Some of you may remember Stephen, the first Homie to kick off the Annietown Special Daft Punk Edition: Homies Around the World. He ended up traveling to the fiftieth state, I believe it’s called Hawaii, to my friend Mike and his lovely family.

Well, guess what?

His family isn’t so lovely. THEY ARE EVIL. PURE HAWAIIAN EVIL, WHICH IS THE WORST FORM OF EVIL KNOWN TO MAN AFTER ALL THOSE POISONOUS SNAKES AND STUFF IN AUSTRALIA. Damn those Hawaiians with their pineapples and their grass skirts. You think, oh they are so nice and relaxed with their baritone ukuleles, but NO. PURE EVIL. Do not let them fool you.

From what I understand, Mike has been exposing poor Stephen to hours and hours of a capella music. It is torture far worse than waterboarding or the rack or the wheel or the iron maiden (sweet) or even…the pear or the Spanish spider (you can look up the last two if you want, but you have been warned.)

Apparently in Hawaii, Homies are a delicacy, just like Spam. Mike decided to cook poor Stephen into a pasta sauce. PASTA SAUCE. Clearly breaking his low-carb diet and in addition, KILLING STEPHEN. Below a recipe to make Homie pasta sauce.

First you chop onions. Then you add a Homie.

Don’t forget the garlic.

Then you PUT THEM IN HOT BURNING OLIVE OIL. Extra virgin. Extra evil. Poor Stephen. When he moved to Hawaii he thought, cool! Rainbows and coconut bras! Never did he think HOMIE PASTA SAUCE.

Add some herb. No not that kind of herb. Something like tarragon. It doesn’t get you high, but it goes better with HOMIE.

Add some shrooms. No not that kind of shroom. Seriously, what is wrong with you? These are just regular non-high-making mushrooms. Dude. Come on. Stephen thinks that if they were the regular high-making shrooms, he’d probably be a lot happier and maybe even OK with being EATEN ALIVE.

Add tomatoes, Homie.

Now you have delicious Homie pasta sauce which will most likely give you horrible indigestion and acid reflux.

Thanks, Mike. I hope Stephen tasted good. You know what else will taste good? MY FIST IN YOUR MOUTH. COME HERE SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS. YOU HOMIE-EATER.

This entry was posted on Thursday, March 13th, 2008 at 10:50 am and is filed under Homies. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.