I like soup.
I made soup last night. I made enough soup for ten people, which was nine more than I needed. I don’t know what happened, but all of the sudden I had enough soup to feed a nation. This is one of those situations, like the Homies, where I’d MAIL SOUP to people. But if the USPS is going to steal Homies, you know they’re going to steal soup. Everyone likes soup. Like everyone. I mean it. Every culture/country has a soup. Hmm, they think, all I have is this carcass and a turnip and I am hungry and oddly thirsty too. I wonder what I can make? Ding, ding, ding SOUP.
The soup is roasted butternut squash. It looks like pureed sunshine. And it tastes delicious. It tastes like fairies. If you do not know what fairies taste like, then all I can say is that it tastes like my soup. I had a squash sitting on top of my fridge for a week and I got sick of looking at it. I mean I lugged the thing home from the store and it just sat there taunting me on top of my rice cooker which is on top of my fridge which is on top of my floor which is on top of my downstairs neighbor who is about a thousand years old and smokes so much I can smell cigarettes when I pass his door. So the squash says to me, ha ha ha, I am going to rot before you eat me, you suck! I hate you! So then I got severely angry and thought, hey squash, you know what? I’m going to eat the crap out of you and we’ll see who will be taunting who, you jackass. Then I realized I was sitting in my kitchen, which is also my bedroom, talking to a squash.
So, I thought I would roast it. So I roasted it. Then I thought, hmm, it is cold outside. You know what would be delicious? Soup. Let me make a soup. So I did (roasted onions, carrots, an apple, vegetable stock, cardamom, cinnamon, thyme, a muddy boot, fairies, children, and fairy children). Then all of the sudden I was pureeing for like half an hour and had more soup then I knew what do with. It’s not like I can make anything else out of soup, you know? Like I can’t bread it and deep fry it or something. So I had about a quarter of a bowl and decided, you know what? I’m gonna go out to dinner. Because quite frankly, I was sick of the soup even though I hadn’t really eaten it. I don’t know if that ever happens to you. But I cook something and then I never want to eat it even though it’s perfectly delicious. So now my fridge is full of soup. SOUP!
I keep getting outbid on Homies, it’s really irritating. I looked everywhere for a vending machine. Please sit tight I will have Homies shortly.
why are you buying homies? i though you got rid of your homies!
also, your ingredient list reminded me of the stone soup story.
Dude, you CAN make something out of soup… Gravy! Or as I call it, “Depression Eraser”.
Also, I have come up with an invention - Hard Gravy. It is alcoholic gravy. So you can eat turkey and get messed up at the same time! Thoughts?
Have you considered that maybe you are like Jesus, you know with the loaves and the fishes? Like, maybe you only made enough soup for one, but because you are divine it magically filled up enough bowls for 10? maybe you will soon have disciples and god (your papa) knew that and wanted you to be able to feed them soup?
also, thumbs up to hard gravy, aaron.
also, MY next door neighbor also smokes so much that I can smell it outside his door. it’s pretty foul. like, dude, open a window once in a while! fishbowling is only fun when you’re 15 and riding around getting high in someone’s car.
He probably doesn’t smoke that much; his door just needs weatherstripping.
I noticed the same thing in a short-term rental I stayed in recently, where the apartment doors all had like half-inch gaps under them so not only could you smell whatever people were cooking, smoking, etc., when you passed by their doors in the hallway, but you could also pretty much hear whatever they were talking about or watching on TV as you went past as though you were right there in the room with them. Apartment living, gotta love it.
Now you’ve made me hungry for soup! And fairy children…but i don’t know where the hell to find them.
At least you’ll have soup leftovers for the next five months…for when these sudden cravings for soup occur again.
And I’m very glad that you put that squash in his place.
jayinchicago: I know, people want them, what can I do? I figured it’s all part of Annietown: Daft Punk Edition.
Aaron: Gravy popsicles would be nice too. Gravy shakes. All hard of course.
Aura: I think if I become Jesus then I will make Koreans the new chosen people and give the Jews a break. Then maybe, just maybe, I’ll rotate out the chosen ones every month or so, just to make it democratic. I’d be a very democratic jesus.
Alex: This entire building needs weatherstripping. I can hear my neighbors fight all the time about stupid crap. I feel like I should chime in from time to time. No YOU’RE being unreasonable!
oops aaron, I thought you were aaron. but you’re not - you’re aaron. still, I like your hard gravy idea.
Usually what happens to me when I cook it’s that I start eating things around while cooking, cheese, fruit, peanuts, whatever is around, so when I finish cooking I am not hungry anymore. But it has a positive point. I usually cook for lunch on weekends, so I just leave it for dinner.
By the way, I don’t like soup, so I guess it is more like everybody likes soup but Pedro. I have a real problem with that. For me, drink equals something cold, so I cannot drink anything hot, my stomach would not tolerate it.
P.S. Democratic Jesus? that’s a starting point but I am not very sure of the game.
No problem, Aura! I get mistaken for Aaron all the time, actually. That’s why I prefer people call me by my Christian name… “Christian”.
maddie: Dude. I’ve been eating the soup for like 3 meals straight and it looks like I haven’t eaten any of it. I really am jesus.
Pedro: There’s nothign really wrong with soup. It’s not like i totally LOVE soup, but I don’t really hate it or anything. But now I have a ton of it. And I am kind of hating it now.
Aaron: I thought your Christian name was “Jew”?
Hi Annie, and y’all. If your soup’s not to thick you can add flour to make it into a batter. let it stand for a few hours or overnight and then make pancakes with it. A bit of honey on top too. ciao.
So now, instead of your squash taunting you, your soup will be sitting there saying, “Ha! You thought you could get rid of me?! I’ll show you who’s boss!”
So, um, good luck with that.
Annie, I think you’re confusing my Christian name with my Muslim name: “Kareem Abdul-Jewbar”.
You can buy 250 Homies for $49.99 on this vending machine site:
http://www.gumball-machine.com/vending-toys-2.html
I got my homie, I got my homie!!! Well, as I had expected it to arrive while I was on leave last week. Poor homie has been sitting in the envelope at my work desk over the last few days. I’ve taken a couple of pics of the Homie ‘at work’ this morning and will post them via Facebook.
Thanks Annie! …and sorry for changing my Annietown name for like the 4th time now just to confuse your blog page.
Soup? It reminds me of Ratatouille (probably the wrong spelling)…and that leads to a question I’ve been wanting to ask Annie…is your ‘Palace’ as small as Linguini’s?
250 homies!!!! wow, that’s too much, that is starting to be a homie army, spreading throughout the world. worth seeing.
Simon: Ooo, that sounds good. I’ve never had butternut squash pancakes. It would be kind of savory then? And sweet?
Lindsay: Many things inside my apartment taunt me on a regular basis.
Doretta; Dude, if I had a HOMIE VENDING MACHINE in my apartment that would be so amazing. And redonk.
Fly: Sweet!!!! Your pix are sweet. Fly is very happy. Linguini’s palace had the sweet view of Paris. I have a sweet view of my neighbor who kind of sucks it big time. She’s always on the phone on the fire escape chattng really loudly, as if no one else can hear her, meanwhile everyone in the building knows about her boyfriend problems.
Pedro: If i had 250 Homies in my apartment it would seriously fill the whole thing. Good art project.