Greatest Invention of All Time
I eat a lot of toast. I think I have mentioned this before, somewhere. I eat many pieces of toast a day. In the process of making and eating toast, I sometimes leave crumbs. I happen to be very conscientious about leaving crumbs, but toast is full of crumbs. In fact, it’s like crumbs stuck together and shaped into a piece of bread. So no matter how careful I am, I leave crumbs. Then I have to vacuum, etc. Sometimes I want to chase myself around my apartment with a vacuum cleaner while I eat toast.
So, what if I made some kind of bib out of sticky tape? Then all the crumbs fall and hit the tape. OH MY GOD I AM BRILLIANT. I WILL BE RICH DO NOT EVEN THINK ABOUT STEALING MY IDEA.
Then I was thinking how all my friends with pets always have lint rollers and complain about the hair situation. So why not make it easier by making some kind of overcoat or smock out of lint rollers? It’d be a lot easier than shaving your cat. Then when you leave the house, you can take it all off and ta da your clothes are pet hair free! Or you can make a lint roller outfit for your pet. I mean if pets can wear sweaters and hoodies the can certainly wear lint rollers. I should get the patent on this pronto.
Frank Gehry has a patent on the “fish shape.” Can you believe that? I didn’t until someone showed it to me on the U.S. Patent Office website. It seems ridiculous that one can own a patent on a shape. You’d think that fish would own the patent on that one. If I were a fish, I’d be pretty pissed. I’d get a patent on Frank Gehry-shaped things and then sue him for being shaped like Frank Gehry.
I like your idea.
However, something I DON’T like is the title of this post… Clearly, my “Hard Gravy” invention is much closer to “The Greatest Invention of All Time” - because, among other things, it gets you smashed! And it’s GRAVY, aka “Brown Gold”. That sounds dirty… But I assure you, Brown Gold is mucho delicious.
Also, I think they already invented your invention: http://www.stickysheets.com/index.html
Sorry, dude.
Aaron: That’s just flat sheets of sticky crap. I’m talking about full outfits and protective gear for you or your pet. That’s, like, so different. I think we should have an Invention-off and do an invention cagematch with your hard gravy and my sticky hazmat suit.
I think that if we put together 250 homies throughout your walls, we convert your floor to a sticky surface, make a rain of crumbs and use a remote controled hologram of you with a vacuum cleaner, we start to have some fine contemporaty art performance about condense urban living in Manhattan. A manifesto in pro of tiny apartments. Worth recording. Maybe you could eventually patent it.
By the way, architects’ EGOS are HUGE and we love to think that we have invented everything even the wheel, so as the genius that we are, of course we patent everything. from black dressing to sleeping on the floor and of course any shape we create, that’s why you cannot repeat buildings like you repeat cars, you would have to pay for intelectual copyright.
Pedro: Got it, but I’m not saying that we should be allowed to build another Ford Pinto or another Gehry building, but it seems silly that he can have a claim over an entire shape! A fish shape! FISH SHAPE. I wish there were lawyers who read this stupid blog to explain the law to me but they are probably busy making cash monies.
No, Annie, you misunderstood me. I AM WITH YOU.
For me it´s stupid that Gehry has patented a fish shape, I mean, it’s unbelieveable that he actually could do so. Also it is stupid that we cannot use a valid solution more than once because someone will claim intellectual property, it is like not being able to use a food recipe more than once.
So I also don’t understand why architects wants to invent everything from the begining every time, it makes no sense. And actually in gehry nothing makes sense, it’s horrible itself.
Pedro: Wait, is that true?! You can’t repeat a building’s design without paying for the copyright? That is insane. That almost makes me wish I could do math… Almost.
Annie: You don’t want to meet “Brown Gold” in a cage situation, friend. Trust me on this. However, if you want to start an invention battle Iron Chef style where we each get a “Secret Ingredient” and then have to create an invention around that, I’m game! It’ll be just like the Science Olympiad in Middle School!
I’m a lawyer on a short break from making cash monies. A patent on a fish shape doesn’t make sense to me, though. Patents are supposed to be for inventions — except for design patents, which cover ornamental features of a practical object. But Gehry shouldn’t be able to get a design patent on the general shape of a fish for all purposes — it would have to be a particular and distinctive style of fish shape, and the patent would only cover that shape when it was applied to a particular object that doesn’t have a functional need to look exactly that way. Did you get the patent number?
Alex, you are right.
I think what Annie was refering is one of these two scultpures that Gerhy has. He has made various sculptures with a fish shape.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/gwen_fm/118788767/
http://www.flickr.com/photos/mozu/348725005/
first one in Barcelona and second one in Japan. I guessed he did the pantent to get money in case anyone wants to do merchandise with the image of the sculpture.
(sorry for writing so many coments Annie)
Wow, I’m so not in touch with architecture ever since i moved to UAE. I didn’t even know Gehry is obsessed with fish.
Alex: How much do you bill out for reading this blog? ha ha ha no that makes a lot of sense that it’s applied to a sculpture. Here’s what I found on the Patent Office site.It is for a fish-shaped…cushion. Hahaha
Pedro: I also found a patent for a fish-shaped tortilla chip. Not Gehry’s though.
Fly: It’s probably good that you didn’t know. Now you can’t control-z your way out of this knowledge.
I don’t know Aaron…hard gravy,though bad ass, would most likely find itself stuck on Annie’s sticky outfit. Then it would be stuck and vulnerable to whatever strength the hazmat has.
Oh, and in the case of claiming shapes, i claim the rectangle. Think about how rich I would be! Not to mention all those math books would have to pay me to use it. I’m smelling money already.
That is genius. I would like to sign up for a lint roller jacket please.
That’s probably about 0.2 to “Admin.” The hourly rate for client billable stuff is … a lot. I’m not cheap, but at least I’m easy.
That cushion would be preposterous if it weren’t so stupid-looking. It doesn’t even look like a fish, more like an abstraction of a Goldfish cracker, which when viewed from the side appears to need half of a training bra. It’s a good thing Gehry doesn’t do snack foods and Pepperidge Farms doesn’t do furniture … well, actually maybe it’d be a good thing if they did do those things, because that would mean more work for me. I bet some tool gave Gehry a design award for it, though.
Camryn: I would like totally make oen and send it to you but the USPS would steal it just like your Homie (dropped one in the mail to you yesterday).
Alex: Seriously. I do not know why Gehry has a patent on that thing because no one who is sober will want to make it or buy it.
My sister actually takes a lint roller to her cat: she rubs it on his furry belly and he purrs. Freaking weird-ass animal. Based on this non-evidential evidence, I feel that your lint-roller suit will be improbably popular with small animals.