To Aaron B.: A slap across your face! A dual, sir! I challenge thee!
My compadre Aaron B. believes his extremely stupid and pointless ‘hard gravy/brown gold’ invention is better than my extremely stupid and pointless sticky tape hazmat suit for pets and/or people. He believes he is the Greatest Inventor of All Time. Better than Leonardo da Vinci, Thomas Edison, and that Englishman who invented the Magic Bullet (make salsa in three seconds!). He believes he is better than me.
He is obviously high on little something that rhymes with ‘rack docaine’.
Guess what, Aaron B?
I AM CHALLENGING YOU TO A GRAND INVENTION DUAL IRON CHEF DEATHMATCH CHALLENGE INVENTION-OFF. There will be one winner. There will be one loser. That winner will be me. That means you will be the loser. THE LOSER. I HOPE YOU LIKE TO LOSE BECAUSE YOU ARE REALLY GOOD AT IT.
I have taken off my glove and slapped you across the face. How does that feel, bitch? Does it sting? IT WILL STING WORSE WHEN YOU LOSE. My invention will kick your invention’s ass and stuff it in a locker. It will be an ass-whooping of such epic proportions that you will have to poop out of your mouth because you will be lacking in the ass department on account of the whopping I delivered to your ass only moments before.
The winner (i.e. me) will win one billion dollars and a chance to meet me and an autographed copy of my own book.
We need rules. Aaron B. (THE LOSER) and I leave it up to the readers for the rules and parameters (i.e. invention to do a specific task, invention to use a specific material, invention to make ANNIE A WINNER). Then Aaron B. (THE LOSER) and I will choose three judges based on their skills, background, and dashing good looks.
IT’S ON.
I think this will be fun especially because I WILL WIN.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. You have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into, dude.
Guess what, sucka? THIS WHOLE “INVENTION DEATHMATCH” IDEA IS MY INVENTION, so technically, I’ve already won. (Alex? Thoughts?) This thing is gonna be like taking candy from a baby… Mostly because you are a tiny loud person who constantly soils herself. (Seriously… You should do something about that. It’s embarrassing).
You’re a fool, Annie. Welcome to the jungle.
In addition to judges, you need to find a crazy Asian guy with an Andy Gibb haircut and an ascot to be The Chairman just like on the original Iron Chef series.
YES! This has been the 3rd thing on the top ten things i need to see before I die! I love a good ass-kicking every now and then! Unless the ass in question is mine.
I’ll be responsible for all pools, if that’s okay with ya’ll.
These items must be physically made. There’s no such thing as ‘Intellectual Property.’ Photos - no - moving pictures - must be presented to the judges. A website should be created, especially by someone not me. I have done the hard work already, though, and I am happy to report that http://www.inventionoff.com is available for registration.
can us regulah folk vote for the winner on poll or through a vLog?
Annie, not that you are in danger of losing, but just to make sure, perhaps you should turn your sticky hazmat suit into a hard hazmat suit - ie a hazmat suit equipped with a flask or two. I’d wear that shit. Also, I kind of want you to win because if you have a million dollars then you can pay for all our meals from now until the end of time. And also, I’d want to be there to witness when you meet yourself.
Ok so we have to set up some rules and so on, isn’t it.
First you should set up the scenario;Like you are meeting somewhere and doing a demo? are you truly fabricating a prototype? will you put some pictures on the web? Can we ask both of you to use same time, resources and any shared material?
Also the way of voting, and winners prize. For the later I would say that the loser has to wear in a public appearance either his/her own invention or the winners invention, this is to be decided by the winner.
Public appearance means also pictures on the web.
Aaron: You are going down faster than your hooker of a mom.
Steve: That’s impossible. No one can replace the Chairman. No one.
Maddie: You got it. But you realize I’m going to win, right?
Babaa: OK, that’s our first rule! Physically made objects. Photos. (I don’t have a video camera because I am poor. Aaron is too stupid to have a video camera ha ha ha.)
Ian: I will see if my stupid blog has that kind of computing power. It sounds complicated.
Aura: Is that another rule? The inventions must be ‘hard’? Also, When I meet myself I will die from happiness and be unable to meet myself. It’s so confusing.
Pedro: I think we are fabricating a ‘prototype’ and photos and/or video will be involved. As for resources/shared material, I ain’t sharing shit with that jackhole. We can have a ’secret ingredient’ that we use or we can have a specific task. I leave that up to you. As for the prize. I like the public humiliation aspect.
All right, so based on the insults…Annie’s winning.
aura, you know that annie can talk hella stink…she’s LA transplant living in a NY shoebox! living in either of those places would make anyone normie nucking futs…but then again, i’m hella crazy and i live in “the yay areaa” LMAO
Fabricating an actual invention? Awesome! I love it. This obviously favors me, because I’m great with my hands… Just ask Annie’s mom.
Question: Seeing as this is an Invention DEATHMATCH, should there be more than one round? Like, maybe three rounds with a different kind of invention each time rather than just one invention apiece? I only say this because me trouncing Annie in just one round seems a little anticlimactic… On the other hand, me stomping Annie three times in a row might be like beating a dead horse… If for no other reason than Annie’s got the face for it. W-w-willllburrrr!
I think photos are a great idea. You know what? when I win, I want a photo of Annie wearing a shirt that says “Aaron is The Master” on it. What size are you, Annie? Am I going to need to go the Baby Gap?
Aaron B: OK three rounds. As in one round to beat the living crap out of you, a second round to curb you so you shut the the fuck up, and a third round to cut your body into little pieces and hide them from the authorities. We’ll take photos of our inventions. Still waiting for invention ideas. And if I have to shop at baby Gap you are clearly shopping at Fat Ned’s Fat House of Fat Discount Apparel for Fat People Warehouse of Fatties.
OK, we should put some timeline for this. Like a week for each round, and votes can be made as the next round goes on.
I guess first round should be the actual prototype of the invention.We can evaluate in terms of usefulness, innovation, how crapy or neat the prototype is and so on…
Second one could be performance rating with demos of the actual invention doing something (video will be very useful for this) and well, we have time to decide about the third once we have the actual prototypes on the table.
Since it’s a DEATHMATCH will there be any death involved? Does the winner or loser die?
Is he the same ‘Aaron’ as in your book?
Pedro: Sounds good. Aaron B is out of town this week obviously busy being a douchebag. WHen he returns there will be blood.
Tracyene: The loser, i.e., AARON B. will die. Painfully. IN a most humiliating way.
Fly: Nope different Aaron. This one is LOSER Aaron B.