Abitare
“Dear Architects” appears in this month’s Abitare Magazine, an Italian/English magazine on art, architecture, interior design, and other industries that involve black clothing (including the black clothing industry itself). The cover story is about “daily life in Rem Koolhaas’ Bordeaux home.” The photo features a plump maid who I assume works for DJ Jazzy Rem Koolhaas. People tell me that his two personal assistants are called PARK’s, which stands for Personal Assistant Rem Koolhaas. Hahaha oh man I cannot make this shit up. So there’s PARK1 and PARK2, and I have a feeling that’s part of their email addresses too. I would also like to have a personal assistant, but the only person I can afford is myself, which defeats the entire purpose of having one.
Anyway, “Dear Architects” appears in the special “The Reader” pullout section and the letter is translated into Italian, alongside the English version. It came out a few days ago, which explains why I received a piece of Italian hate mail the other day. I got it, and I was like cool! It’s in Italian! I wonder what it says? Then I Babelfished it and it was all very confusing and a total mess, so I had Chris translate and once he got to the word “imbecile” I figured out pretty quickly that it was in fact, a letter of hate, and not one of love or even tepid acknowledgment. However, the writer did apologize for writing in Italian, which I thought was very polite. As if to say, “I HATE YOU, YOU ARE AN IMBECILE. P.S. Sorry for writing this hate mail in Italian so it’s harder for you to understand how much I hate you.” Touche, Italy. Well played.
Re: PARK 1 and PARK 2–does this mean they are honorary Koreans?
I think it’s worth digging a bit more into the whole Koolhaas universe. When I’ve been working in Rotterdam, Rembo’s capital, I heard all sorts of weird stories and urban legends around this person such as: “A friend of a friend’s cousins brother works as an intern for Koolhaas, and he was send to the model shop and there was no car available, so Koolhaas gave him his brand new Maserati and he wrecked it!” . Yeah, right. Maserati. I mean, this isn’t exactly the kind of car you use to transport an architectural model. Also you might want to check out this tiny peace some students did: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGGVD00×4XU
As an architect,(and even a European one who has met the person AND saw the buildings), I love your article. Even more, all my non-architect friends. I guess you should all meet in some global ‘non-architects friends of architects’-convention and exchange. Well, I guess I’ll go to work now, slept for 5 hours already and it’s only Saturday!;-)
is it true that “koolhaas” have to be pronounced as “cool-ass” in dutch?
[...] Annie’s Dear Architects - originally published in Pidgin 2 - has been translated into Italian and published in this months Abitare magazine. Annietown.com for more info.1. Oct 2007Annie in Abitare [...]
I’ve actually had the privilege to watch the man called Rem in action at a lecture in Dallas, once upon a midnight dreary (evening, to be more accurate). The man is the cross between Ichabod Crane & Lurch (of the Addams Family) & is about as interesting as a loud air conditioner.
Doretta: Obviously, Park-won and Park-doo.
Gunnar: I’m sure DJ Jazzy Rem Koolhass would not give a lowly architect a Maserati. I bet he’s on the cheap side and made the dude take the bus.
ThirskUK: No idea, but we can just call him LL Kool J or Lil’ Kool or Young Kool-z, Kool Mo-Dee, Mos Rem, K-rock, I can just keep going on and on.
Megaron: Gregg the CEO of Emeco (the chair company I’m blogging for) said he was at a some big gala thing and went up to some guy and introduced himself and was like and who are you again? “I’m Rem Koolhaas.” Oh. D’oh. My air conditioner is very very interesting.
Pardon me, I meant no offense to your air conditioner, unless its name is Rem Koolhaas…….
If this were the 80’s DJ Jazzy Rem Koolhaas would be the opener for Fab 5 Freddy
or helping shabba doo keep the rec center open. (awesome name, just brings me down that its attached to a person that is not so far removed from a unit that keeps the room cool)
Hi, we translated your letter into spanish in a post in our blog urbalis.wordpress.com. As we thought that annie choi was a nom_de_plume, we didn’t try to look you up to ask for your permission. Sorry for that. We’ll tell our readers that you are real, alive and kicking so that you can get some hate mail in spanish as well. Would you be interested in an e-mail interview to clarify your relationship with architects? By the way, many people think that you ARE an architect in disguise!
