Chuca feels empty inside. She thinks. She ponders. She thinks some more in a ponderous fashion. She wonders what it all means. She is confused. She has many questions, but who has the answers? She wants to take a pilgrimage to “find herself.” Chuca doesn’t actually know what she will find, whether it will be herself or someone else. But she decides to go to the one place that always has all the answers.

No, not India. Michelle’s apartment in Portland, Oregon.

Michelle explains quickly that it’s pronounced “Or-uh-gun.” She hates it when people say “Or-uh-GONE.” Don’t sound stupid, Michelle warns, or else no one will like you. Chuca nods. She understands. She has been around a lot of stupid people and understands what that’s like. Michelle introduces Chuca to some very spiritual people. One is a reformed race car driver. He used to drive very fast but realized that while driving very fast, he was letting life pass him by. He came to Michelle’s apartment in Portland, Or-uh-gun to learn how to live slowly and deliberately, you know, like Thoreau. Chuca says, uh, whatever. You’re a Lego. It’s not like your life is that hard. You drive a race car, please. You have everything going for you. You’re Danish. She then meets Black Cupid. Chuca says she’s never met a black Cupid before. Black Cupid says that he is like a black angel, have you ever met a black angel before? Chuca says no. Black Cupid explains, look, it’s a long story. Just know I can make your life really shitty and in addition difficult. Why so angry, Chuca asks? Black Cupid says it’s part of the job, don’t take it personally. Chuca is wondering if finding herself was such a good idea.

Chuca meets the Buddha. Immediately, Chuca feels calm. Buddha has some kind of balmy energy. It could also be the handful of Valiums the reformed Lego race car driver had slipped her, but for now let us pretend Chuca has found peace. She and Buddha talk. She rubs his belly for good luck. Buddha gets pissed though. Do not rub my belly without asking me first. Chuca apologizes. She is happy now, you see. She has found peace in Or-uh-gun. She can’t wait to tell Michelle the good news, but Michelle is not at home. She is an architecture student. She may never come home again. But Chuca is OK with that. She asks Buddha if she can rub his belly and Buddha rolls his eyes and says fine, but then later you have to make me a sandwich.

Thanks, Michelle!

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