Thanks, Architects & Harry Potter Dumped My Ass
Thank you, architects, for all the comments and emails. Most of you were so very nice and gracious, and some of you, not so much. But that’s OK. I’m just happy that I can write something that drives strangers to ask me on a date or tell me that I am a horrible person who needs to die a horrible death (most likely by taking meeting minutes) for all the horrible atrocities I committed against all the innocent, starving, orphan architects just trying to make a living. Just so you know, the letter has not stopped any of my architect friends from talking about architecture. Plus, the three non-architects I know are now talking about architecture, so it appears that my plan has backfired. Damn you, architects! Damn you! You’ve won this time, but I’m watching you. Don’t fuck up.
And in other news: Harry Potter finally dumped me. After ten years of what I felt like was a deeply committed and loving relationship, he gave me the finger (or two fingers if you are in the U.K.) and said, “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.” Just like that. We’ve been together for ten years. I spent the best years of my life with this douchebag. And now what? No thank you, no comforting hug or squeeze on the shoulder. Just a big F U and a flippant wave of the hand. So that’s how it all goes down. I also learned that he was apparently cheating on me with, like, millions of other people, including MEN AND CHILDREN. Not that it’s a bad thing, but a little heads up would’ve been nice. Maybe just a few words: Hey Annie, I really like you, but I want to see other people. I would’ve been hurt, but I would’ve understood. God, Harry Potter, I hate your guts. Wait, you know what? You can’t dump me because I DUMP YOU FIRST.
I liked your thing about hating architects. I feel the same way. I studied architecture and practiced for a while, but now I am in another business, so I know how annoying most architects are, and how pathetic their insistence on the holiness of their endeavors actually is. There are many occupations that are just as fulfilling, while being much more financially renumerative and less of a pain in the ass then being an architect. On the other hand, I am enthralled by New York’s physical presence, which architects, admittedly, have had a hand in, so I can’t entirely write them off.
SO YOU’RE THE SLUT HE’S BEEN WITH EVERYTIME HE SAYS HE’S GOING TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME BEN & JERRY’S?!?!? Ever since the first movie, he’s been thinking he’s such hot shit. I thought we had something, but all this time it was YOU he would think about when the I put out the light! Well now you can feel some of MY pain. How do you like the taste of THAT karma sandwich? bitch.
Soooo, you doin’ anything tonight? I guess we’re both free, huh.
as a recovered(ing) architect…or at least a recovered(ing) aspriring architect…I have to say i haven’t laughed so loud in public in i don’t know how long. I wish you lived next door to me so I can be reminded daily of how mostly the real meaning in life can be found what you had for lunch today, (that is if I haven’t spent a month’s worth of lunch money on really cute shoes), how nice the clouds look through my morning window, and if dick cheney is really always wearing his crabby pants.
i love your humor and astute eye. please do me a favor….pick on designers next. they need a good licking . start with karim…..
Steven: All jobs are a pain in the ass. That is why they are called jobs and not “happy ca$h funtime.”
dumptbyharry2: Tonight I am staying in and crying.
Deirdre: I had beets for lunch. Not much meaning there. Dick Cheney has an entire outfit made of crabby, not just his pants.
Dear Annie,
Love what you wrote about architects, I enjoyed it so much that I had to search for your website to read about other things that may or may not interest you. Would there be a sequel?. I’m surprised you still haven’t ditched your architect friends. I’m an architect for 20 years now and yet I do not have architect friends, I can’t stand them as much as you don’t. I don’t spend my free time with any of them. All they talk about is this building that building and all that crap. I’ve been eating lunch alone for more than ten years now.An I am strictly a 9 to 5 guy, no overtimes or over night work, when the clock strikes 5:00 I’d quickly run home because I’d rather spend all my time with my two kids Ryan 5 and Roy 2and a half years old playing with transformers. Now that you mentioned it, the way they transformed in the movies didn’t make as much sense as the toys.
You funny. I didn’t realize that Starscream’s voice was done by the same guy who did Cobra Commander! My youth, oh how I miss my youth!
Ruben: Thanks. I have a lot more to say about things that do and do not interest me but the problem is that magazines and journals do not find this interesting because I do not talk about Lindsay Lohan’s ongoing and uphill battle with addiction and stupidity.
Jack E. Chan: Yeah man, Starscream and the CC are the same dude. Apparently he died in the 90s, so he couldn’t do the movies. Though I feel like with modern technology they could’ve made it all happen. I think Maxwell Smart (Don Adams in real life) was the voice of Inspector Gadget, but I guess that one’s easy. In poker whenever anyone has a pair of 9s we call it a Barbara Felding, after Agent 99.
I see, said the blind man peeing in the wind, I see. Your knowledge of late ’80′s/early ’90′s cartoons is formidable. I personally think the cartoons today leave much to be desired. We not only had the Transformers, but also He-Man, his g-friend She-Ra, Thundercats, the Snorks, etc. And, or course, DuckTales – Woo hoo! Spongebob is cool, but let me tell you, he’s no Papa Smurf.
To Steven-
It’s remunerative not renumerative.
I have a master’s in architectural history from a prestigious Virginia architecture school. We M’Archs used to HATE the ARCH students, so full of themselves, all cut from the same black cloth, with their funky glasses (de rigeur, whether you needed them to see or not) Bunch of pathetic slobs who lived 24/7 in the A-school, sleeping on flea-infested couches of their own making, leaving their pizza boxes everywhere. Yuck!
