From Spring to King
My neighborhood has been kind of a pigfuck, if I may use that term, because they are filming LAW AND ORDER on my block. This means that the good people who actually live in these buildings get stopped three steps short of their front door by a guy carrying a walkie talkie, talking on his cell phone, and wearing a headset, saying, no, no, you cannot pass through, we are filming. Why is he talking on his cell AND carrying a walkie talkie AND wearing a headset? I don’t know, but it seems like he had communications COVERED. If you need to talk to him, he is definitely available, via different forms of communication. You could probably page him.
Sometimes, I just want to go home and not be stopped by a guy carrying a walkie talkie, you know? Especially, most especially, when I have to pee so bad that my bladder might spontaneously explode and pee oozes through every pore. Not a pretty sight. Perhaps if there were a STAIRWELL I would pee in it. That’s how bad I had to go.
Anyway, later I saw Vincent D’Onofrio get into a car on my street, and then get driven TWO BLOCKS to King Street. I know that he was going to King Street because I, too, was walking from my block toward King and actually beat him to it. On foot. As in, like, hoofing it. I just felt a little empty in side. Vincent, please. Just walk. I promise you fans will not ask for your autograph. Also, to be honest, you look like you can lose a few pounds. The walking might help that. Minimizing both your carbon footprint and your waistline! Zrzly. He was “bloaty.”
I also saw Eric Bogosian. He was rocking a stylish Jewfro. Want to know something funny? My DAD GOT A PERM in the 80’s. Like straight up perm. Not like waves. But a perm. He had a Korean fro, or KorFro. I have pictures to prove it. VERY disturbing. I don’t know why he wanted one. He just did. So he got one. I don’t know if he was trying to look like the Hoff and have these waves, but Korean hair doesn’t really do that. When you perm it, it GETS PERMED. It does not relax. He kind of looked like a pubichead. Which is not a description one wants to assign to one’s dad, but there, I said it.
My mother straightens her hair, but it’s already straight. That is a mystery to me. I don’t even get it.
Yeah… I have it on good authority that D’Onoyoudidn’tfrio is a total douchetard. Your story doesn’t surprise me at all - other than the fact that it was two blocks, not one.
Also: Post a Jewfro pic of your dad! That sounds hilarious. Unlike this comment. Which is boring.
LoL. My mom used to perm my dad’s hair all the time. I don’t think my dad had a choice. LoL.
V.D. has totes been looking large on Criminal Intent. Now we know why.
My best friend has naturally straight, gorgeous hair. She had to get a straightener for xmas though because of drill team. Because they all needed equally straight hair. hmm…so strange.
Johnny Depp was recently shooting scenes for one of his new movies a few towns over. That was kind of sweet.
As for the multi-communications and 2 block limo drive thing…I guess celebrities and their people are just kind of lazy. Although, I’d live to ride in a limo everywhere, I have to be honest.
when i was 5 and my parents first brought me to america, they decided to assimilate me. by giving me and my brother matching perms. so it was my brother and i, walking down the street in our matching FOB uniforms (short shorts and tank tops with engrish phrases on them i imagine) and fabulously permed hair, ready to be molested by asiaphile pedophiles who have a thing for “twins.”
Aaron B.: I mean if you just look at V-Duff he looks like a major A-hole. That stands for asshole in case you were wondering.
FLY: I know, what the hell? My dad did it BY CHOICE. BY CHOICE!!!! AT least your dad had an excuse.
Doretta: He’s heavy with douche.
Maddie: Yeah I once used my mom’s straightener on my hair and it, like, made no difference. I dont’ get it.
Johnny Depp is awesome but I don’t this whole “staying in character all the time forever” thing. It’s kind of annoying and if I were his wife I’d probably beat his ass for being annoying.
Limos are the exception. He was just in a regular car. Not very exciting.
Nondescriptboy: I hope you kept the short shorts and tank tops w/ engrish because American Apparel totally sells that now. It’s the new hot jam.
Annie, when are u going to write another book ?? Happy Birthday or Whatever is soooo good, hilarious ! Waiting to read yr next release. Lots of love and wishes, Annie.