Vitamins
Sometimes I am in the mood for a soda and I think hey, I will drink a soda. Why not? I should “live a little.” But then I discovered Diet Coke Plus and I got very sad. Do you know about this? It is totally ridiculous. It’s Diet Coke PLUS vitamins. Look, I drink Diet Coke specifically because it does not have vitamins. I do not want my Diet Coke to be healthy. I want it to rot my teeth until they’re little nubs and I have to throw all my food in a blender to eat it or get the fancy titanium bone graft implants that my dad has (who interestingly enough, rarely drinks soda). I want my body to be filled with all that glorious high fructose corn syrup and caffeine and whatever MSG type crap they put in their “secret recipe” that makes Coke so MF flavorful and delicious. I want all of this, yes. Listen, Diet Coke, you are not fooling anyone. I know your little games. Coke will never be healthy unless you replace it with water and call it Coke. Just saying. I guess the idea is that someone will want a Coke and think, hey, why not get Coke with vitamins? Anyway, the moral of this sad, sad story is that you should take vitamins if you want vitamins and drink Coke if you want Coke. And never the two shall meet. OR I guess we can go the other way and add Coke to salad. Like if you’re going to eat vitamins, might as well eat corn syrup and caffeine. It is an idea. Diet Coke with Salad.
I have a new blog post up at Emeco. This time it’s an open letter to Philippe Starck. Also if you are Australian and you are an architect and you are part of the Royal Australian Institute of Architects, then check out this week’s newsletter. I have written an open letter to all of you. I will post up the PDF’s here when I get them. This whole newsletter thing is very random. And since the first piece of hate mail I ever received was from an Australian architect, it makes it all the more awesome and strange at the sametime.
i wonder if you drink diet vitamin coke while sitting in an Emeco chair (like you said/wrote) in the Emeco blog? (*pondering*)
First off pop has been ruined in this country for the past twenty some odd years when they switched from HFCS instead of sticking to sugar. Just about everywhere else they use sugar- either beet or cane but in this part of the world the evils of corn syrup exist to torment the American consumer. Now you can blame sugar tariffs and the Midwest farm lobbyists for that one but high fructose corn syrup is absolute shite and the man who invented it (in Iowa no less) should be hung, drawn and quartered and run over by a Buick.
That having been said these days when I opt to drink nice fizzy drinks I go for the diet stuff (namely b/c the number of calories in regular pop just seems so damned depressing) I try to stick with crap sweetened by Splenda. Doesn’t leave a nasty an aftertaste as Nutrasweet/asparteme. Granted artificially sweetened soft drinks usually have two faux sweeteners to cancel each other out. Some thing about two bitter tastes rubbing each other out like a smack deal gone bad and all the playas whip out their gats and start busting caps as if it were going out of style.
There are exceptions. Dr. Pepper- at least in Texas- is still made with sugar. Coke with yellow caps that’s kosher for Passover is made w/ sugar. And Broylan’s which has to be the best of the bunch of the microbrew soda markets has always been made w/ sugar and has nice intense flavors. IOW if you’re gonna poison your bod with crap it might as well be w/ high quality. Why settle for cheap rock when you can get get some primo Bolivian marching powder.
Course then there’s some med research done that artificial sweeteners aren’t good for people either since it still fools the pancreas into insulin production and all that shit. Well life sucks, wear a helmet, and grab a straw so you can suck it up.
It’s a good thing I’m very tired right now because, otherwise, learning that they are making Coke with vitamins would make me angry. I’m too tired to be angry right now. Maybe I’ll be angry tomorrow.
Yesh, I eat bad things because I know they are bad for me. I mean, I like apples but does that sound as appealing to me as ice cream? Hell no.
Nice, your first hate mail was someone from my country. I feel honored. I think.
Ian: I am, in fact, sitting in my Emeco chair. It is very, very cold. Even with my blankie it is very cold.
Brother Mike: Word to that. That is what I always say, wear a helmet and grab a straw. Hahaha. I just drink club soda now. For the fizzy. Then I add juice, for the mad flava. Then I am sad because I cannot add caffeine.
Mike Christoff: Oh you will be angry when you wake up. And you will still be angry when you go to bed. Diet Coke Plus, it’s liek Diet Coke Plus Anger.
Prink: Dude everyone always choose ice cream over apples. It’s like yes, we are adults. We know ice cream is not good for us, but guess what? IT IS DELICIOUS. If you get apples to taste like ice cream I will eat the apples and the ice cream. Who wouldn’t? Also: when I got the first hate mail I was like Australia! I thought everyone was not uptight and in general pretty jolly even though there are MAN EATING SNAKES everywhere. I was expecting hate from England or something. But no. It was Australia. You should be proud.
this was sent to me by an Australian architecht…..
I think what you want is a drink that might be more properly called “Diet Croak.”