Ian: Worry not my friend, I am sure LL Koolhaas likes to keep it real. I bet when you get some Q-time, face to face with him, he is a real barrel of laughs. I bet he does that thing where it looks like he’s walking down the stairs, except you know he’s not really walking down stairs.
Urbalis: It’s OK you can post the letter, everyone else has. I am most certainly NOT an architect in disguise. I’ve gotten some mail where people tell me I am mad because I didn’t get into architecture school which is so absurd I can’t even tell you. I can do an email interview if you want. If you want to do it in Spanish all I can really say is “Donde esta mi perrito?” so just ask me questions where that can be my answer.
Okay…. But would Park-won and Park-doo be included in his crew or just be featured artists? No, wait, it would be LL Koolhaas releases the solo album, then the mixtape introducing Park-won and Park-doo, then they’d be in the full crew, so people wouldn’t be confused if they went to a show expecting to see LL Koolhaas.
Ciao Annie!
Sono un architetto, e vivo a Firenze, in Italia.
Il mio inglese è brutto perché è tradotto automaticamente da un sito internet, scusami!!
Ho letto l’articolo, è incredibile ma noi architetti a volte sappiamo leggere, ho letto l’articolo ed ho riso, ci sono molte verità in esso.
Penso che forse dovremmo stare molto più attenti alla qualità e rinunciare alla vanità, ma credo che questo ovviamente non riguardi solo noi architetti ma tutti!, dottori,avvocati scrittori compresi.
Resta il fatto che io non amo ne i vibratori di vetro ne le vagine di cemento.
E’ comunque vero che non si può offendere tutta una categoria, anche perché almeno io ancora non ho mai progettato vibratori di vetro!.
Per il futuro mi auguro che perda un po dei suoi pregiudizi nei nostri confronti, magari conoscendo un architetto Italiano carino e geniale (ah!ah!ah!) come me e il suo lavoro, anche perché, a mio giudizio i pregiudizi non portano mai a niente di buono.
Ciao!.
Matteo Mannucci
They are an architect, and alive to Florence, in Italy.
my English is ugly because he is translate automatically from a web page, excused me!!
I have read the article, is incredible but we architects sometimes know to read, have read the article and have laughed, there are much truth in it.
Task that we would perhaps have to be much more attention to the quality and to renounce to the vanity, but creed that this obviously not cares only we architects but all! , comprised doctors, lawyers and writers(prrrr!!!).
The fact remains that I do not love of it the glass dildos or the concrete vagina.
True E’ however that cannot be offended all a category, also because at least I never have still not planned dildos of glass!.
For the future one I augur myself that it loses a po its prejudgments in our comparisons, even knowing a pretty and brilliant (ah! ah! ah!) Italian architect like me and its job, also because, to my judgment the prejudgments never do not carry to nothing of bond.
Ciao!.
Matteo Mannucci
For those who don’t know Italian, Chris translated for me:
Ciao Annie!
I’m an architect, and I live in Florence, Italy.
My English is horrible because I translated this on an internet site and excuse me [it was bad]!!!
I read your article, it is incredible but we architects do know how to read at times, I read your article and I laughed, there was a lot of truth in it. I think that maybe we should pay more attention to quality and renounce vanity, but I believe that this is obvious not only for architects but for everyone! Doctors, lawyers, writers included. In fact that I don’t love vibrators of glass or vaginas of concrete. And therefore it is true that one can’t insult an entire category, also because I still have never designed a glass dildo! In the future i wish that you would leave a few of your prejudices against us, perhaps because I was thinking of a cute and witty Italian architect like myself (Ha ha ha) and his work, also because in my judgment prejudices never bring anything of good.
Ciao!
Matteo Mannuci
Chris says “I would say that he is more or less positive and vaguely flirting with you, but he is still taking it a little too seriously. He does mention dildo/vagina three times.” Thanks Chris. I like the fact that he is taking it a little too seriously and also mentions dildo/vagina three times. It’s like come on, make up your mind.
ah! ah! ah!, mi fate ridere!.
