Homie in Guimaraes
Alice lives in Guimaraes, which is in Portugal. Portugal is in Europe. Europe is on a continent. It’s one of seven continents, actually. Alice received her Homie, safe and sound.
For some reason Alice’s Homie is very sad. In fact, her name is Sad Girl. Why so sad? No idea, she just moved to beautiful Portugal to live with a nice lesbian family and their dog! This nice lesbian family, plus the dog (who may or may not be lesbian), are all afflicted with a rare form of gigantism. Check out her new home, it’s afflicted with gigantism too! There’s no reason why this menina should not be, uh, not feliz.
Turns out Sad Girl is sad because she is an illegal immigrant to Portugal and now she must work for this nice lesbian family. They treat her well, but Sad Girl is sad. She takes care of a very large baby who sleeps in a very large crib. Sad Girl cannot believe what a pain in the ass this baby is with all the crying and the wanting to be fed on a semi-regular basis.
Sad Girl must walk the nice lesbian family’s dog. Which also doubles as a horse. It’s a very adorable dog/horse. But, man, its poop is the size of a smaller dog/horse.
Sad Girl goes to bed. She decides that the nice lesbian family afflicted with a rare form of gigantism is very nice and will love her, though most likely not in a lesbian way. She sleeps wondering if gigantism is contagious. She’s pretty sure lesbian is not contagious, but she’s not sure about gigantism. Then she decides even if it was, she’d be OK with it. That is when Sad Girl realizes her tears are actually tears of joy.
Thanks Alice!
The two Portuguese homies should start some sort of expat homie community. Jesse agrees to show Sad Girl a “good time”. I don’t know what he means by it, but it probably involves knives.
Annie, (nice to meet you through Alice’s blog) this is the most hilarious story I read today! Thanks for the laughter!!!
Wow, This Portuguese Homie Drama is really exciting, I really wanna watch the next chapter, what would happen to Sad Girl, it´s totally intriguing. Shall she become a giant, would the lesbian family try to have some lesbian sex with her, will she try to scape a find some new pupepts, I wanna now more, please.
You should compile all this homie crazy thing somehow Annie, it´s amazing, I don’t know, a lot of stupìd ideas go through my mind…..
I really like the picture of Ice Cold looking the snow through the window, really cool.
Renato: I think Sad Girl and El Charro should hook up and make Homie babies that you can then have other lesbians adopt.
Suzanne: Your welcome! Alice’s Homie pictures are awesome. A dollhouse! Brilliant! I will send you one too as soon as I get more.
Pedro: I think Sad Girl will end up running away. But not very far. Maybe to like the living room or something. I can’t wait to get more Homies. I need like another website for this crap.
Annie, you can just get your blog published as a book. I love the sad girl’s story— the ending is so positive, too!
Annie, yesterday I left Sad Girl in her bed, in my daughter’s doll house.
That homie is so small, and she never plays with her house in a regular basis, but today, in the morning she came to me with Sad Girl in her hand : “Mom, what is THIS?? It was living in my doll house!!
Sad girl has just been evicted. Stupid landlords.
Sujin: I don’t think anyone wants to publish a blog. Why get it on paper and pay for it, when you can get it online for free?
Alice: Oh dear. You should sue the landlords. You’d think they’d be all nice and just being lesbian and all, but I guess I am wrong about that. Maybe Sad Girl will find a better home and family.