Nitwits
Today at BrainPOP, I’m writing a movie on lice. And I want to vomit in my own mouth, only to swallow it, so I can vomit again.
Seriously, the best way to kill your appetite and perhaps destroy your will to live is to research and write about lice and their eggs, called nits. Nits are tan/brown before they hatch and then white after they’ve hatched. Oh my god this is so gross.
Then of course there’s body lice but I’m only focusing on head lice. That is a whole other “situation”, one which belongs in the “Situation Room” and out of my brain.
I’ve had lice TWICE, as in two times! Once in kindergarten when the entire class got it. My mother was totally mortified and kept blaming my classmates and the teacher and then blamed Americans all together, as if they don’t have it in Korea or something. And then I got it again in seventh grade from my friend Karen’s little brother who was in first grade. That was awful. My hair was way past my shoulders and Karen had to sit there with this metal comb and get rid of all the dead parasites. What a total nightmare. And of course my mother was like, damn white people and their lice.
Right now, as I write, I keep itching my head and thinking oh man what if I have lice? Apparently Brooklyn has a bedbug problem which is just disgusting, and to be honest I rather have lice because I think it’s easier to get rid of, though I could be wrong. Maybe bedbugs are better. I don’t know. I can’t choose. Why must I choose? Stop making me choose, shut up.
I think lice is cheaper to deal with.
I love how reading about something completely disgusting causes people to want to share it. Recently I read about a person who had their appendix removed through their mouth. Eww! So naturally I had to blog about it and make sure other people could also taste a phantom appendix in their mouths as well.
I’d go with bedbugs. You can sleep elsewhere until the problem is gone. Borrowing another person’s hair. . . really not an option.
Hey Stacy: THat’s awesome and in addition disgusting. Everything should be removed via the mouth or nostril. You can borrow another person’s hair but you’ll get lice. What a vicious cycle.
Doretta: Dude, shouldn’t you be WRITING and MAKING US RICH?
I forgot, writing and making us rich are my top priorities. That and reading this blog.
I would rather have bedbugs because I hear they are so “in” in Brooklyn.