Ho preso l’articolo troppo poco seriamente???. Come dovevo reagire??? Suicidandomi?? ah!ah!ah!. Ci vuole molto di più per farmi perdere la mia autostima!!!.
ciao!
MM
ah! ah! ah! , fairies to laugh to me!.
I have taken the article too much little seriously?. How I had to react? Killing to me? ah! ah! ah!. It wants a lot to us more in order makes me to lose mine self-esteem!!!.
ciao!
MM
Hi Annie, It’s just to let you know that we found a post in a brasilian political blog about your letter to us architects:
http://deolhonacapital.blogspot.com/
BTW the guy commenting about the lack of commas in our spanish translation is definitely a dickhead. Furthermore he is a basque. That adds injury to the insult in our modest South American’s opinion. Cheers!
Eternauta: I couldn’t tell if you were hating me or flirting with me.
Urbalis: He did a line by line blow of the letter, which is so lame I can’t even tell you. The whole basis of humor is to make certain kinds of general arguments to get at a more specific point. So if you take it apart sentence by sentence, of course you’re going to find ‘holes.’ Humor is supposed to be taken as a whole, not at the sentence level. Dude, I just geeked out there. I apologize. Anyway, the hate mail has been awesome. You should fly up here for Pecha Kucha.
ah! ah! Annie. Sono un architetto, e tu mi insegni che al massimo posso flirtare con Autocad!.
MM
ah! ah! Annie. They are an architect, and you to teach me that to the maximum I can flirt with Autocad!.or not?
MM
I’m italian, I’m an architect too and I ‘m seriously trying to figure you out, annie. What’s wrong with you? I like the way you write but honestly what you say about architects and architecture is 87% crap. I stand by that. why do you write about things you don’t know shit about? Rem Koolhas and OMA I mean, do you honestly think you know enough about it? I’m writing a more articulate commentary which will be soon available (in italian and english) on my blog. I’m respectfully outraged.
notyourbusiness: I think you missed the entire point of the essay, which is to poke fun at a profession that takes itself too seriously at times. It uses different forms of humor (exaggeration, understatement, shock, etc.) to get people to look at themselves and laugh and take a step back to get some perspective on what they do and why. It pokes fun at elements of architecture that I feel are detrimental to the entire profession, such as the hours worked/pay ratio and the starchitecture culture. It’s very easy to dismiss the whole essay as being rude or crass or “crap” but if you read closely, you’ll find that it came from a lot of love and respect. As for writing things one doesn’t know enough about, that really has nothing to do with anything. Are you saying only “experts” in architecture are allowed to write about architecture? I made observations that anyone can make and you could in fact, apply the same arguments I made to lawyers, doctors, or a number of other professions.
mmh. I wonder why you don’t make fun of sweat shop workers, they too work 60/80 hours a week and still aren’t able to buy you drinks….
as for writing about things one knows/doesn’t know about, I was referring to Rem Koolhas, mostly. I’m still wondering why a tasteless joke about an architect’s name belongs in the “architecture” category.
what if you’re right? doctors shouldn’t take themselves too seriusly either, should they.
and any one can just wake up and make fun of the way doctors perform heart surgery or fix broken legs.
“frankly I couldn’t care less about medicine. I prefer paper clips, ugly dolls and jelly beans”
FYI: the house in bordeaux was designed by Rem Koolhas for a man confined on a wheel chair. it’s not Rem’s place. the maid is this guy’s maid. not rem’s. that house is a great piece of architecture, whatever you or the (plump) maid might think about it.
notyourbusiness: The cover headline of Abitare could lead one to believe, before reading the article, that it was “Rem Koolhaas’ Bordeaux home” which can be construed as his OWN home. I imagine that he has several homes, I do not think that is a strange assumption. Also, the difference between sweatshop workers and architects is that architects choose to be in that position for something they love to do. As for doctors, why can’t we make fun of them? They make fun of themselves all the time. People make fun of writers all the time. People make fun of architects. These are people who hopefully love what they do and are able to have perspective and laugh at themselves and understand the sometimes bloated sense of self-importance of their chosen professions. Again, you are missing the entire point of the article. It is very easy to take one sentence from any article and misconstrue it. Humor writing is supposed to be taken as a whole, not at the sentence level.
