The Beehive State
Do you ever look at something again for the very first time and you are like, ohhhhhhhh and then you have some kind of “spiritual awakening” and feel alive and your whole take on life changes and you feel “refreshed” or “rejuvenated” like you just woke up the F up and you think, damn, where the hell have I been?
Yeah, neither have I.
However, I am sitting here working and realized, you know what? My compartment apartment is shaped like the state of Utah. Very curious.
Interestingly, Utah’s state motto is “Industry.” Which might be (slightly) better than D.C.’s pathetic “Taxation without Representation.”
I live in Utah! It kind of sucks here.
Annie, your book is great, and I love your wry sense of humor. This is coming from a Korean, who is also an Architect… so I could potentially take offense on two seperate fronts. But somethings are too funny to be insulting.
HOWEVER… As a DC resident, you might have a different opinion of the DC motto, if you were one of the half a million residents with out a vote in Congress.
I mean, we have the same representation as Puerto Rico or Guam.
Trust me, it’s not a motto that we bear with pride. It’s more akin to a raw sphincter, with out a tube of Preparation H.
Bryan C: I’m glad you liked the book, despite the fact that it’s not about architecture (lowercase a, come on, we don’t capitalize history, why capitalize architecture?). I got a complaint from a dude who was shocked that it was not about architecture and I’m like dude, I write other things. But thanks! I totally understand DC’s motto, it just seems weird to put it on a license plate because, like, it’s kind of a negative thing. “I’ve got the clap!” You know, something like that. I wrote a post about it somewhere. D.C. was a stop on my MONSTERS OF MEMOIR tour and I remember being like, dude, DC motto. Sad. Yet true. But more sad. Also, the clap!
They capitalized “History” on my 7th grade report card. They also capitalized the letter “D” right next to it.
How’s that for a downer license plate?
Washington DC
“I got a D in History”
Bryan: Ouch. That is like a double punch to the left and right nuts.
Now really…
How could you possibly know what “a double punch to the nuts” is like?
Bryan C: EMPATHY
Come on, why would you capitalize EMPATHY?
I don’t capitalize architecture nor history…
It would be cool if whoever came up with the DC slogan went into advertising. It would be like:
Colgate-tooth decay!
Tilex-shower scum!
Band-Aid-open wounds!
Well maybe it wouldn’t be cool. But still, it would be something.
utah eh? mormon country!
애니야 !
get MSN messenger on ur PC.
Annie,
Hi I read your book or whatever. As a resident of the beehive state you might try to adopt some of the beehive spirit. Imagine that you are one of many tiny creatures working toward a common goal. Less chitchat, more work. A lttle less,”oh my gosh and stuff life is so crazy…” and more slugging it out for the hive. What does the hive require of you?
Not really related but I had a clear map of the states shower curtain a few apartments ago. The states spelled in all caps, faced outward. In the shower I started reading the states backward and there was HATU. And OIHO. Whooo exciting!
Mike: It’d be more like “You have bad teeth” or “Your shower smells bad” or “Why are you bleeding again?”
Ian: I know! There are Mormons all over my apartment.
James: The hive requires me to kick back and take a nap I think.
Debora: My shower curtain is so boring. It’s clear. I figure, why make my bathroom cute? It’s so depressing, might as well just give in to it.
Annie you have a unique probletunity,
Based on a couple of things I have read by you regarding architecture, I gather you have a profound respect for architects. That said, I am an architect in Portland, Oregon and I have a couple of simple suggestions.
Mirrors dude. They make spaces feel bigger. Put them some place you can see some other part of your apartment but not necessarily yourself. You don’t want your friends to think you’re all narcisicystic fibroasted.
Also, “The Borrowed View” One thing they do in Chinese gardens (I know you’re not Chinese but apparently you don’t have to be) is to frame some beautiful thing outside even if only through a very tiny window. Can you think of that beautiful thing? The idea is that it pulls your eye outward, relating your small, dirty apartment to the vastness of the world outside.