which truly is the gayest place on Earth. Nice and cute and fun, but like, really, really gay.
Anyway my friend and his family have a house on Fire Island so we are going to go and hang out. When I visit Fire Island I basically sleep. I sleep and sleep and sleep. It is glorious and delicious. Then I wake up to cook. Watch some kind of zombie movie. And then sleep. I go for a walk. Sometimes we try to gather bikes to take a bike ride but that rarely works out because they have like 15 bikes but only 2 of them work. So we have to take all the bikes apart and put them together to make 3 working bikes. It is a real chore and at some point I say, screw this, let’s go sleep. And then everyone says Annniieeee and I’m like, shush I am trying to sleep.
Last night I had dinner with Emeco, the chair design people I sometimes, occasionally, rarely blog for. I am majorly behind on the bloggings. I’m behind on everything. If you go to the site you’ll see a very naked man named Tony sitting on an Emeco chair. He was also at this dinner. I didn’t recognize him because he had clothes on. Those chairs are brutally cold so I’m surprised he could sit on it nood. But he was in the Navy so he’s tough like that. There were also some people from Mono, a Japanese magazine. Dan from Emeco is hilarious. He’s some kind of VP there. I dunno, I forget exactly. He invented chairs. Yeah that’s it. He invented the chair. He is a very important man. He is also not ashamed to cry.
I must applaud you for blogging so much these days. Keep going so that I have a reason to be online like 24 hrs a day.
If there’s one thing you learn in the Navy it’s to place your naked buttocks upon cold furniture.
hey annie, do you get like free chairs from Emeco?
I thought it was called Fire Island because so many flaming flamers who flame vacation there.
What is the third gayest place on earth?
Now if this is fire island, does that mean that “The master of the flame” guy from el pollo loco lives there? I don’t know if you guys see those commercials on the east coast, but he would probably have to live there, being both fire related, and extremely gay. Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
Fly: Yeah I get free chairs to ‘test out’ and write about. They are awesome but like severely cold. I’m sitting in one right now.
Renato: So true. They also learn how to quilt.
Karim: The third gayest I guess would be your dad’s house. No, I guess Disneyland? Barney’s sample sale?
Ramon: They don’t have El Pollo Loco’s out here, but I did love them when I was growing up. There’s Kennedy Fried Chicken, which is like chicken dipped in MSG and then deep fried. Very umami.
you are really into mixing english and spanish, and I see a lot of improvement. I may have to teach you something weekly or so.
BTW Where is that island?
My dad’s house is next to the barney’s sample sale at disneyland. If you didn’t know disneyland hosted sample sales you obviously didn’t have two dads, and you don’t know how difficult it is to grow up shunned because your dad’s house is next to the third gayest place on earth–not the second. But I’m over it, just like your mom.
i would kill to live on fire island…but i’ll jest wait for teh adventures/photos/escpades of annietown’s posts…have fun, and wear yer sunscreen! cheeeee t’anks eh? mahalo plenty
Is Annie EVER going to return? Did the Fairy Princess get her?
Pedro: Gracias (you know I studied Spanish in high school, which was like a thousand years ago, bu still). The island is off of Long Island in NY. It’s not like a tropical island or anything. It’s just kind of a place where rich people have homes, except my friend’s family isn’t rich, they just bought the house back in the day when Fire Island was kind of not so special and cheap.
Karim: I think the third gayest place on Earth isn’t a bad thing. I mean it’s an honor just to be nominated, really. SO getting the bronze is no small feat.
Ian: OH I forgot my camera, as usual. I hate taking pictures. I rather have others take pictures and then send it to me and then I take about fifteen years to post them.
RT: I’m here. I’M HERE. I’ve managed to fight all the fairy princesses and beat their fairy asses to a pulp. Pulled off their wings and everything.