Anyway I’m glad that my open letter struck a nerve to the point where you tracked me down and read my entires and commented. It means I’ve done my job. I’m excited that my work has garnered such a strong reaction, be it positive or negative.
Notyourbusiness–why are you insisting on personal attacks when the letter is supposed to be a love letter to architects? It’s not like Annie wrote “DEAR NOTYOURBUSINESS, YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCEBAG.” Yet, you are acting like this is the case.
She wrote a letter telling architects that they work too hard for very little reward. How can you be angry that someone can understand the pitfalls of being a regular, not-yet-famous architect?
P.S. I find it offensive that you, a professional in a wealthy country would drag in sweatshop workers into your attack. Also, it’s quite cowardly of you to pretty much post anonymously. Ooh, you’re such an Internet gangsta.
Maybe I did miss the point. or maybe the point wasn’t that clear. Or there wasn’t a point at all. Maybe annie’s open letter to architects simply ended up in the wrong place. As I said before I like a lot annie’s style, I’d even buy her books and put them on my shelf next to, say, David Sedaris and Zadie Smith in the section “funniest wittiest anglophone writers” if only there weren’t so many books around that it’s worth reading that I already have on my list.
As for sweat shop workers, it was, of course, provocative, my point being “do you think we’d work 80 hours a week for very little money if we could have it our way?” I’d rather press charges against sweat shop workers’ employers than making fun of them, and architetcs, believe it or not, do find themselves forced to work that much out of passion, sure, but also because of market conditions that put architecture in such a bad position. and it’s also because of people who say “I don’t care about architecture”. Architecture is NOT just the way buildings look like. and the role of architects is much much more complicated than many other professionals. (who earn more doing less). I just wish there was a laid back, ironic, reactive whatever debate also about that.
for doretta : 1st, no one is attacking annie on a personal ground, 2nd wealthy country or not, I’m glad I am in a country that doesn’t believe in blind and dumb political correcteness, I am not posting anonymously, only my personal site is in a language few people on this planet understand, so I didn’t see the point of linking to it. sorry about that.
Egregia sig.Annie, devo dirle che è la prima volta che leggo tanta ignoranza in una sola persona.Ma cosa più triste, è la prima volta che leggo un articolo dove si dice che è meglio un avvocato di un architetto. Le vorrei spiegare come la penso io,al mondo ci sono due categorie di lavoratori, una fa soldi grazie ai problemi che le persone hanno(es.avvocati, medici, farmacisti, etc) l’altra categoria invece fa soldi aiutando le persone a vivere meglio (es. architetti). Comunque le vorrei ricordare che tutto quello che la circonda, dalla penna al palazzo, dalla sedia su cui è seduta a tutto quello che la circonda, si può definire come ARCHITETTURA. Quindi se non le piace l’architettura devo immaginare che non le piace tutto quello che la circonda ? Forse cell’ha con chi lavora e allo stesso tempo si diverte come noi architetti ? PS. Non esiste architetto che smette di lavorare, il vero architetto lavora con la mente anche quando è seduto a mangiare, quando sta per prendere sonno e anche quando dorme se sogna il progetto per cui sta lavorando. Sfido qualsiasi altra categoria di lavoratori ad essere appassionati come gli architetti. Chissà, se fossero appassionati come noi architetti anche i politici, CHE DECIDONO LE DESTINAZIONI D’USO DEI SUOLI, forse oggi come oggi avremmo meno grattacieli (O COME DICE LEI “VIBRATORI GIGANTI”) e più parchi verdi, ma anche se così fosse, le voglio ricordare che anche i parchi verdi con le aiuole e le panchine sono ARCHITETTURA. LA SALUTO E MI SCUSO PER IL MIO INTERVENTO TANTO BREVE E MAL SCRITTO.. MA .. DEVO ANDARE A LAVORARE SENNò FINISCE CHE LAVORO FINO ALLE 5 DEL MATTINO ANCHE OGGI. CIAO.