I wonder how many are fay-mous like Howard Roark now, fashioning monstrosities like Daniel Libeskind?
Hey Annie,
There seems to be a boatload of playa-haters out there that gotta go easy on the Hatorade!!! I ain’t gonna lie: I’m a funky eyeglasses wearin’ muthascratcher who is broke all the time & does occasionally go a bit overboard on the archi-speak, but like the great philosopher Popeye says: ‘I ams what I ams & that’s all that I ams………’and on top of all that, I think that Starscream sucked ass in Transformers movie that just came out……and wasn’t Megatron a kick-ass gun?!?!?!?!
**sniff.. sniff**
i think i am in love!!!
and u should have known better when u get involved with a 14 year old wizard!
)
Dear Annie, I love your shit.
It gives me the creeps though, to see that your new york architect friends seems to have so much in common with us swedish architects. The main difference is that we don’t draw so many glass cocks. I don’t really want to go into speculation on why, but there seems to be only one reasonable physiological explanation…
A note on transformers – a truck doesn’t fold out into a pimped-up japanese mecha. Obvious to all but i guess visual style kicks the crap out of being authentic any day of the week.
Eurotrash: I am sure the arch students said the samething about the M.Arch students just without the fleas. It’s not like M.Archs dont’ wear black, come on.
Megatron: Double true. Starscream was so lame in the new Transformers movie. I was like BLOW SHIT UP! And he’d just fly away.
Leo: I’m so never falling for a 14 year old wizardboy again.
Per: But you can have visual style and also blow shit up and also transform in a totally kick ass authentic way. The Swedes totally draw glass cocks, I think they’re just more efficient or something.
so, i am an architect, and i freakin love your letter! thanks for calling us all out we need it sometimes(probably more than that)
And… harry and i are still together.. i feel it coming to an end in the near future. sad….
Hi Annie:
First, let me just say that I think it’s nice that you take the time to read these comments and respond. When I write my blog, nobody ever comments. Of course, I didn’t publish a book like you did, so why should anyone bother. But I do get my friends telling me that they read my blog in person. And then I ask why didn’t they comment so I could know that I wasn’t writing into a vacuum. So I think it’s a generous touch that you acknowledge the people who read your blog.
Second, I just got your book. Ok, actually my mom bought it a few weeks ago. And then when I was home in Chicago, she gave it to me and said “tell me if it’s good, and then send it back.” I haven’t finished it, but I’m enjoying it so far. And you’ll be happy to know that I’ll probably just order another copy for my mom so she can read it on the plane to Seoul when she goes in the Fall. And then I’m sure she’ll give it to one of her friends, and the Korean mother mafia will all have read your book.
Third, I don’t know any architects. But I did really enjoy taking this survey course of architecture my last semester of undergrad. And the architectural boat tour of Chicago kicks ass if you’re ever in the city(which boasts the most gorgeous architecture in the US). And there was a really great play about Frank Lloyd Wright and what a bastard he was to his own family called Frank’s Home starring Peter Weller from Robocop as Wright that I saw earlier this year. I know you don’t give a shit, but since people are talking architects. So maybe this supports your thesis about architects? Or maybe this is just a nonsequitur cul de sac.
Fourth, my biggest problem with the Transformers movie is that there was that stupid hacker subplot that went absolutely nowhere and added nothing to the narrative. They could have cut out 45 minutes and had a cleaner main storyline. Did you understand what happened with the All Spark and why it supposedly killed Megatron at the end? Why was Shia Laboeuf running to that specific intersection in Downtown LA? Nothing made sense and the way Michael Bay frenetically cuts together action -you couldn’t tell a decepticon from an autobat.
Finally, did you enjoy I’m a Cyborg? I thought it was an interesting departure and am glad that Park Chanwook is getting away from those Vengence movies (which were way overhyped). But Park still strikes me a bit too much style and not enough genuine substance. Something false at the core. My sis liked that yodelling song Rain sings though. My college roommate now lives down the block from Rain in Chungdahm-dong and his little daughter likes to call out “Hi Oppa!”when they pass Rain’s house.
Oh btw, are you really writing a script about zombies? I’ll watch anything with vampires and zombies.
Hey Jessie: How can you still be with Harry the way he’s cheated on you with like the entire world?
Hi Chris:
First – Thanks. I try to stay on top of commenting back but I’m not so good with the time management and it takes me a few days.
Second – The NYPD should just hire the Korean momma mafia to take care of business they are wasting their time trying to recruit normal people.
Third – I know that Chicago is a good architecture town because my architect friends say it is. I remember one of my friends took an entire class in grad school just about Chicago. I dunno that sounds a little irritating to me. I like Chicago but like, not that much. I don’t like anything that much.
Fourth – They should’ve cut 45 minutes and added scenes of robots blowing SHIT UP.
Finally – I did like it. The yodeling was awesome. Your college roommate is a lucky man.
BTW- Yes.
and now P.S. – Your comment is better suited as an email to me (see Contact page). It’s like longer than the original blog post you know that?
Annie, I’m sorry to hear about you and Harry. If you get the urge to go on fanfiction.net and find who he has been cheating on you with, be strong. Don’t do it.
ha, you rock.
Stacy – Fan fiction kind of scares me but also excites me. I’m not sure what to do about it.
Lauren: thanks