My bad taste is better than your bad taste.
NY Times had a funny little article about books and dating. The way people will judge you based on what you have read or haven’t read. I am the first to admit I haven’t read a lot, which is rare for a “writer.” I am actually a little scared of reading because I worry it will infect my own work or paralyze me with fear. Like why should I even bother writing if this person is so much better and more awesome, I should be ashamed of myself for sucking so hard. Not that I really think that way, but it’s a possibility. Words are really irritating animals, like fruit flies, which I have in my apartment right now and the funny thing is that I have no fruit so it is like they spontaneously appeared out of nowhere. A total mystery. Anyway, this quote struck me:
Judy Heiblum, a literary agent at Sterling Lord Literistic, shudders at the memory of some attempted date-talk about Robert Pirsig’s 1974 cult classic “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance,” beloved of searching young men. “When a guy tells me it changed his life, I wish he’d saved us both the embarrassment,” Heiblum said, adding that “life-changing experiences” are a “tedious conversational topic at best.”
One word: awesome.
Sterling Lord happens to represent me (hi Doug) but more importantly, I was at a party over the weekend and someone actually brought up Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and quoted from it and I had no idea what he was talking about and then he was all, like dude, it’s from Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance and I was like how the hell am I supposed to know that I am not a douche and then I vomited in my own mouth, just a little bit. I don’t know if there’s some kind of anniversary edition out or something, but just so you know, if you’ve read this book, don’t tell me because I will be sad. Or angry. I may throw things at you. I’m not saying you have to read Proust or Sebald or Beckett or anyone else for that matter, just don’t read that book. Read anything but that book. I don’t care if you read The Da Vinci Code twice, read the back of the cereal box, or read palms, just don’t read that book. I want you to promise me. If you have read it, I want you to go to your room and think about what you’ve done. OK, fine, just control-z that shit out of your memory and move on. If you feel like quoting it, then you have been warned. Someone might throw something at you. That someone might be me. Just saying.
Also, I am thinking that everyone who likes and quotes from Zen has a beard. I don’t know if Judy Heiblum’s date had a beard, but he probably did. Not that there’s anything wrong with beards, but I just associate beards and that book. Or maybe a goatee. Some kind of facial hair.
OK, I won’t tell you. If I had read it, it probably would have been a very long time ago and I probably would have gotten over it by now.
“but I just associate beards and that book. Or maybe a goatee. Some kind of facial hair.”
There are smooth-faced dudes into that shit too. Many of them compensate with ponytails.
Do you know what’s really, really sad? People who QUOTE!
I hate people who quote more than you hate fruitflies right now, Annie.
No words. Brilliant
That book maybe famous in the US, but I’ve never heard about it here in Europe, maybe none of my friends, neither me are cult fancy motorcycle readers….
Maybe Judie Hieblum has a beard and you were channelling, like, man.
It’s one of those books that is referanced in this country frequently, without quoting from it I add, by anyone over 35. It changed peoples inner lives like ‘the female eunuch’ changed thier outer lives.
Seminal moment in the breakdown of traditional religious influences over politics and self censorship, basically. Haven’t read it myself actually but have instead gathered from the context in which it’s referanced so much I thought why bother reading it. Might do so in my old age.
I trudged through it and hated every page. “But it’s life changing!” – I kept hearing. When I got to the end, I thew it against the wall. The only change is a big dent in my drywall. Fuck that book. It sucks big chunks through a straw.
Wow. That sounds like a terrible party. I was at a party over the weekend where I drank homemade vodka, ate a bunch ribs, and watched a 92 inch HDTV. Also: The party was at my house. I am amazing.
In other news, CLEAN YOUR APARTMENT ALREADY. Roaches? Fruit flies?! Sweet lord. Do you live in filth or what?
Alex: You’re right, ponytails too. Both are bad. And inexcusable. And punishable by death.
Alice: I like people who quote movies and the Simpsons. It is so endearing. They just have a quote for everything. SO special.
Pedro: THis is why Europe is winning.
Simon: By reading this blog you have promised never to read it. You cannot help it if people talk about it, but you, yourself, as a person with a brain, cannot physically go and buy and read this book.
Debora: I think the chunks are too big to go through the straw. You need a fork.
Aaron B: My apartment is so clean you have no idea. You can eat off my floors. I have no idea where these insects are coming from, I think my neighbor is dead next door. Sweet. Tht means I can take over her place, it is really nice 2 bedroom, rent stabilized.
Your post actually made me sorta
car-wreck curious about it
Oops
Oh. My. Gosh. In high school, I went out with a guy who was reading that book, and HE TOTALLY HAD A HUGE BEARD. I had no idea the book and the beard were related until this moment. If he asks me some day at a high school reunion why I never went on a second date with him, I think I will blame both.
rather than a substance-free rant it would be interesting to read WHY you dismiss Pirsig’s book out of hand. Otherwise, as is said of a certain part of the human anatomy, it’s just “chacun a son gout”
JMo, from one bald, beard-less and NEVER pony-tailed.