Doretta: Exactly! The letter was written out of love and respect for architects. I think a simple and dismissive reading would see it as crass, but I guess I knew that would happen. Though the level of infamy this has brought me has been insane. Like, dude, people, I’ve written OTHER things. Whatever.
Notyourbusiness: Your original comment seemed like a personal attack since it said “What is wrong with you?” as if I must be insane for making these comments/observations about architects. As if any rational person would never come up with the same conclusions. I think my point was clear, people just disagree with me. Doretta is baffled because to her, the letter so clearly came out of love and respect. Look, I’m glad you like my writing and I’m glad I got a reaction out of you. As you can see from the comment above, many people have had some kind of reaction. You should see the discussion on Archinect. Actually you shouldn’t, because it will depress you.
Ma questa Doretta…cioe’ .. Annie… non ha proprio niente da fare dalla mattina alla sera ?.. beata te francesca..cioe’ annie…e che non ricordo mai il tuo nome, cmq se continui a sparare cazzate cosi’ come stai ancora facendo, puoi stare tranquilla che prima o poi lo diventi famosa, e farai anche un sacco di soldini e allora si che sarai un’altra nuova famosa ignorante che parla a vanvera grazie alle conoscenze e ai giusti agganci che sicuramente hai per poter scrivere su un giornale senza alcuna cognizione di causa.
BEATA IGNORANZA!!!.
Valerio: Ehi nessuno qui capisce l’italiano. Ma vedo sei molto arrabbiato.
I can translate, since not only I am an architect but I also speak 4 languages. (italian, french, spanish and english and some german)
valerio basically says :
1)that if you’re not interested in architecture then you’re not interested in the world around you.
2)that an architect never stops working not even when he’s eating or taking a nap, for the passion architects put in their job never rests
3)that there are paramount differencies between architects and other professionals and it’s offensive to compare architects to, say, lawyers and other porfessionals who take advantage of people’s miseries
4) that if politicians (’cos politicians decide what’s allowed to be built on a given piece of land, did you know that?) ruled our towns better maybe we’d have parks and playgrounds around instead of towers, skyscrapers and the likes of glass dildos, but then again parks and gardens too and even benches would be the product of architects’ work so you would not like them, would you.
then there are his insults, that I won’t translate.
suffice to say he thinks “he’s never seen that much ignorance in just one person”, which I disagree with, there’s much much worse around.
as for myself, no I won’t get depressed, I’m depressive stuff-proof. I design mainly psychiatric hospitals, I can’t afford being depressed.
Notyourbusiness: Thank you for translating, though I think you shouldn’t have wasted your time. I gathered that he was angry, you don’t need to speak Italian to figure that out.
Don’t you want to know why he is angry? I mean he has a few good points.
I’ve figured out a few things.
I imagine how this entire business must feel to you: you write something out of love, put lot of irony in it, true bits of your personal life, you do your job of writer and you get rewarded, among other things, with hate and insults. the problem is, in my opinion, one should take responsibilities for his/her statements when expressed in a public form, at least. It’s easy to say “I was being ironic, just kidding, don’t take it too seriously, chill out etc.” the point is not whether people understand your irony. the point is your letter was addressed to architects (imagine this all capitalized) and published in an architecture magazine (all caps again). the letter was not about architects or architecture really, nor an opinion, any opinion, about architecture. it was it’s exact opposite : the lack of an opinion. it was an entertaining and personal account of your experience with architects and architecture (i.e. a bunch of friends and somethign you don’t care about). which is perfect for your blog, your books whatever but doesn’t belong in an architecture magazine (or supposed so) also (maybe mostly) because of the title they gave it, which I think is a very bad translation of your original one. In fact the italian title sounds more like “I’m sick of the nasty things you do” since they translated it “shit” literally with “merda” which in italian means literally the stuff that comes out from one’s ass. In italian we don’t have expressions like “get your shit over here” move your shit over yonder” “don’t give me that shit”. In italian shit is shit. period.
If I were you I’d complain with the translator, honestly. I guess there’s where the misunderstanding of your intentions started.
Notyourbusiness: I know exactly why people are angry and are motivated enough to seek me out and write me or comment on my blog, be it in Italian, Spanish, or in English. I honestly didn’t think people would be that incensed, I guess I am a better writer than I thought. Hah. I don’t think it was a bad translation really for what it’s worth. I think most of it got across, and plenty of Italians understood the humor/irony/my point/etc. despite some of the cultural idiosyncrasies that didn’t translate well. I don’t see why an article like mine shouldn’t belong in an architecture magazine. That’s up to the editors. Plenty of magazines have published “serious” work next to “humorous” work that pokes fun at itself. I think it’s probably healthy.
love the italians. they’re way tooo emotional! n of course, love the way you handle them.
maybe next time you consider writing “Dear Italians”?
you ROCK!
dear annie,
i had a day of listening to an architect stroke his ego and an audience help him to finish by asking all the right questions. “what about the people?” is the only question the architect’s entire ouvre of organic/seductive/wankish forms inspired (though that is a very important question that is often forgotten), all my days end up something like this, but today was particularly annoying. but then i saw your open letter on the wall and the day was better. i like architects, i am surrounded by architects, i am writing a thesis on architects, but architects (sorry for the repitition) do often take themselves too seriously. this has been proved twice by the above comments, firstly by notyourbusiness’ comparison of architects and sweatshop workers. destitute architects are difficult to find, or indeed are architects willing to give up their terrible lives and instead work in a sweatshop, secondly, your misunderstanding ‘rem koolhaas’ bordeaux home’ as being koolhaas’ own home is significant. this is architect speak, phrases like this can be found in architecture almost from the beginning of architecture journals. buildings are thought of as works of art, glass dildos are thought of as works of art, like michelangelo’s david, so lord foster’s gherkin. except it is often forgotten that people don’t physically live and work in paintings, but they do in buildings. though i have not explained myself very well what is basically meant is good job you.
Thank’s.
APPROFITTO PER UN PO’ DI PUBBLICITA’… SE CERCATE UN ARCHITETTOOOO…
Dear Annie
your excelent letter of “dear architects” has been published in architecture blogs from Chile (it’s a country, in south america)
http://www.plataformaarquitectura.cl/2007/11/03/dear-architects-i%c2%b4m-sick-of-your-shit/
and also translated to de spanish in the web
http://xnipereye.wordpress.com/2007/11/04/queridos-arquitectos-estoy-harta-de-su-mierda/
HI Jaime: I can’t believe it’s still going! This explains the Spanish hate mail lately.
I love you annie … i will be your preferite architect. I know that you love me too. kisses.
ps. L’amore non e’ bello se non e’ litigarello…:o).
my friend who is an architecture student posted your “Dear Architects” piece in his blog.
He loved it and so did his classmates.
I thought it was hilarious. I’m a dancer.. would you make fun of dancers too? haha. kidding.. but if you will, i’d read it. hahaha.
Cheska: Sweet. I’d never make fun of dancers. They already have it hard as it is. With the twisting and the turning and all that French stuff, it’s exhausting.
HI ANNIE, I’VE JUST READ YOUR ARTICLE, IM AN ARCHITECT AND I THINK THAT YOURE TOTALY RIGHT, I LMAO, ITS SO SMART AND CLEVER, THANKS FOR MAKING MY DAY I WILL SHARE IT WITH SOME OF MY ARCHITECT COLLEAGES, IM READING YOUR OTHER WRITINGS AND I LOVED THEM, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK, BTW IM FROM MEXICO.
BEST REGARDS
MARIO SEGURA
Mario: Thanks! It is nice to know it’s still out there and going strong!
Hi Annie - just found out about it yesterday night:) We were 5 architects and one friend of ours who almost apologised for being ignored (again). He’s almost close to venting. I can feel it. And then someone brought up your letter for the laughs. I read it today. It’s all true. Very true. But: YOU COULD HAVE DONE SO MUCH BETTER!!!!!!!!!!